The apartment

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A new couple move into their new home and believe their land lord might be insane.

Submitted: June 09, 2016

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Submitted: June 09, 2016



June 6, 2016 3:30 in San Diego California, a tall slim 22 year old man walks into a large apartment build with a 5.7 21 year old woman. The apartment was empty, no furneture in the living room or bed room. 

"See, Eliza?" Said the man. "It looks nice."

"Okay, Edwin." Eliza said back. "You got me. I actually like it."

"Who the fuck here?!" Yelled a muscular voice from down the hall.

Eliza and Edwin jump out of thier skin. "Uh, it's Edwin and Eliza." Edwin responded in fright as he and Eliza huddle up. "We're here to check out the house."

From around the corner, a man wearing a dark purple shirt and light blue jeans walks out into the hall and looks at them. "Oh, hey." He said smiling. "How are we? I'm Jahad." He walks up to Edwin and Eliza and shakes their hands.

"Hello." Eliza said.

"Hi." Edwin said, shaking Jahad's hand.

"I'm the land lord around here. If  you guys need anything, I'm right across the hall." Jahad said. "And if anyone tries to break into your house, I will murder them."

Edwin and Eliza exchange frightened glances.

"So, Let's begin the- Get down!" Jahad shouts. Jada drops onto the floor and Eliza and Edwin drop down with him. "Stay low until it's clear." Jahad gets up and walks towards the window and opens it. "Hey! What the fuck are you doing on my preperty?! If you get the fuck out of here, I will murder you!" He shouts to a red car outside. The car speeds off down the street. "That's right! Role on little fucker! Role on!" Jahad closes the window and kneels by Edwin and Eliza. "Sorry about that. That was my nephew David. He just got out of prison. But while we're down here, check out that wooden floor. I just had that renewed before you guys got here. Now, let's check out the kitchen." Jahad walks five feet and into the kitchen and Eliza and Edwin follow. "Check out the kitchen island. I had that installed yesterday after I had to kill some fool for breaking and entering in the apartment and he set this place on fire. You can tell how new the marble looks."

"Nice." Edwin said as he looks at the kitchen island carefully.

"And the oven is electrical." Jahad opens the oven and the smell of road kill fills the air. "Oh god damn! I for got all about that thing!"

"Is that a dead raccoon?" Eliza said in a panic.

"Yeah, sweetheart. I killed it after it climbed through the open window and I stuffed it's body in the oven. I guess I didn't think that through."

"Obviously not!" Edwin yelled.

"I'll take care of it myself before you guys move. I promise you that. Now let's check out the bed room." Jahad walks out the kitchen and starts walking down the hallway. Jahad stops when he sees a hole in the side of the wall. "Ah, shit!" Jahad turns around and faces Edwin and Eliza. "I'm sorry. This happened a week ago when this fool tried to shoot me when I asked him to pay the rent. But don't worry. You won't be seeing him again." Jahad's smile slowly fades away. "Ain't nobody ever. Is going to see him. Again." Edwin and Eliza become more affraid. "Plus I'm going to get a hook and turn it into a nice hat rack. Now let's check out the master bedroom." Jahad opens the door and sees a light skinned homeless man lying in the middle of the room. "What. The. Fuck?!"

The homeless man wakes up quickly and gets into a fighting stance. "Hey, screw off!" He said. "I found this first!"

"Found this?! Man, I own this!" Jahad yelled, slapping himself in the chest. He looks at Edwin and Eliza. "Could you guys excuse me for just a second?" Jahad lunges at the homeless man. "Ragh!"

Eliza and Edwin watch in terror as Jahad wrestles with the homeless man.

"You gonna bite me?" Jahad yelled. The homeless man pushes Eliza and runs down the hall and out the front door. "I'll cut you with my sword cane!" Jahad stops and looks at Edwin as he helps Eliza up. "Okay, so that's $1,500 a month. I'll get your papaer work started." Jahad runs after the homeless man.

Edwin and Eliza stand in the middle of the house as they see Jahad run out the apartment and down the stairs. "Okay, sis." Edwin said. "Let's hit this blunt real quick." Edwin stakes out a roled blunt and lights. He and Eliza starts smoking in the apartment.

© Copyright 2019 Talique Metz. All rights reserved.

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