Being found

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

not really my best work but a poem that is very dear to my heart....it's about my dad who now wants to be apart of my life

Being Found

Why after all this time do you want to find me? After so many years have passed and you have been forgotten, you weren’t in my thoughts, you weren’t in my heart, and you were never on my mind.  Everything that I have pushed aside is rushing back like an infinite ocean, going farther and farther until I reach a black pit. I had no wish to be part of you, or for you to be part of me, but life doesn’t always turn out the way I want it. For if it had you would have been my father you would have loved and cared for me, you would have held me when I cried and had nightmares of creatures trying to get to me. But you chose a different destiny, you didn’t want to have any responsibilities, and you took so much away from me that has gone into eternity, everything I wanted but never got that’s why I’m trying to be stronger than you ever thought I could be. But you coming back to my life bringing all those memories is making me crumble makes me feel like I got the world on my shoulders, I didn’t want you, I don’t need you,  I’ve had enough of you! I can’t escape you and your tragedy! You will always be the ghost of me!  You haunt my past my present and future even though I haven’t done anything to you! You treat me like a criminal oh wait that’s you…you’re the one who did the crime and your trying to take me with you. But I won’t go I’m not going to let take over my life and destroy who I am inside I’ve worked too hard to get where I am in this time and age I need to raise up and be better than you my father even though you were never there I can still be a stronger daughter so I can do it for my mother who has raised which is more than I can say for you! You had the chances but wouldn’t take them you had the choices now you can regret them you can take this destiny and leave me out of it I won’t let you bring me down because you think that I’m part of you I am more like my mother than I ever will be you I won’t have the end that you choose I will raise up and do a better me I will never be you. I’m going to raise my children in the eyes of god I’m going to show them the true meaning of right and wrong I won’t let them go down the same road you did they’ll make their mistakes and do what they do but I’d rather die than have my children turn out to be like you. They won’t abandon their family they won’t leave them to rot then try to come back as if they forgot, they will have a life that is true to who they are, they won’t know, they won’t hear of you from my past, for you are nothing but a terrible nightmare that is fading fast into the depths of all of your deception I will not be your exception or your salvation you have lost me I’m going beyond anything for you are not a part of me I won’t see your face or hear your loud sounds that’s the great thing about being found, I get to remember that you abandoned me that you were never a part of me. You didn’t take the chances you had you just left because it was easiest, you didn’t want a daughter you didn’t want me you didn’t need me, but now you do but I’m stronger I won’t let you get to me you are nothing but a memory that I will soon forget, and I’ll always be the chance that you didn’t take and now regret. I didn’t ask for you I don’t need you so forget my face, forget my sound, I want to stay lost from you not found…


Submitted: May 27, 2014

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