Die without you

Reads: 440  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 4

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

There's always that one person you can't live without

It's my turn to wish you a longer year

I tend to dream of you when I'm sleeping

It's my turn to fix you in my world

But even imaginary emotions tell me everything

It's my turn to hold you by your hand

And tell you that I love you

And wish you were here

It's my turn to totally understand

To watch you walk out of my life

And I can't do a damn thing

I apologize for all the things I've done

But now I'm under water

And I'm drowning

It's my turn to be the one to cry

Isn't it amazing?

How somethings just completely turn around?

It takes every littke piece of my heart

It takes every little piece of my soal

Take every little piece of my pride

Because if you're gone

Inside, I die without you

If I can give away every feeling I feel

If I can sacrifice whatever, I would

If I could take apart all that I am

For anything that I wouldn't do

Inside I die without you

Being without you is like saying I can't breathe air


Submitted: July 26, 2015

© Copyright 2022 Talique Metz. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Grammarbully7

Over all, the poem is very deep. Yet there are some errors here and there... It's better if you punctuate sentences properly, like - "It's my turn to fix you, my world." And spaces between the words - "some things". And spellings - "soul". I don't get the sentence "If I can give away every feeling, then I can", the 'I can' doesn't go well with the sentence. And the last sentence would sound better if it was something like, "Being without you is like not being able to breathe air" or something. I'm sorry, those are just some mistakes I found. It's totally up to you. I enjoyed it, altogether.

Sun, July 26th, 2015 4:34am

Author
Reply

It's cool. I was typing too fast when I wrote this. I'll be sure to correct them

Sat, July 25th, 2015 9:58pm

unmasked delusions

"imaginary emotions" cool line. Looks like someone needs to teach you how to breathe air again, huh? Hope you feel better. I can't relate to Romance poems but I don't mind reading them when I can feel the beauty and emotion- which I felt with this. I could feel that sense of distress.

Sun, July 26th, 2015 5:21pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading

Sun, July 26th, 2015 3:43pm

Elif A.

"Inside i die withouth you" ..Especially that sentence was so impressive..Yes there is always one person that we can't live withouth, but life goes on.

Thu, August 20th, 2015 9:48pm

Author
Reply

True that. Thanks for reading

Fri, August 21st, 2015 8:39am

Yulia

Amazing!!! I just can't find words to describe how amazing it is!!! It's very deep and emotional. You've done great job on this and you've put all your feelings in it which is makes a poem brilliant piece. But it's kinda sad at the same time, it feels like something about regretting and missing someone loved. Keep on writing =)

Thu, August 27th, 2015 11:32am

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading

Thu, August 27th, 2015 3:00pm

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