MARRIAGE: A DIFFICULT PROPOSITION

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
It took my parents ten years to find me a bride in Pakistan. Read about how difficult marriage is in Pakistan.

Submitted: July 02, 2015

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Submitted: July 02, 2015

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MARRIAGE, A DIFFICULT PROPOSITION IN PAKISTAN When I was growing up, the only thing that I aspired to do was to get married. It may sound stupid but I still remember that I was very romantic even as a young child and sadly I never grew out of it. But it would take me 36 years before I was finally married to someone I didn’t know. Sadly it does not sound very romantic. That’s because in a Muslim country like Pakistan, parents usually select the bride or the groom which is in sharp contrast to the West. Therefore, just when I had given up on getting married as my mother could not locate a suitable bride, I was pleasantly surprised when my mother rang me up at work one day and told me that she had found the perfect woman for me. I remember asking her if what she said was true for it had taken her exactly a decade to find me one. Though I did have girlfriends but my mother had disliked the idea of my getting hitched to anyone of them for she did not think well of women who dated men. Call it old fashioned or whatever, but that was the way my mother was. Finding someone to marry in Pakistan is like searching for a needle in a haystack especially when the parents of the bride and groom are quite idealistic when it comes to selecting the perfect match. They often hire professional matchmakers to help them out and some of them charge a hefty sum for locating this ideal bride or groom. Of course parents want the best for their sons and daughters but the standards that they setup are often unreal. For instance the parents of most daughters in Pakistan look for men who are well educated, very well placed, rich and immensely successful. The problem is that most young and well educated men are not very well settled or rich. Similarly most young men ask their mothers to find them decent, well-educated and extremely good looking wives but unfortunately finding someone with all these characteristics is quite difficult and it may mean that the parents of the prospective groom invest a lot of time in actually finding the cherished match. As a consequence, marriage in Pakistan has become a very difficult prospect. Marriage has been further complicated in the country with people often not willing to marry outside their caste or particular sect in religion. These are self-created problems which are gradually giving way to a more relaxed view of marrying outside castes today. One of the major problems that the parents of young women face today is providing dowry for them. It is a pathetic situation where the parents of the groom expect the parents of the bride to provide her with material possessions such as air-conditioners, refrigerator, TV, furniture and a whole lot more. Therefore marriages in Pakistan are an expensive proposition especially for those parents who have a lot of daughters to wed.


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