Discovering yourself

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic


This is about my recent discoveries about myself and how it can feel to know about yourself. We all believe that we know everything there is to know about ourselves until we discover more. I
believe that this can be achieved by trying new things, getting into different situations, whether comfortable or not. We can discover positives and negatives, but in the end whichever one it is I
believe that it is worth knowing. Take what the world has to offer, there is so much out there that is to be seen, even more to be lived.

Submitted: February 27, 2018

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Submitted: February 27, 2018

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Discovering yourself

 

These past few years I have been drinking a lot, I can never identify these things but I am wondering if it might have been alcoholism. This has lead me to talk about many of my problems to many people: friends and random strangers I happened to be drunk with. This is changing now. I have recently been meeting new people and at first I struggled with what I could reveal to them about myself and what I should keep hidden. I am now managing to keep my private life completely private. I do not do this to be secretive or even because I am ashamed of my issues. I do this because I wait to have known someone for years before telling them my past. At first I thought that this was considered lying and therefore I felt quite guilty. Now however I have realised that this is not lying, as human beings we have a filter, a choice to say what we choose and a right to privacy. This is simply what I am doing, I am keeping my private life private and that should be everyone's right.

At first this can be difficult but once it is mastered I have realised that is has been both positive and negative. the negative is that it makes you feel damaged and alienated but it also makes you realise how strong you can be and more about yourself than you ever knew. I have developped resilience because of this.

 

This experience has also made me nottice a few issues about myself that I was not aware of. Meeting new people has played a part in all of this. For example one of my newest friends has mentionned multiple times that one thing he finds strange about me and he sees as negative is that I "do not care about anything bad that happens to me". I am not suite sure this is that negative, yes it can be in certain cases because it prevents you from doing anything to change the negatives in your life. I have identified that about myself. When something happens to me that I can't deal with I simply disconnect from it and let whatever happens happen. I believe that this is a coping mechanism. going through different types of abuse, especially sexual has confused my responses to bad parts of my life and when I can't deal with reality I ignore it.

 

I have been reading about self harm and have discovered that some people who self harm use it as a coping mechanism in order to detach themselves from their emotions. When I am feeling bad and start to have a breakdown I cut myself and I don't feel as bad. I am in no way saying that this is the solution, self harming is not the right way to deal with your issues and many times it can make things worse. In my case however I have realised that it aids me when I can't handle reality anymore. I separate from my emotions and see them as part of another person.

 

I can conclude that I have been on a trip of discovery of myself. I have notticed new things good and bad. I srongly advise that anyone and everyone take the time to reflect on their lives, past, present and what they would want for the future. Many people who are lost do not realise this and believe that they are already found. However I believe that there is always more to be found out about yourself, test yourself, try putting yourself in different situations, get out of your comfort zone, have new experiences. Some you will like and some not so much but I believe that in the end it is worth it. I am still trying different experiences, I hope to for a very long time. The world has so much to offer even if it is not all positive. There is no feeling better than knowing about yourself, your reactions, feelings, problems, flaws, stregths, weaknesses...

 

Discover yourself, try everything the world has to offer.

XXX

Teen Nobody.


© Copyright 2020 teen nobody. All rights reserved.

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