Steve Regrets

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a very raw piece of writing that I have been adding to for weeks .It is probably not very good but I decided to publish it anyway just to see how you think of it .Warning it is very long and storyish (if that is a word) .

Anyway read and enjoy or think I am weird whatever goes

This doesn't really have a title either

Submitted: December 08, 2011

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Submitted: December 08, 2011

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The room was filled with the smell of sex and blood.

For he was her first, the first to enter the centre of her

The first to take her up the staircase

The one towards what we on earth call heaven.

 

He now steams under the shower,

Trying to be clean of her,

 Trying to wash of the memory of what he has done.

Taken innocence

 He is sure she is sobbing in the other room.

For he was not to be the one to take her,

To pierce her

Take away the piece of childhood

That still remained

This was not to be his privilege

This was to be another man

One who did not have obligations to another

Woman

 

Guilt hangs thick in the air

Like winter does at the closing of summer

Unwanted but necessary 

It was lust he felt for her

Love was not something he could feel for the young thing

With the glittering eyes

 

He is sure that when he sees her next the glitter will have dulled

As that special kind of innocence has been lost

She will appear old to him

Not the young thing that tugged on his hand and gazed into him

“Be mine she smiled “

“We are strangers but I feel as If I have known you forever “

It was a crush he knows

Something for the school halls

Or kept private in a diary

For he is not the type of guy ‘normal’ girls fantasise about

That honour is for the stars of vampire love romance and

Teenybobbers

Not grown men

Wandering in tight leather pants

On the Disney channel

(Who watches that anyway?)

But her smile confirmed that her crush was him

And he felt like he had an obligation to the girl

To rid her of the thing she says

“Brings her shame”

Oh he knew it was wrong

But he pressed the leather against her

And his lips left the face they normally fell upon

He left his body and fell into her

 

Now he steams beneath the shower spray

Regretting

Knowing he will have to comfort the girl

Drive her home and deposit her on the doorstep of her mummy’s home

He should have told her to wait

That there is no shame

In doing so

But he was overcome with lust for the young thing

The insistence and sparkling in her eyes

Oh he must tell her (his wife what he has done)

Shame it is

Shame on his head

But he must not blame the girl

For it was his lust that drove him to this

 

She was just confused

A lost lamb

A little Lolita maybe

But the clothes she wore wear simple enough

She did not dress provocatively or so he did not believe 

If so it was not this that drove him

Towards her

And brought the swell in the tight leather

No it was her charm

Smiles and those

Eyes

So filled with light

Laughter

Child-like

Yet there was something so adult like in the way she held his palm

And led him to the bed

Oh maybe he forgot himself

His morals for a second

As he leapt into the arms of another

 

He does not expect remorse

Or forgiveness

The girl will surely hate him as much as his wife

For he has stolen something precious

And she will regret

It being taken by someone she does not love

 

He removes

Himself from the shower

Dresses and readies himself

 To see the girl

She is smiling

But he sees there is pain there

Hidden

But still there

I want to go home she whimpers

And suddenly he is very ashamed

Take me home

I feel so lost

Maybe what we did was a mistake

The tears begin to show

What I had was something for school books

Little hearts with your name inside

Because of me you will be brought to shame

Loose a wife

Your dignity

They will not blame me

A little lost lamb they will say

Confused

Or someone who is searching

For that “father figure”

I will not be labelled

A minx

Or a home-wrecker

For they will see it as you

Who drove me on?

A cradle snatcher

A trickster

Dirty, Dirty, Dirty

They we label you

It is I who should be

Kicked through the stones

Dragged through the thorns

Not you

 

Hanging his head he

Slowly leads her from the room

Lingering with sex and blood

Old emotions and whispers

That was all lies

The fresh air is a relief

From the burning guilt of that room

Wind slowly rushing the lingering pain away

Though only on the surface

 

Two blocks down he drops her

Afraid to face her mother  

Sure that if she will see the mark he has left

Upon her baby daughter

Sure he will be blamed and the secret spoken

Why did he let the swell take his mind?

Send his morals down the drain

To the place of old hair and ugliness

A place of bad men

Those whose hands stray

He was never this

Yet the young girl the one with the glittering eyes

Like rubies, pearls any precious jewel

Every cliché

Sent him to this place

(No he must not blame her)

She did no wrong

When he leaves her he feels a tug at his heart and the chain breaking

Slowly crumbling

And he knows that it will remain in his system for long

Not to be flushed out easily

He has grown to the girl

Like a father

He feels protective

And he knows that the bond formed this

The one they shared in the dirty hours

He will not forget

 

Driving away

He knows no secret will spilled

At least not by the girl

Her mouth will remain sealed as if by stitches

His secret will be safe with her

Though his wife needs to now his hands strayed

His eyes

Though his heart remains true to her

The girl was not a thieve of that

Though he feels some pull to her now

Some unnatural need to protect the one

He has recently damaged


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