My Saving Grace - Chapter 1

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Ella fights to move on from her ex, while meeting new people and going through new experiences. Ultimately, she has to find the strength within herself to be okay without the love of her life.

Submitted: December 28, 2014

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Submitted: December 28, 2014

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Ella closed her eyes, fighting the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.

Two years, ten months, and 23 days. That’s how long that she and Grace had been together. Almost three years of her life that they had spent completely head over heels, madly in love, in the most cheesy and wonderful way possible.

She took a deep breath, running the words that Grace had said to her through her mind again and again, thinking maybe eventually, they would change.

“There’s someone else….” Grace’s voice was unsteady, wavering ever so slightly as she told Ella this cruel fact. For a few minutes, Ella didn’t believe it. She almost didn’t even hear the words at all. She searched Grace’s face and after a few painfully slow moments, it hit her and she finally heard the words. Everything began to move very slowly. Her ears began to ring, her vision got clouded and her head was pounding. Was this a joke? Her eyes met Grace’s piercing emerald ones, and found them filled with tears as well. It wasn’t a joke. But why was she doing this? Nothing was wrong. Their relationship was as strong as ever, and there was no warning whatsoever. How could there be someone else?

Ella closed her eyes, fighting the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry….” She only vaguely heard these words, followed by the soft footsteps as Grace left the room. When she heard the door close, Ella gave up on holding back tears. Her mind raced as she tried to think of what had caused this. The only thoughts that flooded her mind were memories of the last three years; all of them good and happy memories of the best three years of her life. And then, eventually, the crushing thought that it was all over. This realization took everything out of her, paralyzed her. She fell to the ground, quiet sobs escaping from her lips.

 

Grace and Ella’s relationship had never been an easy one. And not because they were two girls. But because Grace lived in Michigan, and Ella lived in Seattle.

They met in high school in the small town of Addison, Michigan where they both lived. Ella was a junior and Grace was a sophomore. Neither of them even knew that they liked girls when they met. They started out as friends, and then became best friends. And slowly, very slowly, they began to fall for each other. They were both hesitant about these feelings; Grace especially. It took them a long time to even act on these feelings, but eventually, they couldn’t ignore them anymore. When they finally admitted them, and realized that the other felt the same way, everything began to fall into place.

For months, Ella and Grace were too nervous to do much about their feelings. They both acknowledged them, but didn’t do much about them until the beginning of Ella’s senior year and Grace’s junior year. Ella was going to fly out to Seattle to visit the University of Washington, where she planned to go to school after graduation. She invited Grace to go on the trip with her, since Ella’s parents couldn’t come.

The two flew out to Seattle in October, when the weather was perfect; rainy and cold, just the way Ella loved it. After a tour of the university, and spending the next two days wandering around the city, Ella was in love with it, and Grace was pretty close to falling in love with it, too.

Even more than that though, Grace was closer to falling in love with Ella. The past few months since they admitted to their feelings for each other, Grace has slowly been falling in love with her best friend. It had been hard keeping it a secret, but it turned out that admitting it, and then not being able to act on it was much harder. Neither Grace nor Ella had ever dated anyone, and Grace hadn’t even kissed anyone before Ella. They didn’t really know what to do or how to start, so they didn’t.

Grace was finding it harder and harder to handle her feelings, though, especially in Seattle, a place that made Ella so happy and inspired and passionate. When she was like this, she was all the more beautiful and radiant and glowing. The way her eyes light up when she sees the city, how excited she gets just wandering around, perfectly content just taking in all the people and the surroundings of the new place. The city was beautiful, but Grace spent more time watching Ella.

On the last day in Seattle, Grace could see Ella getting very sad to leave, so she decided to try to cheer her up as best as she could. She planned the whole day out, making time for each of Ella’s favorite parts of the city. They spent a few hours at the beach, just walking along the shoreline, watching the water and talking. When Ella became inspired by the water and the sky and the sand and the sounds of the people like Grace knew she would, Grace pulled Ella’s journal out of her purse. They sat on the beach for a while in peaceful silence, Ella focused on the pen and paper in her hands, and Grace watching Ella’s hand moving across the page, her messy cursive soon covering the page in beautiful words describing the way the waves kiss the shoreline.

After the beach, they went to get lunch, and then got coffee to go as they continued wandering aimlessly through the city. It amazed Grace how easily Ella became happy and excited. The smallest things brighten her day. This was one of Grace’s favorite things about her. All she needed was a cup of coffee to put a smile on her face. For hours, they walked up and down the streets of downtown Seattle, pausing every once in a while, when Ella decided she needed another picture of yet another tall building. Grace didn’t understand her fascination with buildings, as they all looked pretty much the same to her. And yet, every time Ella took a picture of one, Grace would laugh to herself and roll her eyes, until she saw the photos. Somehow, even though they all seemed so similar, when Ella took pictures of them, she captured not only the building, but something special about them that was blind to Grace’s eyes. She captured a moment that meant something to Ella, and only through the pictures could Grace even see the beauty in it.

When they had walked up and down every street of downtown at least twice, they decided it was time for dinner. Grace made reservations for them at a nicer restaurant, where they sat and talked for a long time about how excited Ella was to be moving to such an amazing place. Grace smiled and nodded and let her ramble about the school and the professors, but in the back of her mind, she started to realize that there was only about 10 months left before Ella moved. Her best friend would be moving practically across the country from her. Not only her best friend, but the girl that she was in love with. She needed to be more honest with Ella about her feelings, and she suddenly felt like she had no time at all to do it. Although she did her best to stay engaged in the conversation, her focus was on how she was going to do it without messing up and jeopardizing their friendship and possibly their relationship.

 

 

Ella watched Grace’s eyes slowly become less involved in the conversation about Seattle, and she realized she was probably boring her to tears and most likely had been the entire trip. She suddenly felt bad and started asking her questions about things relating to her to make up for it. It was Ella’s turn to lose focus, as Grace discussed her classes. The only thing she could focus on was Grace’s dark brown eyes, lighting up as she laughed and joked. While Ella and Grace had admitted their feelings for each other, Ella still wanted more. She didn’t want to just have a crush on her best friend and have that be the end of it. Throughout the trip, it was becoming more obvious to Ella that she wanted to be with Grace. She wanted every bit of her goofy, beautiful, best friend to be hers. And while she was so excited to be moving to Seattle, a place she had always been in love with, a place full of so much beautiful energy that Ella could practically feel pulsing through her veins, she was not excited to be leaving her best friend back in Michigan in 10 months. This felt like a ticking time bomb strapped to Ella’s back. She knew that she wanted to be with Grace, and she wanted to be with her now, before they ran out of time and Ella moved away. Then it would be too late.

The entire trip, Ella had been taking in all of the amazing parts of the city. But she also had started noticing small things about Grace that she was crazy about.

Her dark, piercing eyes that Grace thought were so boring, but that Ella saw a galaxy of color in. While yes, they were dark brown, they were also filled with specks of gold, and sometimes light green. Nothing about her eyes could be boring.

Her smile, which was never fake. If she was smiling, she meant it. Ella loved that, because you had to earn her smiles. She didn’t just give them to anyone.

Her laugh, also never fake, but one of the most amazing sounds Ella had heard. It compared so easily to the beautiful melodies in her favorite songs, which gave her goose bumps when she heard them.

Her kindness. She spent the entire trip listening to Ella ramble on about Seattle and school, which no doubt bored her the whole time, but never said a word about it or complained even the slightest bit. When Ella started to get sad about leaving, Grace planned a whole day to distract her from being upset, filled with new adventures and memories of the city to hold her over until she moved here. When they were at the beach and Ella was disappointed in herself for forgetting her journal at the hotel and she became inspired and wanted to write, Grace had her journal, like she knew it would happen; like she was counting on it. Grace sat patiently and waited until Ella finished writing.

When she showed her the poem, she smiled and nodded, commenting that it was beautiful. Ella laughed to herself at this; Grace was much better and math and science, and poetry was not something she was particularly good at. Unless you specifically spell it out to her, it’s more than likely that she will not understand what it’s trying to say. And this was definitely the case for this particular poem.

Kiss me the way the waves kiss the tender lips of the sandy shore.

Apparently this wasn’t clear enough for her; she still didn’t grasp that all I want is her lips on mine. Ella dreamed about this every night, and couldn’t shake the desire that she had for her best friend, no matter how hard she tried.

Ella glanced at Grace’s lips now as she spoke, telling a story about their friend Jess. Ella could hardly hear the words she was saying, she could hardly notice anything going on around her actually. She could only focus on the shape of Grace’s lips, the way they moved, and how she imagined they felt, how they would feel against hers. Ella bit her lip, and tried to shake the thoughts from her head. She suddenly heard Grace’s voice, asking her if she was okay as she returned to reality.

Ella’s eyes shifted from Grace’s lips and met her eyes, which looked concerned. Ella nodded, reassuring her that she was fine, and when they were both finished eating, they paid the bill and left the restaurant. They were both full from an amazing meal, as Grace led them to the last stop before their hotel for the night.

The same thought was on both of their minds; tonight. It needs to happen tonight. 

 

Grace took Ella back to the beach, to an area that is always empty. On one side of the beach is a little cave, and when you sit in it, you can see both the beach and the stars perfectly. Grace laid out blankets inside of it, and she and Ella crawled into them, bundling up and sitting closely together to keep warm. Grace brought speakers and set them up with a playlist of all of Ella’s favorite songs, playing quietly so that it was just background music to their talking and laughing and joking.

Both of their eyes were on the stars and the beach in front of them as they talked about unimportant things that meant the world to both of them. Slowly, and then all at once, it began to rain. They were safe from the water in their little cave, but the sound of the rain drops on the water, the sand and the ground around them made any talking feel like an intrusion on the beautiful sounds that were surrounding them. A few minutes into the rain and after they stopped talking, Ella’s favorite song came on.

The rain began to fall harder against the ground, and the waves maintained their steady, slow pace of kissing the shoreline. Ella glanced up at the stars, focusing on the darkness and the small specks of silver light, as well as the music of the song playing, the beats coursing through her veins, and the lyrics flooding her mind.

She felt Grace move slightly, and then felt her hand find Ella’s under the blankets, their fingers lacing together. Ella smiled, and leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes, and breathing in the intensity of this perfect, beautiful moment.

 

Grace watched Ella, her gaze on the stars and the waves. Grace didn’t plan for this to be so romantic; she just thought Ella would like it. She knew that stars, and the beach, and her music were some of the things most precious to Ella. The rain was just luck, especially since Ella loved rain so much, but Grace took it as a sign. When the rain started pounding around them, and Ella’s favorite song came on, she saw the look on Ella’s face become so innocent and amazed and inspired. These were the types of moments that Ella valued most.

Grace noticed the goose bumps on Ella’s arms, the way they always appeared at times like these when she was most happy and passionate. She couldn’t help moving her own hand to find Ella’s, intertwining their fingers together. Grace watched as Ella closed her eyes, and as she leaned back against the wall, a small, beautiful smile forming on her lips.

Ella’s beauty was shocking to Grace. She took in every centimeter of her face. Her heart-shaped face and her pale, porcelain skin, surrounded by her long, deep red hair. Her pink cheeks, with tiny freckles scattered across them. Her pink, perfectly shaped lips. Her long eyelashes casting shadows down her face. Grace watched as a small tear ran down her cheek, and smiled. She knew that perfect moments like these will always make her cry.

Ella focused on her breathing as she felt a tear run down her cheek. She was trying to gather the courage to kiss Grace, but she was terrified. Terrified of rejection, terrified of ruining their friendship, and terrified of falling completely in love, like she was about to. But she knew she had to take the chance. Again, she felt the weight of the ticking time bomb on her back. If she never takes a chance, they will never know what could happen. Just as Ella was about to open her eyes and finally do what she has been so scared to do, she heard Grace’s small, nervous voice whisper, “Ella?”

Grace bit her lip as she watched Ella’s chest rise and fall for a few minutes, debating whether she should do it or not, fighting the same fight that Ella is in her mind at the same exact moment. She glanced up at Ella’s lips one last time and decided she had to do it. She had to at least try. Her lips finally opened and Grace whispered Ella’s name in a half-question, as she fought the butterflies swarming in her tummy.

Ella slowly opened her eyes when she heard Grace’s voice, and Ella’s piercing green eyes met Grace’s dark brown ones. “Can I kiss you?” Grace whispered in a hushed tone, not taking her eyes from Ella’s even though all she wanted to do was back down, apologize for being stupid, and run away from Ella and the disaster she just created.

Ella was shocked, amazed, and excited that Grace had the courage to do what she had been so scared to do. Ella was overwhelmed with happiness and almost forgot to answer her question, because she was distracted by the beauty in Grace’s eyes.

Ella moved her free hand to Grace’s cheek, brushing her thumb over her deep, olive skin. When Ella finally found the words to answer her, her voice was tiny and cracked with nervousness, but it was all the strength she could find.

“Please do…,” Ella’s voice was just as quiet and small as Grace’s, and Grace had to fight to hear it, and fight even harder to convince herself that she had actually heard right. Ella’s fingertips on Grace’s cheek were like electricity that both of them felt. They kept their eyes glued together as they slowly moved closer into each other.  The most intense part of the song began and filled the air around them as their eye’s fluttered closed, their noses brushed, and their lips pressed together. They kissed like their lips were air and they were both struggling to breathe. They kissed like their lives depended on it. They kissed like two people who were falling completely in love with each other.

 

 


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