I challenge but my limits
Every single day
I listen to but myself, though,
Never to what I say.
*
Therel's no difference between forfeit
And wanting to slay,
The spirit inside of me that
Charred a hole in my way.
*
Keep these feelings smothered
They simply need to stay.
No need to tell the world,
And a waste to sit and pray.
*
Because when I burn
Oh, I want to pull away
And these scorch marks
Are the price I, consequently, pay.
*
A long fight this has become,
Left nothing to bay,
But a pile of ashes
Where my still beating heart lay.
Submitted: August 07, 2015
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Comments
I can relate to this poem a lot. I like the rhyming and it flows really well. I liked it. You're really talented. Keep up the good work!
Sat, August 29th, 2015 12:42amWriting about and describing emotions is the driving force behind most poetry, and the precision of language will always be at odds with the intangibility of feelings. Hence the use of rhythm and pace, as well as words, combine to get the emotions across. You have a great sense of pace, but you should experiment with more free verse instead of always rhyming. I think you would find the freedom liberating and enlightening. I am going to enjoy watching you evolve as a writer!
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H. Adams
Gorgeous poem. Pretty relatable for people having the same problem. I like the rhyming job you did here and the flow was great as usual. Awesome work!
Sat, August 8th, 2015 4:11amAuthor
Reply
Thank you!
Sat, August 8th, 2015 6:38am