Thoughts on being Selfish

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Review Chain
I wrote this 3 years ago and at the time I had no clue why. It's funny how time reveals things.

Submitted: December 05, 2015

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Submitted: December 18, 2011

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I have been selfish to myself by not giving myself time to heal.

Trying to hide the scars and the tears and all the pain that you've given me.

You taught me to be ashamed of who I was and to hate who I am. And now the insecurities that were given to you by your family have become my insecurities. I have learned to be more afraid so I hide my scars from the world...from my mother, my brothers, my sisters and others. So I have no need for friends. I've hidden my scars so well that the person that I am is pretend.

But I have chosen to show my scars to the world and without hesitation heal the wounds that I allowed to go on. Because it's me I have to embrace at the end of the day. And I have to love me even when the woman I'm with questions my manhood and says that I'm gay. Because I was raised by a village of women with no man around on father's day.

Or any other day for that matter.

But even Tupac said that any man raised by a woman will have characteristics of the woman who raised them. And if that's the case the I'd rather be like my mother than a sperm donor.

I refuse to be held down, beat up and discouraged for the sake of a woman. I have to reclaim me. And I will not allow the hurtful words of anyone or anything define me. I never want the words of the wounded to determine my internal being.


© Copyright 2017 Ted Gerard. All rights reserved.

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