It's been two months since I last spoke, two months of nothing. I smile, I go to work, I eat. I function fine, but I don't speak.
Two moths ago, on this day, they killed her. HE, killed her.
The most painstakingly thing I could of imagined, the next best thing to killing me. He took my best friend.
I had known her since I was sixteen, barely out of high school when I ran into her on a crowded bus. We hit it off like a house on fire, and within the first few seconds of electric blue eyes meeting my sparkling green, I knew I loved her. There were few things we agreed on and even fewer things we could argue about, but the discussions were endless. Seven years later, with just a knife, she was gone. Taken, ripped. Torn so viciously from my life, leaving nothing but a burning hatred. The sparkle now gone, dull green eyes smoulder with hatred as the burning passion of revenge tears through my veins.
Silence surrounds me, overwhelming and simple as it seeps through the night. Foot falls on the pavement, near silent as I weave through the empty streets. The city lights burn down on the darkness that beckons me. Deep breaths calming my inner turmoil as I reach the door and knock, stepping back politely, so as not to overwhelm the door frame. The door opens inward, and a soft cough is heard, acknowledging my presence. I brush my feet off, and step inside.
He leads me through the house, and I walk the stairs, stopping half way up the first flight "No one home today, no sir. time for bed ol' Jack." He mumbles, and steps past me, nodding. I silently lean on two panels, and hear the soft grate as the levers behind the wall slide a section, narrow enough for a woman to walk up, to the side. I step into the passage, and wait until i hear the dull clink of the hidden wall shut, before heading upstairs.
I shiver as I reach my rooms, essentially the attic, and pause in the door frame. Under the small window to the left of the room is a sectioned off area, for the small bathroom encompassed in this room. Directly ahead is a Huge queen size bed, beneath a moonlit window. A free standing wardrobe sits across the room, on the right of the door beside a tall scotch chest set of drawers, to the left of the door, an old style womans set of drawers, with a huge mirror centered on it. A floor to ceiling length mirror is set into the wall across from the section of the bathroom, below another small window. A desk sits against the wall beside my bed, filled with files and folders, things I've been slowly gathering ever since her death.
I note nothing having moved, but the lingering scent of her perfume makes me furrow my brow and clear my throat. I want to call for her, to know if she is here. But I know she can't be, I watched her die for christs sake. I shrug out of my knee length black coat, and toss it over the end of my bed. I sit to untie my shoes and leave them beneath my coat. I flop onto my bed, laying my gun under the unused pillows on my left. I close my eyes, and welcome sleep, but it evades me yet again as she invades my thoughts. I sigh, heaving myself off the bed, and drag the body bag out from beneath the bed, and hang it from a support beam in the center of my room.
After relentlessly laying into the bag for forty five minutes, I change after a long slow shower and lay across the bed again.Silent tears roll down my face as I curl up beneath the blankets at the foot of my bed, praying to a non existent god to bring me peace, hoping for the same god to show me how to handle this. For the first time in my short twenty three years, suicide seems like a fantastic option. That's when fate favors me, and I pass out.
I awake four hours later, and the first hints of daylight seep into my room through the window above the mirror, and I sigh, shaking sleep from my limbs. I slowly get up, and straighten my bed out before I shower and dress in clothing identical to yesterdays, minus the coat. I swap that for a casual light weight soft leather one. I grab my gun, hiding it away before straightening and checking the mirro. I freeze at the sight.
Five foot seven, at roughly sixty seven kilos. Breasts hidden by the jacket currently being worn, but visible if you weren't stupid. A lithe athletes body covered in an olive tan. Mid to short length jet blackhair, hidden by the beanie pulled over top of my mop of hair.Black boots, hidden by lighter black jeans. Green eyes dully stare out, never really betraying sign of emotion, but forever constant. Wary, tired of watching. I shake it off, and turn. The ghost of who I am now, the shell, barely portraying enough to guess anything but a deep, dark sorrow, and a hunger, unsatisfied, and forever burning.
I walk slowly, with a saunter, glasses covering my eyes, to shield them from the darting looks of people who walk past me.
'KAEYL!' I freeze, not having heard my name since Althea's death. I turn my head, eye's searching for who could possibly know my name. I spot her, and nearly drop. Forgetting Althea had a younger sister until I see her running my way. She jumps up, into my arms, and harsh sobs rack her body. I exhale and slowly take her to my place, half carrying, half guiding her. I check my watch as we enter the kitchen, 12:45.
Althea's younger sister stares at me in disbelief as I make her a cup of tea and walk her out to the living room, I hand it to her and she whispers to me, barely audible,but enough for me to snatch the words from the air. "Kaeyl I thought... Thought you were gone too." I shake my head and she looks me in the eye, seeing the grief and loss, the sense of nothing. She puts down her cup and climbs into my lap, looping her arms around my neck, slowly breathing in and out. "She always smelt like you.. Please.." I lean back and lay down on the couch. She cries, and I lay there, cradling her small body in my arms, feeling her weight. She's only sixteen, and already I can see the signs. She's so lost, and I know I am going to have to help her. But is this what you want, Althea? Instead of condemning myself to a life of hell, chasing him down. Would you rather I stay here?
I stare at the ceiling, feeling my heart break that one last time, knowing you want me right here. I hear her sob one last time before she falls asleep. I shift her weight, and stand. I loop her arms around my neck again, and carry her upstairs. I lay her in my bed, and slip her shoes off. I leave her there and slowly strip, throwing my clothes into a hamper by the shower. I whimper a little, the knots in my shoulder causing grief as I move my arm. I shower and pull a t shirt on before sliding into bed. I feel you push me toward her, and I softly sigh and shake my head. Chevaunne moves slowly, slides around and pulls at my arm, I roll over and pull her by the waist into me, cradling her against me. I feel her tense and her nails rip into the flesh of my arm, I groan and pull her into me, chasing away the demons that haunt her dreams. As she slowly relaxes, she turns and nuzzles into my neck, intertwining her legs with mine. I stare at the wall blankly, and wait for some form of sleep.
Hours slide by as Chevaunne sleeps in my arms, and hours go by again as I mull things over in my head. She finally starts to waken, and her lips brush the skin on my neck. I tense, relaxing when I realize she is groaning as she wakes up. She leans back a little, and as she opens her eyes and looks up at me, tears well up. I softly kiss her forehead, and she relaxes again "Thank you Kaeyl.." She mumbles as she slowly kisses the line of my jaw. She hesitates there for a second, momentarily loving her lips against my flesh, and I stifle a moan. I nod and she looks into my eyes before I get up."Sing for me Kaeyl, please? You always did it, even when I was younger.. It's been so long.." I look into her eyes, shaking my head as I get up and get dressed. She sighs and I hand her a towel, and she goes to take a shower. I leave, going for the kitchen, needing coffee and food. After twenty minutes she follows me down. Still drying her hair as she walks in wearing one of my shirts. I genuinely smile for the first time since Althea's death. Chevaunne looks exactly like Althea did at that age, the same hour glass figure and soft blonde hair. She smiles at me and I notice the blush, then I realize why she was so emotional yesterday, she loves me.
I smile softly and she grabs a plate of food, quickly finishing. I smile and quickly follow suit, then finish my coffee. We head back to my rooms, and she stays by my side the whole time. Once we reach my room, she gets dressed and I grab my jacket, waiting downstairs in the kitchen for her.She comes down looking dazed, and I raise an eyebrow at her. "I... I'm sorry Kaeyl.. I went through your stuff, and I found some of Althea's old things... I found her diary, and she writes about you and her..." I feel my jaw go slack and I run upstairs, taking them three at a time. I fling myself into my room and find Althea's things scattered on my bed. I take off my jacket and drop it on the floor, slowly I gather her things exactly how I remember them, and put them all back in her drawers to the left of the door.
I hear Chevaunne enter the room and I wipe my face of emotion. "Kaeyl- please stop, please let me explain! I didn't realize you- Kaeyl!" She punches my arm and when I turn she flinches from the look in my eyes. "Yeah, I married Althea. Yeah, we lived here. And yes, I am lesbian. You what? Didn't realize that we lived together? Was there ever a time where I wasn't close by? Where we didn't hold hands? Where everything and anything we did didn't involve the other?. Use your brain, kid." Her jaw drops as my voice reaches a dangerous low tone, the slight husky quality of it makes her shiver. I finish putting Althea's things back, and I crawl up, across my bed, laying out.
Chevaunne crawls up beside me, laying her body out against mine and I look away from her. "I know.. I'm sorry.. I love you, Kaeyl.." I gulp down fear as her words echo in my mind, and I look into her eyes. "I can't love you, Chevaunne.. Not yet." I let her hug me, and I turn my head away. She feels the gun holstered at my side and looks at me fearfully, I silently curse my own habits, and pull her hand away. I look away, thinking how I can avoid this, but knowing I can't.
Her hands, exploring my body, discover the knife that is kept on my belt/ She looks at me again, and fearfully pulls her hands away. I pull her into me, turning her into a position where I can spoon her, and relax. "Kaeyl.. Why won't you sing..." She whispers, running her hand up my arm. I frown a little, "Not since Althea. I can't do it." I shiver and slide out of bed, taking my gun and knife out, laying them in a drawer in my desk and closing it.
© Copyright 2016 teddi tee. All rights reserved.
Book / Gay and Lesbian
Book / Gay and Lesbian
Short Story / True Confessions
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