Pain passes

Today's topic is recovery, improving your life and never giving up. Never losing hope because it really does get better.

My life has been improving so much lately, I have been getting happier and happier even when some things in my life go wrong. For example I was left alone with my father for a week and a half and it did not go well at all, my father finally admitted that he thought I was a terrible person and he was actually sober when he said this. I told him that I truly hated him and had for years and so we continued staying in the same house not talking except when he told me to make him dinner or to clean the house, I couldn't refuse because I was too afraid that he would tell me to leave or get angry and hurt me.

A few months ago I would have hurt myself and thought about suicide but not this time, this time I went for a walk, smoked a cigarette and got over it. That's when I really noticed that I was getting better.

I also realised for the first time that my best friend and I are now former best friends and I am okay with that, actually I think that it is better that way, not talking to her has made me happier, only now do I realise how much talking to her hurt me. She used to put me down, make me lose confidence in myself, she made it harder and harder for me to live in the real world, she made me feel like my hole life was fake.

Since she has been out of my life I have been able to look at everything I have been through and I have been able to be proud of surviving all of it. I know I am not the most courageous person and many people have been through much more than I have but I still feel like a survivor, like a soldier.

That's why I have decided to write this miscellaneous, I started writing this as a sort of diary, a form of therapy to get all of my troubles off my chest but now I have decided to help others, my hope is that maybe one of you can see how my life has gotten better and learn that if mine has, then yours can too. By reading this maybe you can just hold on for a little bit longer, just keep breathing, please keep living and your life will improve, depression never lasts forever, it will pass, I know it sounds impossible and improbable but it really does pass.

I have recovered by not having the girl who was doing so much damage in my life anymore, by forcing myself to think positive even if it is one of the hardest things, by making new friends and doing what I love the most, writing.

My advice to anyone who is going through anything similar is to get rid of the bad in your life and find something you love doing, it could be anything, writing, a sport, film, photos, walks... it really can be anything as long as it makes you happy, just keep on living, force yourself if you have to, just remember that whatever happens, it will pass.

Stay strong, keep on surviving, see you, I love you!

Keep on living, it will pass.

XXX

Teen nobody.