One in the same

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A mother struggles to bond with her stepdaughter.

Submitted: March 24, 2015

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 24, 2015



Hi, I'm Naesha Martinez, I'm almost 29. I'm Puerto Rican and Hawaiian. I'm 5.8, long black hair, and light tanned skin. I'm a mother...well, sorta. I'm a stepmother. My step daughter is 15 years old, she's full Mexican, yeah, I won big time. anyway, she's almost my hieght, 5.3, and she's a little chunky with short brown hair. Her name is Vanessa. I think having a stepchild is one heck of a challenge, because my daughter sees me as her other mom. Her dad is actually my boyfriend, his name is Alex. Anyway, it's hard because I get lucky to bond with my daughter because we don't always see eye-to-eye. 

Vanessa's life revolves around shopping, food, YouTube, and boys. She's really good at three of those. Keep guessing what the fourth one is. Anyway, I tell Vanessa that she needs to make convorsation with other people. "I wish you would talk more." I'd say to her. "You can talk to me. I wish you would talk to me more. I'm just saying, I only do it proffesionally."

But she's antisocial. She'd rather text than talk.

"Vanessa!" I'd yell across the house. "Did you take out the trash!?" Nothing. All of a sudden, my phone would go off. I look at the text I get.

"No." Vanessa would text me.

That's my big deal. I just want her to take out the trash, and everyday it's a problem. I don't ask her to do a lot. I think, personally, Vanessa has it lucky. There are times where she'll purposly get into it with me. Now, I'm not a bad person, but I won't hesitate to make you regret what you did towards me. 

One time, Vanessa takes my laptop and she lied to me about it. So, when I drop her off at school, her friends are waiting for in the front of the school. As Vanessa gets out the car, I role down the window. "Vanessa!" I yelled. "Did you remember to put on deodorant?" All her friends and classmates start laughing and pointing at her.

Vanessa turns around and looks at me with a look of embaracement and discuss. "Yes!" She said all angry. "I. Did!" I could see the fire in her eyes and she starts blusshing.

"Really?" I said. "Let me smell you."

Vanessa covers her arms. "Mom!" She said. "I'm wearing deodorant!" One of her friends grabs her arms and sniffs her pits. "Angle!"

"She's not." Vanessa's friend Angle said.

"Ugh!" Vanessa got mad and storms into the school.

The next day, Vanessa comes home from school all mad. I'm in the kitchen making meatloaf for dinner while Alex is making burgers for lunch. Alex sees Vanessa. "Hey, Buger." Alex said to Vanessa. "How was school?"

Vanessa doesn't answer. She looks at me, unzips her bag and dumps out like 19  deodorants. "SEE WHAT YOU DID!!!!!" Vanessa yelled at me.

"Wow." I said, laughing. "Look at all the money we just saved."

Alex was impressed. "Talk to her aout how she needs towels." He said to me.

Vanessa stomps upstairs all mad and mumbles as she slams her door.

I look forward to a few things. I look forward to December because Vanessa is for social, otherwise she's one word kid. You know what I mean, right?

Parent: How was your day?

Kid: Good

Parent: You got homework?

Kid: Yeah

Parent: Are you going to do it?

Kid: Maybe

Parent: You hungry?

Kid: Mhm

Parent: What do you want?

Kid: Food


Usually, that's what I get. But when Decmber roles around, Vanessa becomes very chatty because she has an agenda. "Hey, mom." She'd tell me. "Hows your week, mom? Hows work? You need anything? You need anything?"

"I needed this in June." I'd tell her. "Just saying."

 I look foward to problems. I love problems because Vanessa and I can work together to figure it out. I see that as a real form of bonding. Don't get me wrong, some times it's expensive. You're laughing? Yeah, let me tell you. One time, they took her Nokia from school and she comes home all devistated. I just got home from a long day at work and I collapsed on the couch.

"Mom!" Vanessa said crying. "I got to talk to you."

"What?" I said. "What is it?"

"They stole my phone from school!"

"That's why you're talking." I started laughing.

"It's not funny."

You have no idea how funny it was to me. "What happened?" I asked her.

"They broke into my locker and took my Nokia and my friend Lisa's iPhone." She explains to me. "And if we go to the school, we can fill out a report. We know exactly who did it. Can we go?"

"Look, Vanessa, I'm really, really, tired." I tell her. "I just got out of work and I can barley stand. I promise you, I'll help you out tomorrow."

"Can we go right now?"

"Vanessa, I'm- Please."

"I need my phone" She groans.

"Vanessa, you can last one day without your phone."

She's not getting her way, so she looks at the ground. "THEY TOOK MY PHONE!!!" She screamed.

"Hey! You took my freedom, you don't hear me screaming." I said to her, getting annoyed. "I just accept it, process it, and we move on."

"What's going to happen?"

"I don't know. I think I'm going upstair, take a shower, order you and your father some Chinese food and go to bed."

"No, I mean what's going to happen if I don't get my phone?"

"That's a good question. I don't know."

"You're not going to get me a new one?"

"No, hon. I already got you a phone. It was your responsiblity to take care of that phone."

"You should get me a new phone."

"Vanessa, seriosuly?"

What she said next messed me up. "You should get me a new phone. It's nothing for you to get me a new phone."

I'm a DJ, I DJ for weddings, Sweet 16's, parties, you get the idea. She thinks that what I do is easy. Because all she sees when she has to come with me to work on a late openning for school is, I sign into work, I sit in my office, she sits in the break lounge, or I bring her to one of the parties I DJ for and then cool stuff magically appear in her room. She doesn't understand that DJing is a job and there are sacrifices that come along with it.

"Listen, Vanessa." I said. "Explain to me why I should get you a new phone. If it makes sense, I'll do it right now. Go."

"I need one." Vanessa says to me.

"No you don't, Vanessa. A cell phone for a teenager isn't an assesidy, it's a lugdury."

"What if there's an emergency?"

"Like what? Someone taking your phone? What did you do today when they took your phone?"

"I went to the cafeteria and my friend Quitin let me use his phone and I called my dad."

"Well, if that doesn't work, you can tell the office that there is a family emergencey, please contact my mom or my dad. Next?"

"What if you need to get a hold of me?"

"I know what school you go to."

"What about when I'm walking home?"

"I know the route that you take."

I think this was her best excuse I've heard. "What if someone tries to kidnap me?" She asked.

"You waigh 215." I said, sucking my teeth. "Good luck. They're not kidnapping your ass without a Nokia and a box of oreos. Vanessa, do you have any idea how lucky you are? You had a phone. I didn't have a phone in school, your dad didn't have a phone in school. We had to carry change."

The problem is with Vanessa is, well, Vanessa is very spoiled. And I realized that it's my fault. When she first came into my life when she was five years old, she was very greatful. What I did was, I started giving her stuff as the years went by. It takes alot to say that. Alex pointed it out.

"You're messing up." Alex tells me.

"What am I doing wrong?" I asked.

"You don't let her earn anything." He said. "You don't let her make an attempt to try and work hard towards something, so of course she doesn't appreceate things."

And it was very evidant last month on her birthday. I bought her a pair of ear rings, like expensive ear rings that teenage girls would kill each other for. I'm standing in the kitchen with a big smile on my face. "Happy birthday!" I said.

She looks at the ear rings. "Cool." That's all she says. Sometimes I get lucky, she'll say it twice. "Coo-coo." And she walks around to see what other presents there are.

"Did you see that?" I whispered to Alex. "Did you see-"

"Don't get mad!" Alex said, cutting me off. "I told you, you don't let her earn anything. Now, that's why she acts like that, she expects things."

I want to get mad, but he's absolutely right. She's at the point of spoiled where she'll give away her stuff.

She walks up to me one day. "Mom." She said all confident. "I'm really bored with my Nintendo Wii, can I give to my friend Angle?"

"What did you say?" I asked her.

"I'm bored with my Nintendo Wii. Can I give it away?"

"Is it broken?"


"How long have you had it?"

"About five years."

"How many games do you have for it?"

"Like 300."

I can feel you judging me. Let me set the record straight, I didn't buy my daughter 300 games. I have a friend who is a computer hacker and he put 300 games on my daughter's hard drive. Yes I have money, but, I'm still ghetto.

"Vanessa." I began. "Do you know how lucky you are? You have a Nintendo Wii that works."

"Why is that such a big deal?" Vanessa asked me, rolling her eyes.

"Because I had a thing called a Nintendo."


"No!" I said with a surprised look. "Vanessa, in 1999, I had a thing called a Nintendo 64. It did last five years, it later two because my idiot brother decided it was a good idea to put water into the system."

I want her to get it, I want her to understand, but at the same time I need to learn how to check myself. Some times she says things that are rude and hurtful. Like, for example, every Monday is movie night. 

Every Monday after Vanessa finished her homework I get ready. "Hey, one hour, we're leaving." I'd tell her. "Be ready. Okay?"

"Kay." Vanessa would say back as she checks her homework.

 I go upstairs and I overslept. An hour and a half later, Vanessa pounds on my door and I woke up. "Hey, what's up, Vanessa?" I said yawning.

"I thought you said we were leaving in an hour." Vanessa said with attitude. "What happened to an hour? Huh?"

I don't get mad or yell. I just look at her. "Please forgive me, madam." I said in a British accent. "I do apologize. As soon as I am done washing the horses, I will take the chariot to your quarters, madam."

"Why are you talking to me like that?" Vanessa asked all confused.

" I'm speaking to you like this because you're speaking to me like I'm an asshole, madam. And I will not tolerate such language coming from my technical offspring. Would you be needing anything else, madam?"

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going into the room, madam."

"To do what?"

"I am going to defile your father, Vanessa. He's been quite chatty, and someone must put him in his place."

 I stumbled on gold that night. I found out that Vanessa is sensitive about her dad. That's her weak spot and I go for it every single time now. We're watching Taken 2 one night on FX and Alex puts his hand on mine and Vanessa makes the face.

"Ugh..." Vanessa moaned.

"What?" I said.

She points at me. "Rugh..."

"The hand?"

"That's gross, mom."

I smiled. "That's not gross, Vanessa." I look at Alex. "Baby." I said, acting all sexy. I start kissing Alex on the neck and I stare Vanessa down.

"AAAGGGHHH!!!" Vanessa runs out the living room screaming.

 On a Saturday, I'm ironing a shirt I'm going to wear for a wedding and I'm talking to Vanessa about her grades. All of a sudden, the song Fireball by Pitbull comes on and I started dancing. Vanessa starts laughing. It felt good, I was making my daughter laugh. But then she starts pointing like a five year old brat.

"Why are you pointing?" I asked.

"Because, your fat and your boobs are going everywhere." She said mocking my little fate belly.

"Really?" I said. "Well guess what, this fat makes your dad horny." I start mocking her. "And he loves it." What a burn, right?

"AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!" Vanessa runs.

As parents, you want your kid to go to bed by a certain time. Vanessa's cutoff is 11:00. That's pretty late, but she'll try and push it to midnight. She'll go in her room and she thinks she's slik. She takes a towel and she'll put it under the door so I can't see her watching TV. Pretty genius, but hello cover the rest of the stupid door! So in the morning, her alarm goes off. Whole house awake but she's not. So, I get out of bed and I try to wake her.

"Vanessa!" I'd yell. Nothing. So I shake her. "Vanessa, wake up!" She starts eating in her sleep. So, I slowly lay on top of her and I apply my full weight.

"UuuUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!" She finally wakes up, thinking she's being crushed by an elephant. "OH GOD! OH GOD! YOU'RE TOO BIG! YOU'RE TOO BIG!!!"

I get in her face. "That's what your dad said." I whispered.

I talked to Alex while Vanessa was in school that day. He sits me down in the kitchen. "I'm going to tell you something." He said. "Don't get mad. The reason why you and Vanessa are always butting heads, is because you're both the same person."

"We're not the same person." I said.

"The way you two think is the same, how you eat, your mood swings, they're the same."

Vanessa is my stepdaughter, so my boyfriend insisting this. "Hello, I wasn't there at the beginning." I said.

But he insists. "You two are the same."

I started analyzing my life and Vanessa's and I realize that our lives run on these crazy parallels.

© Copyright 2020 Talique Metz. All rights reserved.

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