Detox

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: January 31, 2016

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Submitted: January 31, 2016

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I’ve stopped counting the days
I finally seemed to have lost track of when it was we last spoke
I attribute that to the vodka with a chaser of coke
 
My last words were something along the lines of trying to lure her out to reveal what’s under her cloth
A witch
She can be such a bitch
What spells and potions has she cast upon me that’s got me acting like this
 
Words come out her mouth like daggers that cut me up
I take body shots and rip them out of me and throw them back at my beauty
 
Why is it that when I run towards love, it runs away from me?
But here I am hoping a happy ever after could be something meant for even me
So I found myself still begging for this woman and fighting for us
Because I don’t know what’s in store I just know that I was in love
It was a small window because I only had her attention for seconds
I promised to be better and do better, love her better
The works you know?
I begged and asked her not to let go and she said no
 
Now I lay next to another woman and the emptiness truly sets in and I realize that I rather be alone and all on my own because this is the torture
Now it’s time to face my afflictions
 
When I roll over I hope to see an African Queen but what i see is another woman she is about six shades lighter than you
When I pulled her closer she did not hug my arm like you do so i let go because she was not you and i miss you
When I turned to the other side in bed to give my shoulder a break she did not follow suit and follow me like you do
Because you liked to hold on to me too and then we’d reverse all while asleep
You’d turn and I would follow suit because it’s my turn to hold you
Now, I have to admit that she doesn’t do the things you do
She does not touch me the way you do or know what I like and execute like you do
But I’ve still been dating and doing my one, two because I have too
 
Everyone says to me that you and I were a toxic pair
The main person leading the protesters against us is my mother
And in some ways yes we encountered our kinks but if anybody has anything so say I will always argue that even with kinks we were beautiful because I loved you so much I would have sacrificed everything I had to for us, for you
 
I was happy just basking in your love we had our dark days but when it was good we walked towards the sun
And now it’s over and I have to admit for a moment I did not know what to do without you
I could not figure out how to take the next step, which is starting all the way over
I did not want to stop loving you but your telling me that I have to….
I beg and beg but nothing penetrates this time because her mind is made up
And I’m thinking come wake me up because it can’t be over
 
I’m taken the week off to go find a bottle to drown myself in because I can’t be sober
Call me a drunk, say I’m a lush whatever say I got a problem just point me in the direction of the closest liquor store
I’m self-medicating today so if you got any bud bring that too
I’m counting on the squad to distract me from running back to you and i am putting my little black book up for a little while, because other women just remind me of everything i miss about you
I gotta keep a shred of dignity because fucking around with you I’ll lose it all and myself too
 
So I have to keep it together
It’s like detox but in reverse it’s my emotions that are detoxing from you
So I am taking the week off to go find a bottle to drown myself in because I can’t be sober
Just come wake me up when it’s over
Drinking our memories away
I’ve stopped counting the days
I finally seemed to have lost track of when it was we last spoke
I attribute that to the vodka with a chaser of coke
I’m detoxing
And I’m taking the week off
I will let you know when it’s almost over but for now my heart is in pain and I don’t want to be sober
 


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