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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A humorous story about a marriage that turns sour.

Submitted: July 05, 2015

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Submitted: July 05, 2015



When you marry someone and bring a woman home, you generally think about sex most of the time when making the decision but once she is home and yours you stop appreciating her value after sometime. Of course, she is there in front of you day in and day out. Her absence would build her value but the problem with a wife is that she is there every day. More often than relationships are not about sex only but it is about mutual respect, give and take, compassion, compromise and understanding. However the problem with us, the male breed, is that somehow our tongues start rolling and our eyes start popping out when we see a beautiful female specimen. Quite often, my wife notices my avaricious stares and she tells me that I am a ‘dog’. Well now that is not a compliment. But what can we men do when beautiful voluptuous women dress up in kinky outfits exposing their boobs and butts. How can a man take cover? How does one turn his eyes away and not note something beautiful on display? Quite a many times, there was a deep urge within me to become single again and flirt with different babes but marriage had made that impossible. Noticing my face book buddies, my wife Wanda, went into a ‘suspicion’ mode. And she examined the profiles of each and every one of them and made me delete any females that I may have added. In addition to it, she had a nasty habit of regularly going through my mobile messages. It was down and out nasty on her bit but Wanda was a creature given to suspicion.

Even the sex that we had nearly killed me once. Wanda had proceeded to give me oral sex at my urging and she had been rough and nearly ripped out my manhood. I had to spend a day recovering at the hospital from muscular damage to my manhood. It had been a painful experience and for a month I decided not to have any sex with Wanda. She was quite moody when it came to having sex for some reason. There was I ready to tear her apart with my flaming manhood but Wanda often complained of feeling pain after sex and she would avoid it if she could. After seeing too many sex videos, I would often fantasize about wild anal sex but with Wanda the very act was degrading for any human being.

I remember that it was a week after our marriage and she had some abdominal cramps which she suspected to be indicative of her being pregnant. Some much for women and their knowledge about pregnancy.

On our first day of marriage, I tried to insert my manhood into her vagina but it would not work. Infact she complained about feeling intense pain. Therefore it was perhaps a week after marriage that we had our first intercourse wearing a condom. But as I told you earlier on marriage is not about sex. It is about feeling love and compassion for one another. But my wife was perhaps more keen about our going to Europe to spend our honeymoon and about the presents that I was going to buy her to make her feel special. Though I was well to do but four months down the road I felt like I was just an overused credit card. I felt like a puppy dog being led by a leash to every departmental store in Europe. If I ever complained about wasting money and trashing it, Wanda would often glare at me and give me a piece of her mind. Flying into a terrible temper, she would often hurl any object that came into sight at me. Her heeled shoes would become her chief Weopans of mass assault and destruction. On one occasion she nearly scalped me with them.

 I felt that I had been dealt a nasty blow by nature. Maybe it was just retribution by God for my numerous adulterous liaisons and failed relationships. But whatever this was, it was my kismet and written in my stars. After getting tired of one night stands and failed relationships, I had decided upon settling down with someone and having children and grandchildren. Of course this is a dream that everyone has. My divorced friends had tried to shake me off from pursuing a marriage but my heart had been set upon it.


Now I looked at Wanda and wondered if it had been the correct decision.

There she stood, a wicked beauty, but one given to temper, moods and tantrums. She was allergic to pollen and dust. Quite often she would have one of these allergies and she would whine and complain about it all day long.

I had been introduced to Wanda by a common friend. At first sight, I had fallen in love with her but then I had a bad habit of falling in love with most women. She was an educationist by profession and belonged to a wealthy family. However where people are educated, somehow they are not the best of human beings. Wanda had seemed to be a straightforward and fun person to be. She was a wild party animal. Luckily or unluckily she had accepted my proposal for marriage quite easily.

Being educated at Harvard University working for Citibank, I was quite established by the time I was thirty five and I had not married by then. I remember when I met Wanda’s parents for the first time. Wanda’s father was a successful doctor and her mother a housewife. She was the only child and she was quite spoilt. They were quite friendly and a seemingly decent lot. I wondered where Wanda had inherited her streak of terrible temper and spending money from.

Life was meandering by. Wanda was busy visiting beauty parlors getting regular facials and massages and attending coffee parties. During the evenings when we met, she would be getting ready to go to the gym for a work out. When she came back, she would usually ask me to take her out to dine somewhere trendy and expensive. Of course we would often quarrel when I was tired and unwilling to go out anywhere but that did not stop her from leaving me alone at home and going somewhere to eat. I felt used especially when I had to sit home alone and eat by myself.

“Wanda”, I said “I have largely ignored your tantrums, your sudden swing in moods and your temper but lately I have been reflecting upon our decision to marry and I think that it was a poor one on my part.”

“ You are so damn boring Richard”, replied Wanda.

“Boring?” I said “It’s you who are boring in bed. It is you who don’t seem to have time for me. You are busy in your coffee and committee parties or getting beauty treatments day in and out. Living you has turned out to be a nightmare.”

Wanda glared at me, her hands placed on her hips as she said “ Richard ! I feel that we made a wrong decision and we are simply not made for one another.”

“That’s right we are not made for one another. I feel that I made a poor decision” I replied.

“Richard! I have a confession to make”.

“What is it?” I asked.

“ I am dating someone.”

For the first time, I lost my cool and I slapped Wanda hard. The marriage had ended.

© Copyright 2017 Tahir Hamid. All rights reserved.

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