I am going to do it yet again
I know I shall be punished
but I cannot stop
The knife, lightly brushing the skin
Back and forth, up and down
A bloody spiderweb appears
Tears come to my eyes
not tears of sadness
but of anger
I need release
I grasp it,
prepare for contact
Then the plunge
It goes deeper and deeper
Right into the depths of my soul
It lingers, for a moment
sucking out all of the darkness inside
I sigh with relief
but I dare not bandage the wounds
For I no longer care
No care for life
For unforgiving family, for so-called friends
For the lies, the decpetion, the trickery
Nothing is left
I curl up under the covers,
fall into a deep slumber
The next day, I look
What have I done?
The pain is gone, leaving only scars behind
of what happened there
A permanent solution to a temporary problem
So I vow
There will be no more cutting
No matter the grief, the anger, the sorrow
But is it that easy?
The answer is no
But I am aware of the consequences
So I make a plan
I will hold no one close
That way they can't hurt me
and more importantly, I can't hurt them
"You always hurt the ones you love"
but what if
there is no one loved?
© Copyright 2017 tamingoftheshroom. All rights reserved.
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