Dear Blank

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
I wrote this after a bad breakup. A letter to my ex, but never had the guts to actually send it to him.
It's kind of long.. hope you don't mind

Submitted: August 21, 2011

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Submitted: August 21, 2011

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Dear Blank,

Hmm, where do I behin.

I have so many things to say right now,

hoping it'll make it easier just to get everything out.

All I'm asking is to read carefully with every line.

Because I realize the only way I can say what I need to say is if I make it rhyme.

Okay, it is true.

You don't know what you had til it's lost.

All this time, I refused to believe someone could have such an effect on me,

because I always deny the cause.

So if I haven't told you already,

then I guess I should tell you now.

I liked you so much more than I had planned,

but unfortunately, you shut me down.

By not telling me what's really at hand, instead, you leave without a sound.

And here I am, back where I began.

Refusing to believe we came all this way just to turn right back around.

It's been the longest two months since you decided what we had wasn't true.

So how can you change your mind, lead me on, and do the things you do?

This situation was wrong on so many levels.

You can't just say things you don't mean because life is too hard to handle.

I know you rehearsed the lines

and I know I saw it coming.

So for why, even for a split second, did I believe you wouldn't keep running?

But you don't get it, regardless if you went across the world,

it'll never nev far enough.

Because you left footsteps where you ran, right here..

where your heart once was.

It's a shame, we were so close to something,

but now I'm scared to death.

Because the only thing I had to lose

is right where I left it.

I'm still waiting patiently,

wondering if you'll ever give it back.

Hoping that the good things in you never packed up and left too.

Gone.. just like that.

Just like the rest of you.

And I know it's hard, but don't let your pride get the best of you.

Because the one day when you feel like no one cares,

Just call my name, and I'll be there.

I'll meet you on your doorstep like the night we first met.

Don't let yourslf forget..

I know I haven't.

You can say all you want that you didn't want me,

that you found someone new, and she's the one who can truly make you happy.

But I swear, there was a time before that I heard the same thing.

Was it true? Or was the all fake too?

There's only so much I can take from you.

Sometimes I think the only reason I want you is because you're no longer mine.

So maybe if you came back to me, I could make up my mind.

Yeah, that's right, say you want me so I can decide.

But then I'd be just like you..

Wouldn't I?

And how can't you see?

You hurt me with your crass.

All my temporary moments of self-esteem your ego had crashed.

All your rain clouds and careless actions drowned me so fast.

You couldn't cut me off any quicker.

We skipped so many steps that I didn't get the chance

to try to believe that what we had could last.

And no, I can't put it in my past; start a new again.

Because the moment I feel happy,

I look back and realize that you're the only solution.

It's so easy to deny it

but that just makes it harder on myself.

And yes, you can't take back what was said.

But we can put it on a shelf.

Although I'll never forget how low you made me feel; the things you can't undo.

I can always get over that,

because it'd be much harder trying to forget you.

I guess i sound pathetic.

I don't expect you to change your mind with these words that I've shed.

Actually, I don't even expect a reply..

to be totally honest.

Speaking of honesty, I'm not saying that you lied to me,

but did you ever stop to think that maybe, possibly, you've been lying to yourself this whole time?

Could it be that your feelings really did change, then I wouldn't be too surprised.

I couldn't feel a thing anymore,

so in order to feel, I just started a fight.

They say war is not the answer,

but sometimes it's a battle just to keep the peace.

Thus, my anger and jealously brought out the worst in me..

A person I've never seen.

But hey, perhaps someday I'll reach the point where I can't take no more.

The point where I finally accept your feelings, though they're so hard to ignore.

But say that is the case, then I'd at least want to be friends it I had to choose.

And coincedentally now, the rain is starting to pour as I'm writing this out to you.

What I'm trying to say is I'm holding onto the pain because it's all I have left.

Subconsciously I now realize I don't have to, I have a decision.

One is everything I ever wanted and the other is a heavy dousage.

But if i have to, then I guess I'll just man up and swallow it.

I don't know about you, but I don't want it to rain anymore.

I just want things back to how they were before,

When you only wanted me, the girl I used to be.

But now it's too late. you already hate her.

(I really hope that's not true)

Sincerely, Taylor


© Copyright 2019 TayMarion. All rights reserved.

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