GRETCHEN: This looks like a job for the Pony Tails girls... Ladies, start rubbing the inside walls of the blimp.
GRETCHEN: The sooner we bring down inflation, the sooner we bring us down.
LI'L BIT: You sound like a freakin' politician, Gretch, but I get ya.
SHADOWCAT: I don' want no part o' this, baby. This all 'bout as logical as that party Alice threw last week.
FREAKY FRIEDA: I thought it was a good party.
SHADOWCAT: Th' party was okay, but she th' only person I know who celebrate the anniversary of Montana's statehood. Least, the only one in th' state o' California.
GRETCHEN: Granted, not everyone does, but what's wrong with that?
SHADOWCAT: I looked it up. Montana became a state in November, not December. Someone need t' check chika's calendar.
ALICE: I always celebrate it a month later. You save a fortune on the decorations and you avoid the Montana Day mad rush.
ROSE: Are you guys going to stand around all day, swapping non sequiturs, or are you going to get us down?
SHADOWCAT: Keep ya quartz on, Rosie.
ROSE: Listen, bitch...
QUEEN VICTORIA: We are not amused.
BIANCA: No offence, Your Majesty, but even I'm getting tired of that one.
Q. V. (sadly): It's all anyone ever remembers me saying.
ROSE: Then be quiet!
Q.V.: I will be good.
SHADOWCAT: Dayum, Rose! You a hardass, baby.
ROSE: Hello? I'm quartz?
LI'L BIT: Let it go, S.C. What can you really do to her? Rock, Paper, Scissors?
SHADOWCAT: Whatevah. You sure this gonna get us down, Gretch?
GRETCHEN: It's simple dream logic.
BRUCEK: No it's not. Look, nothing in dreams is easy. That's why I don't have them.
GRETCHEN (shocked): Bruce! You don't have dreams?
SHADOWCAT: Bruce-baby, tha' all kinda weird. Everybody dream.
BRUCEK: I don't. Sorry, S.C. I just don't. Aside from the hallucinations, I'm fine. (Swats arm) Damn bugs!
SHADOWCAT: Now I know you one a' Alice's voices. Sheesh!
GRETCHEN: Back on track, guys. Start rubbing.
*The strippers start rubbing the walls of the blimp, all except for Freaky Frieda, who sticks her head out the entrance and looks up.*
FRIEDA: It's working guys. The blimp's getting bigger!
MARY JANE: And bigger... And bigger...
*Suddenly the blimp lets out a moan and all of the gas escapes. The blimp starts falling*
BRUCEK: Oh, shoot!
GRETCHEN: I don't want to die yet! I never got a chance to toilet-paper Miley Cyrus' house... This week, I mean.
FRIEDA: We've got to get higher!
LI'L BIT: No problem.
*Li'l Bit grabs Mary Jane and a lighter from her pocket.*
MARY JANE: Bruce! Help!
*BruceK grabs MJ from Bit's lips*
BRUCEK: That's enough of that! Teri can set fire to one of her own characters. Tell her to leave mine alone.
ROSE: I've got it! Alright, everybody, take off your –
TO BE CONTINUED ON BRUCEK'S PAGE. LOOK FOR IT THERE.
© Copyright 2016 Teri Cross Chetwood. All rights reserved.
Script / Humor
Script / Humor
Script / Humor
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