Bed Bites Back

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Simple observations

Submitted: January 15, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: January 15, 2012




Bed Bites Back


As I stirred, I could feel the warm sun caressing my face

It had been a good night out with the lads

Enough to be merry but no trace of a hangover

I blinked my eyes and was ready for some breakfast

But as I tried to get up, I couldn't, very odd

My head was fine and no problems with my arms

I could wriggle my feet and raise my left leg

Strange but my right leg resisted, although it felt fine

Then I realised that I couldn't lift my bum

Was I dreaming, surely this wasn't true

So I tried again but with the same result

With some trepidation I slowly moved my hand towards my buttocks

The left one could move but not the right

Upon closer inspection, it appeared

My right buttock was stuck to the bed

To be more precise, the bed was stuck to my buttock

But not in an icky sticky way, oh no, even worse

Cool cold steel was the cause of my distress

With clear thought, I finally realised

That a spring had broken and penetrated the mattress

Embedding itself into my soft flesh

Embarrassment was quickly replaced with panic

As my jiggling around was having no effect

Reluctantly, I called out to mum and dad

No response at first but then an enquiring voice

Come up here please I need some help

So up they came, first mum and then dad

To inspect the dilemma and try not to laugh

There are some things a teenager should never face

After a short while, they came to the same conclusion

Son, there's no other choice, it's the hacksaw we need

My heart and mind were galloping in unison

A cold sweat started pumping like never before

With little fuss and some good humour

They worked together to make the separation

Then mum removed the remaining bit with some pliers

My fright, shame and relief were obvious to see

Never mind son, no real harm done, it could have been worse

Just think if you slept on your stomach

Even now, the thought brings tears to my eyes

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