Rahul’s Interview

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Story of a job seeker, who is continuously facing horrible bosses.

Submitted: December 23, 2019

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Submitted: December 23, 2019

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(1)

“Mr. Rahul, You impressed us. We like you”
- Thank you, sir.
“You studied in a poor government funded university, not from any elite private university. Your academic results, though fairly standard, but your out-knowledge is outstanding.”
- Okay, sir.
“Tell us, how much salary do you want?” The age of this man of interview board may be ten years older than me. Soft smell of chewing gum is coming out from his mouth.
- Ten thousand dollars sir.
(All three of interview board exchanged glance between them. One woman, two men. One of the two men is probably short. As he is sitting on a chair, I could not understand clearly.)
“Our budget, however, is three thousand dollars. At the very beginning, ten thousand is too much.”
- Coming from that far is quite a hassle, sir. The traffic jam will take four hours in transport. And ...
“but our other facilities are quite good” Madam's voice is sweet, she has used excessive makeup. Probably she is 45.
-What kind of facilities madam?
“In our office, you can use Internet for browsing Facebook and watch the news of stock market in website. You need to complete your main official duty, that’s it. We pay 30% of lunch bills. Two bonuses every year. If someone gets married, we give a television as gift. If anyone wants to quit job we don't lock payment ........... ”
- Wait a minute! What did you say before Madame?
“We do not withhold salary if anyone wants to quit the job”
- No, the earlier. The matter of marriage?
“When someone gets married, we give a television for our employee as wedding gift.” Short boss replied now. There is a spark of happiness in his face.
- I have a question, sir.
“Sure.”
- If I divorce my wife and marry another girl, will you give me television again? How many times in a lifetime will this opportunity be available?
“What a terrible plan! Man, are you British?”

 

 

(2)

“Mr. Rahul, You impressed us. We like you”
- Thank you, sir.
“You are permanent in Dhaka. Aren't you?”  The office does not have air conditioning, the furniture looks too old. General Manager is taking the interview.  He has a fat body.
- Yes, sir.
“Your family home?” I started to think about the question, why do I need a house for a receptionist job? Although at this type of crisis moment, whatever job I get, I will take it.
- Yes, sir.
“That's why I like you. But the rules of our company are very strict. All the staffs must deposit security money during the job because we have all valuable furnitures and gadgets in our entire office.” I again looked at old furnitures.
- Really? How much will be my salary, and how much is the security?
“We will you pay eight hundred dollars per month, and you have to keep Ninety thousand dollars as security. If you quit your job you will get it back. But you will not be able to leave job before three years.”
- Seriously? Sir, will you give me the bank interest when I keep that money in your company’s bank account?
“Why should we give that to you?” GM looked bothered.
- Many banks or financial institutions offer 6% interest rate. If you deposit Ninety thousand dollars as security, then the monthly interest will be four hundred and fifty dollars. You will pay eight hundred. Then the actual salary is three hundred and fifty dollars only. Isn't it, sir?
“Look, I don't like talkative stuff like you. If you don't do the job, then leave. Millions of boys and girls are unemployed. We are not touching your feet.”
- I also did not touch your feet for the job. You should find a stupid to offer this type of job. Bye.

 

 

(3)

“Mr. Rahul, You impressed us. We like you”
- Thanks Madam.
“I don't understand just one thing. We wrote in the circular to give reference of two famous people who are relatives of you or somehow known to you.” I see three beautiful corporate-look women on the interview board. All three are watching my CV.
- I did. I have given the names of the two relatives in reference.
“Yes. But one of the is Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia, another one is Donald Trump, the American President. They are your relatives?”
- Yes.
“How?”
- All of our ancestors are Adam-Eve. That is why the whole mankind is my relative. So both Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump are my relatives.
“We like your smart answer.” Three of them first exchanged glance. But the woman in the middle talked. The other two are silent. She is  like thirty. She is beautiful, but the eyebrow is probably plucked.
- When should I join?
“There are only two small problems.”
- What’s that?
“You have to give a reference of a really important relative, it is very important to us. Your smart answer is not working. And the second problem is, we don’t allow anyone without experience. So you are not getting job.”
- It could have been written on the ad of job. I came here from far long. Upon arriving here, the receptionist told us to write down the references of two famous people with a pen on the CV. There are too many people sitting outside. And I don't understand. It's an entry-level job, why do you need experience here?
“Why not? tell me!”
- How could a person gathers experience if he or she never worked before? When someone gets promotion to mid-level, or switches somewhere else, experience is required. Why are you asking for experience at the beginning of my life?
“I don't want to understand. This is my life policy. I will not hire anyone in my office without experience. This is the final decision. My father is the owner of this company, and I am the CEO, so I can do anything here.” I clearly understood that, this lady is the top boss of the office. The other two are older but stuff only. Is this top boss married? I need to know.
- Oh! Madam, are you married?
“Why?”
- Are you looking for an experienced husband for you? Anyone married twice or once before? We have someone like this in our neighborhood. He is a local shoe maker, Mr. John. He is looking for a virgin girl for his fifth marriage. Should I give him a call?
“Why are you talking nonsense?”
- When did I say nonsense? I respect your wishes. Or, you can also ask your younger sisters, if there any. Or if you become mother in future, then you can tale your daughter to marry ‘experienced’ guys.
“Out! Get away!”
- Ok! Goodbye However, you have my number on my CV. If you agree to marry the shoemaker, just give me a call. I will be the matchmaker without any service charge.

 

 

(4)
 
“Mr. Rahul, You impressed us. We like you”
- Thanks sir.
“If I call you dude or bro, will that be a problem?”
- No, sir.
“In our office, we are too liberal. You will call me bro, not sir. Okay? This is the rule of our office.”
- Okay sir. Sorry, bro.
“You have master’s degree in Political Science. Very good. But we value the out-knowledge here too much, not the academic certificate. Do you read daily newspapers on regular basis?”
- I read newspapers regularly since my childhood. A long ago, I was used to read printed newspaper. But now I read the online version.
“Good! Do you read storybooks?”
- Yes, regularly.
“Which one you are reading right now?”
- The Hellfire Club by Jake Tapper.
“Who are your favorite writers?”
- Alistair MacLean, Robert Ludlum, James Headley Chase, Wilber Smith, Clive Cussler, Frederick Forsyth.
“All of these writers are spy thriller writers. Excellent. Do you have read the books of Stephen King?”
- Yes.
“Have you read all the books of Dan Brown?”
- Yes. I have read. Big brother, I'm actually a serious type reader. I have eaten, and then flushed all the English literature. In my student life, I hid paperbacks at the time of reading text books to fool my mother's eye. That is why my academic results were not always good. If I could, I would sit in the commode and read a story book. My current washroom does not have adequate space to do this. However, if we re-build our house in future, I will arrange a side table or holder to keep books. There is no necessity to waste fifteen minutes inside. I want to do the both.
“Oh! After a long time I have found my brother from another mother. I have never seen your type serious reader. I am a serious reader too. I attached Algebra formulas in my latrine’s wall when I was a student. Well, come on, let's go for a little deeper. ........... Analyze some characters from Tony Morrison's novel.”
- Brother, Tony ..... I mean .... I didn't hear the name of this person in my entire life.
“You said a little earlier that you have eaten, and then flushed away all the English literature. If you could, you would read books sitting on commode. And you haven't heard Tony Morrison's name. What do you mean?”
- What is the problem?
“She got the Nobel Prize in Literature, and what do you mean by ‘What is the Problem?’, tell me.”
- Let me explain.The world's largest library is the 'Library of Congress', where they have thirty five million books. If a man learns to speak and read books just after birth, then if he reads one book every day, he will be able to read 365 books in a year. 3,650 books in ten years. If he lives for hundred years, he will read 36,500 books. If anyone reads 3 books each day for hundred years, he or she will be able to read average one hundred thousand books. It would not be possible to read thirty four million nine hundred thousand books among thirty five million books. The author’s name that you have just told me, are in the list of thirty four million nine hundred thousand 'unread books'.

(Total silence all around except the dimming sound of the air conditioner.)


© Copyright 2020 Tawhidur Rahman Dear. All rights reserved.

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