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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Insight on the life of a Loner


My name is Ephram. But that is irrelevant. In fact I am irrelevant. If you think about it logically, if all you do is wake up, eat, go to school, eat and then go to bed everyday, your life is irrelevant too. I am not an interesting person. My parents didn’t do me any favors when they had me. I was an accident. I am unwanted. I only have 1 friend and he is a lousy friend at that. I tell Wallace everything but he doesn’t say much back, He costs me 3 a day just to feed. Useless, incredibly useless.

I hate the bus. It’s so loud, people are loud. I’m not loud, but I’m irrelevant. I hate taking the bus. It’s gloomy today, gloomy and loud.

I have memorized the patterns on the sidewalk from the bus to the school. The sun doesn’t shine for me anyways. Plus, it’s gloomy today. There is no excitement in going to school. I take my time, taking up valuable sidewalk space. I am an annoyance to the people behind me. I get pushed around a lot, and at least once a day I fall from being shoved. I see it coming, but I am an accident and therefore prone to accidents.

School isn’t difficult. But I don’t pay attention. My school is small, so they don’t have time for me. Not that they would spend any time on me anyways. I don’t see why they would. They don’t want me to succeed. My parents told them that I was an accident and now they think I am irrelevant to. It’s nice. They don’t expect anything from me.

She doesn’t even talk to me. Why would she? I know she thinks I am crazy. I can see it. I have memorized the looks on people’s faces when they think I am crazy. I get it a lot. But she is beautiful. I would be surprised if I found anything that could compare to her. Lisa is too smart for me anyways. Mom always told me to aim low; because I was a mistake she told me I don’t deserve the best. Save the best for people that were planned, she always said. That is one thing that I totally agree with. I don’t deserve Lisa. I saw her looking at me once that was the first and last time she ever did. I saw the sparkle in her eye and then my reflection. What an awful reflection. No wonder she hasn’t looked at me again. She sits beside me in English; maybe that’s why I like English. I should just drop out, maybe she would like it more.

I hate the bus. The bus driver makes me sit by him. He says he likes talking to me. I think he is lying. I am an unwanted mistake, why would someone want to talk to me.

Poor Wallace. He spends all day by himself, and then upon my arrival I have nothing interesting to say. I never have anything interesting to say. No wonder he hasn’t said anything back. Why would he waste his time responding to me? I don’t think he cares about the new bruise I have accumulated from being pushed around. Why would he? Plus I don’t clean his tank. He is always mad at me for that. He is a lonely fish. I don’t help his situation either. He probably thinks he is unwanted. We make a good pair.

I almost missed the bus. It’s going to be a bad day. It’s overcast. Perfect. It’s loud on the bus again. Usually I am left alone in the mornings. But today he had to tell me about his son’s baseball game. I hate baseball, but he doesn’t know that, and I don’t think he cares either. I bet he hates baseball himself, and he is just punishing me. I bet mom told him about how I was unwanted and how I was a mistake. She likes doing that. Good for her. The bus driver reminds me of a pig. Obnoxious. I feel bad for his wife. He is lucky. I will never have a wife. I will probably end up looking like him, where all I will do is sit at home with Wallace, being obnoxious.

People are particularly pushy today. Here he comes. And there I go, my stuff all over the place. People are yelling at me. I deserve this. I deserve all of it. Why do I have so much stuff anyway? I don’t even know why they give me text books. They don’t expect me to read them anyways. I like it that way. I just so happen to pass. So reading the text books would just be irrelevant.

What a way to start my day. I forgot about the English quiz. Not that it makes a difference. He still handed me the quiz. I thought I would surprise him by drawing him a picture to show my appreciation for the book. I got 1/10 for creativity, Lisa got 10/10. I don’t think anyone noticed. People don’t notice things like they used to. But I did. She is so smart. I should have read the book to show her that I am smart.I didn’t think of that. I would get the same mark whether I read it or not. I could have impressed her anyways. Useless, I am incredibly useless.

I don’t see why people dislike like me. All I do is mind my own business. I like it when people mind there own business. I don’t see the difference. Except that I don’t matter. Mistakes are just annoying anyways.The side walk provides me with more entertainment. I don’t pay attention to them. So I don’t blame them for not liking me. Stupid people just get in my way. I always have a clear path from the school to the bus, they always move. So why is some one in my way? I was just about to the point where the sidewalk gets more interesting. Great, way to go Ephram. You have bumped into the school’s top choice freaks. I don’t see why people think they are cool or anything. But hey, what a way to end my day. Why is he even talking to me? Pointing at Lisa and then yelling at me. I hope he knows I am not listening. I never listen. He should know that… Maybe that wasn’t a good idea. I guess I should have listened. Here comes his fist, this doesn’t look pleasant. I think I forgot to feed Wallace. That’s why this is happening to me. I deserve this. There he goes. His face looks rather screwed up. I guess he gets that way when he punches things. Mmm, that hurt. The ground is so hard. I guess I deserve that too. If I had fed Wallace maybe I would have fell on the grass. Poor Wallace, I am just not thoughtful. Why would I be thoughtful? I am useless; it’s just the way I was made to be. I am a useless friend. It’s nice to see people laugh at my expense. My parents would be proud. I guess Lisa is safe now. They were satisfied with just hitting me. That’s nice of them, I feel like such a mistake today.

What’s she doing? Does she know that I am not dead? I wish I was. Or is she crying because I am so close to being dead? No, not that. She is talking to me now. She has a beautiful voice. She is just beautiful, why is she crying over me. Ugh, my blood isn’t worth the expense of her sweater. Why is she doing this? Cleaning me up. Everything is getting a little dark. My nose hurts. Man I am tired. I can’t get up. I am so useless. I must look like a freak. I am a freak. Mom’s going to kill me for the blood stains. Black is a nice colour, it’s all going black.

My nose hurts. What happened to me? Man I am useless. I didn’t even change out of my bloody clothes before bed. It’s rather sunny today. Damn, I forgot to feed Wallace yesterday. He must be hungry. He looks good with the sun reflecting off his scales. Oh the time! I am going to be late! Perfect, what a perfect day. But hey, I am a mistake, what else should I expect.

Back to my daily routine. Off the bus and anticipating to be shoved around, I’m always pushed around…Today is a weird day. I made it into the school. Weird, sunny and weird.

Submitted: February 17, 2009

© Copyright 2021 Tanis Joy. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:



Wow that was interesting. Talk about low self-esteem. Poor Ephram and Wallace. I hope he gets fed today :)

Tue, February 17th, 2009 5:48pm


i was referred to counseling for this one

Tue, February 17th, 2009 5:53pm

Gift Of Noni


You're probably not the first great writer to be "referred to counciling". I think this is very well written and incredibly interesting.

No one knows what takes place in the school age mind. What the hell do they think goes on in there sunshine and rainbows? Ephram is probably closer to the norm than actually being a freak.

The additional analogy of Wallace being "trapped" in his existence is also perfect.

I'm deffinately not the spelling police (I Can't spell) but I did notice you used the word "to" in several places where it should have been "too"

I think you are a real promising writer.


Sun, March 1st, 2009 3:34am


there is a reason why my second favorite book is the dictionary.
i am a terrible speller. but thanks i will look into that

Sat, February 28th, 2009 7:42pm


I feel this way a lot X.X

Mon, March 9th, 2009 12:33am


i think i am done with that phase. took 3 years to get out of it though

Sun, March 8th, 2009 5:37pm


there's one place where you use "to" instead of "too." but that's all i caught :P other than that, really nice. somewhat depressing, but nice ^_^ the bored and meager emotion is consistent (unlike mine lol xD)

Mon, March 9th, 2009 2:25am


i try.
if you tell me what line i said the wrong word that would be nice. i looked over it once. but i almost have it memorized so i tend to skim.

Sun, March 8th, 2009 7:29pm


tis in the third line of the first paragraph :P

Mon, March 9th, 2009 2:31am



Sun, March 8th, 2009 7:33pm

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