The Wyrd Sisters - The Dirty Pair

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

The God Machine is no more and the multiverse and all save 3 of its inhabitants are dead. It's now up to the Sisters of Wyrd to put the fabric of space-time back together. But before that can happen they must find a way out of No Where.

[One is None and All is One and nothing is fair in Delirium.]

“So this is how they ended it hunh, Gehrig?” Nazareth said to her sister as she walked out the two-story house, that was the physical manifestation of their childhood home on Mars 2112, and unto the porch.

She looked down at her dirty pair of boots that were covered in the debris of the sunflower fields that she and her sister had found themselve trapped in when reality came to an end. There was a fragment of time before they arrived here in No Where when she an her sister Gehrig had to literally hold themselves together by their bootstraps as reality collieded in upon itself around them.

"The Dirty Pair..." She'd thought to herself.

"The last survivors of the multiverse!" She said aloud.

“Yeah,  it seems so...” Gehrig said trailing off.

“So what are we going to do Naz?” Gehrig asked her temporal sibling.

“I don’t know to be honest. It’s not like we have somewhere better to be. I mean, it’s not like we can just get up and go...anywhere!!!”  She said frustrated.

“After Mom and Dad left us stranded in the Sunflower Fields*, we just ended up here. “ She said.

“Where ever here is...” She continued.

“Don’t play stupid with me. We’re both 57th level intellects and you’re actually a little smarter than me. You know exactly where we are.” G said.

And you know that the Sunflower Fields were just a physical manifestation of Mom’s fractured mind that was imploding in on itself and taking the Multi-verse with it.” Gehrig quipped.

"It's a wonder she was able to put together anything physical at all seeing as how there was no quantum backend to maintain it." G continued.

“Yeah..I know. I guess it’s just easier to pretend that...I don’t know. That we are trapped inside a Quantum Bubble literally stuck nowhere as we watch the Universe trying to pull itself back together after our parents destroyed it in history's most epic case of  domestic violence." Naz blurted.

"Mom was always the queen of formulating workarounds." Naz said. 

Just then a bicycle bell rang in the distance.  As I looked into the gray fog that surrounded us a postman appeared on a bicycle. He had a package attached to the back of his 1950’s styled Schwinn bicycle. G stared at him as he sort of sauntered toward the twins as they sat on the porch of a house on the edge of nowhere.  He had no face from what she could tell.

No that's not it...It's not that he had no face but rather every face. Every face of every being that had ever existed was scrolling across the surface of his face; kinda like a wall projector. It was like nothing they had ever seen. 

The twins simultaneously got up to greet the mailman as he pulled up to the porch and got off his Schwinn bicycle. 

"Delivery!" he said musically.
He was dressed in 1950s mailman attire. The twins felt strangely out of place whenever they looked at him. 

"What are you delivering?" They asked in unison.

Nazareth couldn't take her eyes off of his face, or rather the lack thereof, so much so that she started reaching out to touch it. 

Gehrig checked her sister with a stern elbow to the ribs.

"Oww...what?!?!? It looks cool." Nas said nursing her ribs. 

"You're being rude!" G said sharply.

"But...It's just not faces but places and events too." Nas said in her defense. 

"You're being rude. " G said sharply; her voice suddenly taking a motherly tone. 

"I apologize for my sister's lack of...etiquette." She said smiling oddly. 

"But the multiverse has been destroyed and we thought ourselves the only survivors." She continued.

"Oh, it's ok. I get it all the time." He said happily. 

"So what d'ya have there?" Nas asked

"Is it porn? Or maybe a Rhi'zarian male or a companion bot." She said curiously. 

G gave her sister stern look.

“Whhhhaaattt?!?!? We’re the last two beings in the entire multi-verse and you’re telling me that sex didn’t cross your mind at least once...yeah...ok.” Nas said wryly.

G made a gesture to elbow her again and Nas promptly shut up. 

"Why it's the latest upgrade of course." The mailman said as he reached for the package. 

"From Tillage!" He continued. 

"But I thought Tillage was destroyed along with everything else." G said. 

"Well of course it was." He said. 

"I don't get it..." Nas stated. 

"What don't you get?" He asked. 

"How can we be getting a package from a place that no longer exists?" G asked. 

"You two are the 58th level intellects you tell me..."He said. 

"57th..." They corrected. 

"Yes of course..." he said. 

"So you two are under the assumption that if you destroy something that that thing no longer exists?" He asked.

"Well yeah..." G said. 

The mailman laughed at her answer. And then gave the small box to Nazareth who had started to reach for his face again. 

He then pulled out a signature pad and a pen. 

"Nazareth...cut it out!" G growled. 

"You know his face has a quantum-temporal singularity running through it. If you touch it you'll be lost in a quasi-time loop while literally stuck at the edge NoWhere. Do y’know how hard it’ll be for me to get you out of that kinda mess without my equipment?

"But...It' pretty...tho..." Nas responded in a daze; her eyes wide with curiosity.

“Well now I guess the three of you can work at getting everything running back on track!” He said with mirth as he moved his face out of reach of Nazareth’s curious hands.

Three of us...?” G queried oddly.

“What are you talking about?” She continued.

“Why, you and your two sisters.” He stated flatly.

“But there’s only the two of us here.” Nas said.

“Is that so?” He queried.

“That’s Wyrd!” He said oddly.

“I guess I must be mistaken.” He said.

“Well that makes no sense. It makes you wonder who sent you the package from Tillage then.”

“Oh well, that’s none of my concern anyways.” He continued.

“Best be on my ways.” He said. Then he promptly hopped onto his Schwinn and pedaled lazily away.

The twins stared at him as he disappeared back into the grey fog of nothingness; intermittently ringing his bicycle bell.

Once he was gone G ripped open the package as Nazareth looked over her shoulder in child-like anticipation. In the box were two chain necklaces each with its own pendant, each pendant containing a universe. And a note on a small card that said:

“Meet me at the arboretum on Tillage in a Martian hour! Oh, and bring

me the leftover Chicken Parm Sandwich out the fridge. I’m fucking

starving! Putting the multi-verse back together is hard work, especially

on an empty stomach. 


Love Big Sis.


P.S. “Don’t forget the key...and Triscuit!”


Gehrig turned the card over and taped to the back was a small key made of dark matter.

“OoooKaaaayyy...” She said as she turned to her sister.

“Well we have the key, but what the fuck is a Triscuit?” She continued.

Just then something meowed. Nazareth looked down and a tiny white kitten with patches of brownish-orange fur about his head and striped tail of the same odd color sat at her bare feet.

“I think this little guy would be him.” Nas said sweetly as she pick him up and nuzzled the kitten under her chin. Triscuit purred as she did so.

“You’re such a good boy, hunh Triscuit!” She said.

 “So what are we supposed to do with a key and a kitten?” Gehrig pondered.

“You’re Mommy’s little Lucifer, hunh, yes you are...with fur all made of anti-matter!!!”She continued as she smiled at her new pet.

“...With fur made of WHAT???” G asked turning to her sister.

“Anti-matter...” Nas said with a devilish innocence.

“And you have a key made of dark matter...” She continued.

“And what happens when dark matter and anti-matter collide?” G asked.

“Total annihilation of everything in existence...” Nas replied.

“But if everything is already destroyed then what happens?” G asked.

The twins looked at each other with devilish glee in their eyes.

“You create tears in space-time but since that no longer exists then the tear would be a portal guided by the power of thought.” The twins spouted in unison.

The twins faced each other as Gehrig held up her key and Nazareth held up Triscuit kissing him on his head.

“You ready to meet the third member of our triad?” G asked smiling.

“Who’s being coy now?” Nas stated.

“She’s the last member of our Trinity. And yes I am.” Nas replied.

Gehrig swiped the key through Triscuit’s fur and the Dirty Pair vanished from NoWhere!

Submitted: November 05, 2015

© Copyright 2021 Ted Gerard. All rights reserved.

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