As I Lay Pukeing

Reads: 325  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 1

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
trying to self destruct is a hard job

Submitted: December 22, 2008

A A A | A A A

Submitted: December 22, 2008

A A A

A A A


How often do I do that to myself I thought.
Not often. The breeze that rustled through the empty trees met me head on in a last attempt to snap me out of a quiet rage. It didn’t work. I did my poor attempt at skating back and forward in the parking lot of the Christian church in back of my house, trying hard not to vomit from the cigarette I was forcing myself to smoke.
GODDAMN IT!
The sound of the pavement under me as I rode it, the roar of the trucks passing by, my heart beating in my chest like a wild fuckin ape, the cringe on my face. I didn’t even know how to beat myself up properly. I pushed harder up and down the same strip of asphalt. I wasn’t even sure why I was mad. The emotions in my body had been let out recently, to run amok inside me. I guess I hadn’t notice so I had let them gain momentum. Anger would show up uninvited as im trying to have goddamn tea with contempt, or nervous energy would crash while im at peace with depression! Laughter would interrupt pain, and joy would come in in the middle of rage. I just let them do what they wanted being the sort of person that didn’t like confrontation.
I threw myself down on the pavement. I breathed fast, I panted, I hurt. I was so goddamn out of shape, what happen to me? This was the best I could do. The only thing. I wasn’t the sort of person that would cry in front of a mirror and cut myself in strategic little places were some one could notice, but they would be “hidden”, no that wasn’t me. I destroyed myself in a different way, smoking while do strenuous activity. I was so lame. I sat up and puked to the side of me.


© Copyright 2020 Tatiana Vilchis. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

Comments

More Flash Fiction Miscellaneous