E c h o e s

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Let your voice be heard.

When I'm lonely

I pretend

That I'm a different person

Than who I am now.

That I can

Scream out loud.

That though my voice may never reach

My soul will soar in skies.

That "that" place is a utopia

Where fantasies come true.

A homeland

Where my conscience

Sits in an oasis

Between two mountains.

And yeah, pigs fly.

My body is an earth tone

And my arms are rivers

That my head is a golden sphere

High above the clouds

And my heart is the heart of the land.

When I'm lonely

I pretend

That I'm a different person

Than who I am now.

That I can

Scream out loud.

On paper.

And in words.

And there,

My voice echoes.


Submitted: October 04, 2015

© Copyright 2022 Tangelo. All rights reserved.

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Comments

H. Adams

Ooo, this reminds me of an old Chinese folktale we read in school where an elderly miner became all these things in the world: mountains, clouds, the sun, rivers, the moon, all because he wanted to do more and more things that he couldn't previously do. In the end, he has to move a rock (or mine it) and realizes that he has to revert to his old form as a human. It really stuck with me. There were some words in this that could've benefitted from color (oasis being orange, rivers being blue, mountains brown, maybe 'echoes' could've been multicolored) but I still loved it. Maybe I'm going too far with that. This was a good take on loneliness and I think I've done this too, making yourself into somebody else for enjoyment :p Or maybe not somebody, rather something, like you said in the poem. Could vary from person to person, though. I like the picture you attached for the poem, too. It's like a peaceful little sanctuary. Awesome job Tangey :D

Mon, October 5th, 2015 1:42am

Author
Reply

Haha I've never heard of that one, but it sounds really interesting and relateable now that you mention it. Thanks for suggesting the color; somehow it never crossed my mind to change them in this one. Honestly I just made it all green so it'll match the picture :) Yeah I also realize that there is a lot of stuff out there about loneliness but I kinda liked this one because it's different and I don't do a ton of nature. Thanks again Hanorbi for a thoughtful comment :)

Sun, October 4th, 2015 7:10pm

Melancholic Wisdom

I get what you're saying here. It's like part wishing you were someone else, but I also see it in a way as a potential identity crisis. Maybe that's just me. I like the tranquil title and the green text, it gives off such a peaceful mood but it turns into something else. There's a lot of stuff about loneliness but it's different in a way. Good job Tangey! :D

Mon, October 5th, 2015 3:52am

Author
Reply

Not quite what I meant to say here, but everyone has different opinions, so I'll leave it to that :) The title was most annoying. As I said, I couldn't use it because it was taken, so I ended up putting spaces between the letters. It feels great hearing from you guys again. Glad you liked it!

Mon, October 5th, 2015 4:23am

brucek

i like it cause your stretching yourself here. but one thing i think is strange is that you set it up with saying you pretend you are a different PERSON, and then in the middle you think of yourself as part of NATURE, which i've never thought of as a person. maybe for you it happens in stages, and drift through "person" and eventually to "nature" as a way of coping with loneliness. either way, you sure attack the problem. I just mope.

Mon, October 5th, 2015 4:51pm

Author
Reply

Hmm yeah that's true. You've definitely got a point there; I didn't mean to transition from person to nature, it just turned out that way. I'm thinking right now as to how I can change that to fit, and ugh, it's bothering me. Thanks for pointing it out though, otherwise I probably would have never known :)

Mon, October 5th, 2015 4:17pm

Jack Motley

I liked the extended tick of each line you presented, Tangelo. This piece has a very unique rhythm to it, and it sorta soars from place to place in ways I can't adequately describe. Overall, I enjoyed it immensely. It moved me.

Mon, October 5th, 2015 10:49pm

Author
Reply

Aw thanks, Jack! I had fun writing this one. I'm glad you enjoyed it and found it moving :)

Mon, October 5th, 2015 4:21pm

Mist James

The imagery is very profound. The purity of the hearts desire to be something more is transcendent speaking to all. Really enjoyed reading this. Thank you.

Thu, November 26th, 2015 6:19pm

Author
Reply

You're welcome! Glad you enjoyed and understood the meaning. I appreciate your time and support :)

Thu, November 26th, 2015 1:57pm

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