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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Introspect into what I am and what I go thru behind the scenes

Submitted: March 22, 2011

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Submitted: March 22, 2011



6 pm and a c you in the morning wow, I wonder if God knows why sub missives do what they do, attention to detail is what they are thinking, that with a little trouble feeling like they have to earn all of their affection, we will be told when we are allowed to feel by being put in either a place of honor or a stable, or a some place in between, but in our heads we get what we have deserved and nothing more. We don’t deserve more until told so Sometimes that is complicated, but in our minds it is all the same and many people; Dom, sub or nether, understand that it is not a pre thought in our head but, almost a mental disorder, sort of, we base our self worth on what we can do for others, whether we have a Dom or not, or even a mate, we will still search out Dominate personalities, to fill the void in our lives, and maybe get a pat on the head, even to someone that does not believe in the lifestyle, hence why the waitress goes out of her way for you or the mail man will wait 45 minutes for you to get a package, they are seeking that attention, and truthfully sometimes cant help it. It has nothing to do with anything sexual or relationship based I treat everyone in my circle with the same respect, I love them all, some gain my attention more than others but I would fight for each and every one to the death for their protection and well being
Most sub missives are content, but not all, all the time, sometimes everything is perfect, on cloud 9 then face plant because they feel neglected or shunned, to be a Dom is not a lighthearted role to play sometimes it takes constant redirect, and some subs are good with weeks without direction and some subs can be back and forth at the drop of a hat. And as I do, subs without a Dom per say will attempt to please all around them and well that’s not always easy, I promise, ideas get stupid, feelings get hurt, I have to make sure there is a balance even when there really isn’t, just to make everyone at ease., it makes you jumpy and seem nervous around me now, was actually surprised you called me and I know you cant help but come over, I know how you don’t want to hurt me. I told you I would be good as long as your happy, and then I go and cry, I am sorry boo never my intention to do anything but please u. I hope things right themselves soon, blind faith, you gave me and prayers, every night right after I pray 4 my children promise Boo I will be here when ever 4 whatever

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