When fate wants to play

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic
Samuel, a 26 year old guy from Kansas finds himself in an abyss of depression after several unfortunate events that ultimately leads him to try to end his life. What he didn't see coming was fate's intervention in the form a hunk, Dr.Peter who might actually be the one good thing Sam sees after many years.

Submitted: March 17, 2016

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 17, 2016



This story is written in the form of POV(point of view) of the first person. 

All characters and events are fictional and are not meant to cause offence.

18+ content




I woke up with a throbbing headache to the sound of my alarm clock going off. The time displayed in red outlines read “6:00 am." It was Monday morning; I remembered the source of my fucking ache was all the booze and vodka I chugged last night in a fit to forget some undesirable memories. I dragged my ass out of my bed though everything in me wanted to be hugged by my sheets and sleep in, but I had work. I was a junior editor in 'Leland's Enterprise' which wasn't a big company paying six  digit salary, but it made ends meet and it was more than enough for a bachelor like me.

I turned on the shower and jumped when I realized the water was freezing like it just flowed up to my Bathroom pipes from the Antarctic, I cringed and cussed at the plumbers who still hadn't fixed the heaters. Well, now I had to make my way to the public shower (Which I dreaded by the way), all the manly Testosterones was just not me. Just as I got out of the shower shivering considering it was the middle of January, I heard a familiar voice call my name, “Sam?  You still asleep? Sam? “I walked out my two bedroom apartment, opened the door to find Alvin standing, his jaw dropped and eyes widened at the sight of my naked body which was covered with just a towel.

"I take it your shower's not fixed yet" he said with an obnoxious grin.

"Yeah, those fucking plumbers." He made a beeline for the kitchen, got something to drink from the cooler and as he sipped and placed his water on the table he said "Well you know you're always welcome to use my shower". He lived a floor beneath mine and his apartment was more spacious and decorated with art considering his wife loved contemporary abstract art. I told him I’ll just use the public shower and he laughed and smiled at me and said

"Trying to sneak in some peeks are you?" Alvin knew I was gay since we were in freshman year and he was cool with it, always trying to hook me up with strangers who looked like they were walking STDs. He had no taste in men considering he was straight as an arrow. I could feel my cheeks turn red and tried to hide it by facing away; he was still standing near the table.

"Nah, I don't want to hassle June (his wife)"  Also because my 5 years worth of relationship ended two weeks back when I found out Nick, my now ex was cheating on me with a younger version of Gordan Ramsey. Since I broke it off with Nick, I really didn't enjoy my off time or socialize ,  felt like a part of me died , and alcohol and Clubbing seemed to fill it, but temporarily , in the light of the morning , it all came back and hit me like a wave , suffocating me.

My face might have reflected my feelings and Alvin caught on it and said, " Hey, if you're still depressed over that weasel, you have no right to be, he wasn't worth it”, I felt my blood gushing through my veins and into my head and before I could think I blurted out some things that I regretted after I heard it. My face was a red as a fully ripe tomato and my hands were trembling. I left a stunned Alvin in the kitchen, went and shaved, brushed and got dressed and came down to see Alvin had left. I felt guilty but the things he said made me angry. Worthless? Weasel? What the fuck would he know.


At work I was greeted with smiles and the hours rolled by. It was just me staring at white sheets of papers the whole day. Just as I was about to call it a day and head home, My Boss called me in to his office.  His name was Augustus Leland. His great grandfather had started the company and was passed down to generations like a heirloom. He was about in his early 50s, dark hair with some Gray stripes, eyes were hazel and his built was okay for a 50 year old though his beer belly was visible. He pulled up a chair, pointed to it suggesting me to sit and I did. He started, “Sam you might be wondering Why I called you." I nodded, I was confused. He continued, “I’ve been observing you this last few days and you've been a mess, coming in late, reeking of booze, rude to some staff......." I countered his accusations with a blunt yet factual truth "I've been having a rough..." before I finished my sentence he was quick to cut me off and said "I don't need any excuse, we can't and won't tolerate such characters here, I'm sorry but you can leave, clear out your things by tomorrow." I felt like a bulldozer had just bulldozed me and felt my gut churning and gutted. Was I just fired? Now how the fuck am I suppose to pay my rent and my student loan off.

The way home I was a bit cooled and composed from the complexity of the earlier situation. My mind drifted off to my ex having sex on "MY COUCH" with a stranger and how I just got fired and before I knew it I was having trouble inserting the keys into the keyhole and finally after a heavy sigh and deep breath I managed to get it open. I entered the apartment, made my way to my bed, pulled up the covers and dozed off.


My alarm woke me up again, I forgot to disable it because I was fired and had nowhere to be. Well at least I didn't have a throbbing headache. I made my way to the kitchen, fixed myself some coffee and remembered the stinging words I had said to Alvin. I felt a sense of duty to go over and apologize but I couldn't do it. I was too embarrassed. Instead I went a laid down in my bed laid down like a fetus and before I knew it I was sobbing, uncontrollably. I moved to New York to find love and job because when I was 19 and came out to my parents, I was kicked out from home. They said I was an abomination, a "Freak of nature."

I could picture the look of disgust mum made and the punch that came from my dad to my nose. That night they packed my bag themselves and threw me out. That was 7 years ago.


A week went by and I still didn't come out of my apartment. That was it; I had to apologize to Alvin, he had been the only friend to see me through my rough patch. I finally found of myself in front of his door. I managed myself to give an audible knock. No answer. I knocked again, still no answer. My knocks now grew more desperate with each knock, but no answer. Just Then Mrs. Patmore, Alvin's 75 year old neighbor came out. She gave me a toothless smile and said “Son, don't bother.”

I was confused, my eyebrows shot up and I managed to ask “Why, are they not home?"

"They moved to Ohio three days back son." I gulped, my jaw fell, eyes widened and I swear a part of me died there on the hallway. Alvin and gone?  so much so without a formal goodbye? Did I drive my friend away from me? Shit, my temper drove my only friend away. Fuck. Fuuccck.






















I sat by the edge of the bed looking out the window that overlooked the sky, it now was turning a bright crimson telling me that dusk wasn't far away. It was surprising to see any sky considering New York is filled with massive skyscrapers and bill boards. I didn't like it buy my cheeks were kissed by my tears, my under eyes were as black as the tartar pits, my hair was probably messy and I hadn't eaten anything for the last few hours or so. Honestly, I didn't even feel like existing let alone eat. To recount - I broke off my five year of hard work, I got fired, my fucking best friend left so much so without even a goodbye and it was then I made up my mind. I didn't want to fucking breathe, I wanted to stop living, to disconnect from this world of pain. To break the tether that was connecting me to this world. Everything seemed so ominous now; depression consumed me and ate me from the inside out. It was visible on my morbid face.


I ubered a taxi, directed him to take me to the Brooklyn Bridge. I didn’t know where my mind was but it felt like time didn't pass. I was thinking of that summer, 5 years back in Time Square, wandering like a loss puppy when this handsome man approached me and greeted with  a two dimpled smile that just melted my insides.

He introduced himself as Nick, a freelance photographer. He was taking some still photos of the Time square garden and told me I looked lost. He was standing in close proximity; I could feel his heat wave that radiated on my body as he talked to me. This stranger was doing things to my insides. Fuck.

He had eyes that I assure you reflected the Caribbean Sea. His hair was a cross between blond and brown. It was wavy and messy. He had a gym built body and he was wearing cargo pants topped with a "I Love NYC" tee, so Cliché.

I introduced myself and told him how I left Home (Kansas) and made my way to NYC for a taste of city life. I left the part about my family out; I didn't want to scare this handsome guy away by some family issues.

I remembered he had taken me to the NYC museum and then for coffee later on. Numbers were exchanged and we met almost every day. I had my first kiss with him one week after we met. I had left my apartment without an umbrella. I left for the place we'd agreed upon to meet oblivious to the fact that it may rain. Soon enough on my arrival to the park, it began to pour and Nick had only one umbrella. He sprung it open and beckoned me join him. I refused at first blushing like a teenage hormonal bitch saying it was okay as nonchalantly as possible but then he grabbed my waist and pulled me inside the umbrella's radius. I swear I could feel his warm breath tingling my neck and doing shits to my crotch inside my denim jeans. I closed my eyes and before I knew it, his lips were placed on mine, so passionately, so eagerly and urgently. I opened my mouth and let his tongue do what it wanted to inside my mouth .........

“Sir, Sir...We’re here"

The sound of the taxi driver jolted me back to reality from my reverie. I paid him extra telling him he could keep the change. He flashed a smile at me, wished me goodnight and bid adieu.

I could feel the cool night breeze hit my uncombed hair. I stood close to the railings of the bridge looking at the moon's reflection on the water's surface. As I stared, for a moment, just for a moment I had forgotten about all my pain and lived in the serenity the reflection gave me but the busy Brooklyn's traffic noises wasn't going to let me have my peace. I sighed, waited till the street died down of cars and pedestrians and finally did it. I hopped across the railing and was now standing on the edge of the bridge which was wide enough to hold me but not wide enough to hold me if someone startled me.

I looked down to the vast bottom of the water, this was it. Time to say goodbye to pain and a miserable world. I had written a letter back at my apartment directing the ones who found it to give it to a person named ' Alvin Adam Roosevelt, Ohio ' and “Mr. and Mrs. Tom Stanford - Kansas." Now all I had to do was jump.

I took time with the jump, of course it scared the shit outta me, and like fuck I can't swim.  5 minutes passed by and right when I was about to make the leap, I heard a screech coming from the brakes of a tire. It was a 2007 Sedan. I couldn’t make out the color under the poor lighting. The front passenger door flew open and this man in tux came rushing out. Even though it was dark, I could tell the suit was probably Armani or Gucci and the shoes he was wearing could buy my whole apartment. And his hair was dark brown, his eyes were probably dark too or was it just the lighting?

He rushed out of the passenger seat and yelled " hey, Mister, Hey!” It sounded almost desperate. I wanted to run, he probably thought I was a miscreant, after all why would a man in tux waste time with a suicidal homo like me. I pretended not to hear and proceed with my plan just then I could feel  a firm grasp on my arms. This guy. Fuck. What the fuck was he doing? In the spur of the moment, I yelled,

"Mind your own business, damn it! Let me die, please" and tears started rolling down my eyes and burned my cheeks. The floodgates opened. He said "Not today, not today" He got me to the safe side of the bridge; I was still reluctant and pissed at this guy. What on earth, he didn't know anything about me and he was intervening saying shits like, "it's going to be okay and it'll get better” What the fuck?

Fuck him. He didn't know my pain. I told him outright, "Listen Mr. I don’t know who you are, but you should learn to mind your own business, bugger off" with the meanest and cruelest tone I could. I could make out that he smiled at me, what the fuck, those words I just said were the kind of words that would have me on the edge punching the shit outta someone who told me that but here was this stranger who "SMILED?." Was this man high on weed or something? Was my misery a source of amusement for him?

Then I just said “Fuck you " and ran for the other side of the railings and without any second thoughts or remorse, I made the leap that would have me in the waters drowning , gasping for breath. Yes I did. But then guess what? This motherfucker grabbed me. Now this guy was not just high but also an expert at aero gymnastics cause this guy was able to grab my hand in a matter of second and his body was lying flat on the road. He pulled me up and without a word picked me up on his shoulders to which I heavily protested but couldn't win since his built was more masculine than mine and shoved me on the backseat of the car. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was an ‘adultnapper.’ What on earth?


























Sunlight came beaming from the crack of the blindfolds and into my eyelids. My opened my eyes and remembered I was in an unfamiliar setting. The sheets felt different, the pillows were new, and the nightstand was more expensive and my mind remembered the encounter I had with the stranger last night who supposedly ‘Napped’ me against my will. Ugh! What a faggot.

 My phone chimed, I squeezed my eyes to wake them up and looked at my phone screen, and the display let me know that it was a message from Alv.

 “Hey bro, Sry 2 leave like that. Family emergency, hope Mrs. Patmore filled you in. Sty sfe bro. B bck soon, ttyl."

I felt a sense of relief at the moment. Maybe he didn't leave cause of my temper tantrum. Maybe it really was a family matter. At the moment all I could think was what would have happened if I actually dived and drowned? What would have happened if the stranger didn't save me? My mind went back to last night's scenario when whispers from the hallway near the door brought me back to sense. I dragged my fucking post-angry pre-appreciative ass outta bed and made my way for the door to find the guy standing there with a this guy dressed like a butler , 70 or 80s black coat with huge buttons, a white long sleeve shirt and shoes brighter than my prospect in life. His hair was slicked back like a cow had licked it. He excused the 'butler' and turned to me and asked me if I had a sound night and if I needed anything. I shook my head but was still angry for being dragged against my will and brought here. Maybe there was a God. Or maybe fate was being mischievous.

He looked different though, he wasn't dressed in a suit and leather shoes, No. He was wearing sweat pants and the funniest looking tee I've ever seen that had the graphic of "Pokemon" printed on it. This dude whose age might have been a mirror reflection of mine was wearing kid's tee? Seriously?

I didn't realize it when I did it but I chuckled. 

'Excuse me? ‘He said.

'Your tee seems a little childish for your age'.

He made a small grin and dismissed the topic. I was able to compose myself into a normal being and asked

"Why'd you help me?” the words came out more of a whisper but he had heard it. He guided me to the room I woke up in sat me down first and then he sad besides me and said, 

'I'm a psychiatrist, it's my job to help people' I was quick to make a snide comment and said 

'Psychiatrists who rob people of 100$ an hour, I'm sorry I can't pay you for saving me.'

'I don't expect royalties from rogues.' His words stung me and he might've picked up on my facials and he was quick to apologize. I just shrugged and brushed it off.

He continued “When I was 12, my mother committed suicide by hanging herself. At the time I didn't know why but as I grew up I realized she was suffering from depression over the loss of her brother.'

I nodded, suggesting him to continue.

"I came home from school one day and there she was, hanging from the ceiling fan and it was since then I decided I'd help people.'

He left the room without waiting for any sympathetic comments from me and I was quick to follow him. He stopped in the kitchen which was a large square space furnished with wooden tables and cabinets and a small window near the sink. He popped open the fridge and took out two bottles of water, handed one over to me and took the other for himself.

'You didn't know a single thing about me, why'd you rescue me? ‘I said after sipping the chilled water.

He moved closer to me and it was then I realized he had actually brown eyes and towered above me. I was a good 5'11 and he might've been a well over 3-4 inches taller than me. His biceps were puffed but not so much that it ruined his appearance. He had a well defined jaw line and his chest hugged his tee nicely and evenly.

"Because I think fate brought me to that bridge" he said.

I realized I hadn't even had the sense to introduce myself. I was checking him out and was gob smacked by his physique that I forgot what my name was. I felt ashamed. Was I raised in a barn? I didn't extend my hand like I normally would but I managed to introduce myself and he echoed my introduction with his.

"I'm Peter ", he extended his hand expecting a shake and I shook it.

The day went by seemingly okay. It mostly involved Peter and me discussing about my childhood and how I ended up in the bridge last night. He seemed like a calm listener nodding everywhere that seemed apt and eluding the subjects that seemed like deep wounds. He was sitting on a recliner and I was on this fucking comfortable bean bag. For some weird reason the 12 year in me chose the bean bag over the leather couch.









Peter let me go on one condition; that I visit his office on Wednesday and Friday.  I strolled down the busy streets of NYC, sauntering my way towards an abode I was familiar with. It had never dawned on me that everyone in this streets were so caught up in their own web that no one so much so  offered to look up and flash a smile or a grin on anything. I lived here for longer than I can remember and it never came to me.

I reached 'Tim and Isle's cafe' down in the 6th street. Their shop was like walking into a medieval setting. The couch, the chairs, the tables the wallpapers all screamed of the 80s. Heck even the tea cups were clay and not take-away plastic cups. And oh they had no wi-fi, bummer. But nonetheless this was my favorite place to be. Tim and Isle were an old Irish couple that came to NYC for their American dream.

Tim was now into his mid 70s and Isle was still as ravishing as I remember. If I were to guess she looked like a 40 year old but she and Tim had just 1 year difference in their age. They were like the parents I didn't have.

"Sam? The usual I suppose?" asked Isle, I nodded my head in agreement and not less than one minute later Isle came to my table and brought my cappuccino with no foam and no sugar. She flashed her smile at me but I couldn't mimic her smile. I was still shaken and sad inside. I took the cappuccino and placed it on the table.

'Thank you Isle' I said.

'Sweetie you don't need to thank us' I could her old Tim chuckle from the counter. I drank my beverage, paid my money and goodbyes to Tim and Isle and left for my apartment.

The walk home was rather unpleasant. NYC is known for its harsh bone piercing cold. I wasn't dressed to defend the chilly winds. My mind only wandered to one place, or rather a person. Peter. Was it his kindness or that body of a Greek God? I dismissed that thought as I reached my flat and saw an envelope below the door. It was addressed to me.


"Mr. Samuel Winters, I am sorry to say that your lease of the apartment will be expiring soon. I am more saddened to say that I cannot rent out my apartment to you anymore as I plan to expand my business and sell your flat to a business organization. I am writing this in advance so you won't have difficulty in renting a place later on. I am seriously sorry. You've been a good tenant."


- Marco Alvarez, Proprietor, Alvarez Complex.


My lease was expiring in four weeks. This was just great. It was like Satan himself was controlling my life with a universal remote. I took the letter in my hands, yanked the door open and entered and put it besides the suicide letter I had intended for Alvin and my parents. Come to think of it now, it was a momentary lapse in judgment blinded by my amplified pain and losses.

























Sleep wasn't that hard to catch. I wasn't sure if it was the tiredness or the hopes of seeing Peter again tomorrow at his office. My mind wandered somewhere it shouldn't have and that's the last I remember where I had control over my body. I must've dozed off.

"Dr. Peter, come here sexy. He closed the distance between us, I was sitting on the couch and he had on his white coat that doctor's usually wear. He sat on my laps and cupped my jaws with his hand and reached for my lips. The kissing was so intimate. I opened my mouth to welcome his tongue that was now violating my mouth. Before we knew it, we were stripped bare. He was kneeling and writhing like a teenager.  He took a hold of my shaft with his right hand and with his left he explored my torso, pinched my hard nipples. He took my entire length inside his mouth and an involuntary moan escaped me. I swear that mouth could win a gold medal in the Olympics if there was a blowjob contest. He moaned desperately as he got into a smooth rhythm. He sucked the head of my shaft and teased me occasionally by stopping so I grabbed the back of his head and mouth fucked him and before I knew it I came inside his mouth and my whole body was having a spasm........."

Fuck? What ... Ouuhhh.... My alarm went off at 6:00am again! I forgot to disable the damn thing. Just then I remembered about the wet dream and sure enough I could feel the hot thick liquid in my briefs. Now my body was like a teenager. Horny even while dreaming was just the tip of the iceberg. I even came in my sleep. No shit! This guy had messed my brain. The last sex dream I had was when I was a teenager.

I got my sedate body out of the bed, pulled the sheets off and dumped it in the washing machine to wash off the evidence of my little not so guilty pleasure. I remembered the heaters weren't still fixed but I was happy that I was going to meet Peter so I forgot the degree of coldness of the water and took a bath washing everything thoroughly, just 'In case, you know? Booty calls with the dr.

I jogged to the kitchen, set the coffee machine and it made a churning sound. As I waited for it to finish whatever the hell coffee machines do, I busied myself my going over the washing machine and putting the sheets in the dryer. I headed back to the kitchen; saw the suicide letter along with the eviction notice. I took the suicide letter and ripped it into a million pieces before throwing it into the trash. I pulled my phone and it was still 10:45. Still some hours to kill before meeting Dr. Luscious.








I had hit the gym to kill the idle hours. I felt sticky and gooey. So on reaching my flat I made a beeline for the shower. It didn't take me less than thirty minutes to shower, shave, and brush and get dressed. I debated with myself whether to wear a button down shirt with a leather jacket or just a tee shirt with a layer of wool over it. I chose to tee and wool.

I wore dark jeans to go with it and wore my kicks that I bought some few months back. It was actually on discount so I couldn't resist. I carried a muffler with me because New York weather was like a woman’s periods, unpredictable. I gave myself one good look in the full length mirror before approving my outfit. I collected my flat keys, cell and locked the flat behind me as I jogged down the stairs.

Hailing a cab in NYC wasn't difficult. The streets were flooded with myriads of them. Like a pool of daffodils minus the ear piercing honking. I quickly hailed a cab driven a man who looked like he was in his 50s, Latino descend maybe judging by the olive skin.

"Where to sir?" Yep, his accent sealed my speculations, Latino indeed.

"Lanchester street please.” I gave a look at my wristwatch I had received as a present on my 18th birthday and it told me I still had 25 minutes. It was 12:35 now. Our appointment was scheduled for 1:00. At first he offered to 'Treat/console' me for free but I wasn’t raised by barn animals so I offered money like any other patients would. Although I just lost my job I still had some money saved up. Enough to open my own publishing enterprise but the morsel of doubt never let me.

"Sir, we're here."

"Um..How much?"

"25 dollars sir."

I paid him thirty prompting him to keep the change as I sauntered my way into the huge building. It was probably more than 20 storeys high. His office was on the 8th floor according to the details he gave me before our departure. The lobby was spacious with people coming in and going out minding their own business like the people on the streets. I swear you could cut them open and find a stone brick in place of a heart.

I hurried to the elevator as I noticed it was closing. I didn't want to take the stairs to the 8th floor. Fuck no. Enough workout for a day. As the door was just close to closing, as a reflex, I set my right foot forward, jamming the steel doors and stopping it from fully closing. I entered the lift which had already been occupied by a ginger girl.

I acknowledged her presence with a nod and stared at the lift's door until the little screen on the side told me I had reached the 8th floor. I pressed the button to open the door and exited and before I could say goodbye to the girl, the door closed. Okay, RUDE! Jeez.





I reached the right building and the right floor. This was it. Like I needed further proof but up ahead was a door and besides it was a brass board engraved 'Dr. Peter Donovan'. I walked over to the door, it was a glass door, slid it open and before I could take any further step I was greeted by a furry four legged canine. It was wagging its tail haphazardly and excitedly seeing a new face. It barked playfully once or twice and though better and started licking my new kicks. I swear my 6 year old self took over my body and before I could fathom what was happening I found myself kneeling down and playing with the dog's ears cause that was 'THE SPOT' dogs loved. It was like orgasm for dogs to be touched on the ears.

The dog opened its eyes to me as I stopped my petting and I noticed it has eyes as brown as mine and its fur was a combination of brown and white, the paws were black.

"That would be Rex." A voice said in front of me. I stood up noticing I've been actually kneeling down.

"Oh, Hi I'm Sam. I'm here to see Peter.. Um Dr.Peter Donovan?"

"Okay if you would take a seat, I'll be with you in a minute. I'm Melissa"

"Thank you" and I retreated to the corners where the couch was.

The receptionist or "Peter's Girlfriend" was a blonde. Her boobs were slightly showing and the cleavage was there. She had fine tanned legs that were covered only above the knees by her floral dress that was topped with a white blazer. Her hair was tied in a bun but I could tell she had long flowing hair and her smile could catch any man, any day, anywhere. Like a bait. Her cheeks had been played with by some blush her lips were of a dark color I couldn't pin.

She walked over to the desk where the Desktop and the register were. She opened the register and started to skim and stopped at a spot. Maybe she stopped where my name was written for an appointment at 1.

I couldn't help but think Peter was banging this chick and I actually felt kind of sad to know Peter might have a girlfriend. I must've sighed heavily.

"Are you okay?" I was taken off guard.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just tired"

"Okay I've found the appointment and I just need you to sign here" and she produced the register to me. I walked over took a pen and signed the register next to where my name was.

"I'll go inform Pete, make yourself comfortable"

"Call me Sam, and sure" I said feigning a smile.

Pete? His name is Peter. They might've known each other for a long time to be shortening names. Or they may be a...........

"He's ready to see you" she appeared from the door in front of me.

"Okay Thank you" and I made my way towards the door bracing myself, half happy to be seeing him, half sad thinking this blonde might be his partner. And I let out one of those audible sighs again.






















I swear to God the light pierced my eye sockets. His office had one of those full length windows that covered the entire wall opposite to the door and what could be worse? The drapes were open and it was 1 o'clock, bright as ever.

I shut my eyes and opened them quickly again to be greeted by a two dimpled smile. My insides melted. Peter was looking so gorgeous, so yummy. If he were a pizza I’d lick him first, savor every taste, and then devour him.

He had on the same white coat that Doctor's wear. Under it was a simple gray long sleeve shirt. He was wearing black pants and brown shoes. But the thing that sealed the deal on this hunk of a man was his smile and those caramel eyes. I could stare at them all day long. Before I went further into the lust department and probably come in my pants, I reminded myself I needed to be formal and make an impression.

Gosh I didn't even know if he swinged the other way and here I was thinking if he was gay or straight or bi.

"Good afternoon Sam, how are you today?" he asked politely still smiling.

"Sleep was good and I actually feel a tad better." I wanted to know if the blonde outside the waiting room was his girlfriend or just a receptionist, so I casually and nonchalantly as possible tried to bring it up. Well, so much for nonchalant, fuck it. I'm going to dive in. “Is Melissa your girlfriend?"

He chuckled. I was confused. “No Melissa is my niece. She's training here."

"Oh". That was all I could manage. Way the go for first impression.

It was time to bury stupid Sam and bring out Business, Classy, Elegant Sam, but fate wanted a laugh; as I made my way towards the couch, I tripped on the carpet and fell nose first on the hardwood floor. Damn it. I might as well run back to mum proclaiming I'm straight and try to win her back.

I managed to position myself in the couch and Peter was sitting next to me handing me tissues to stop the bleeding from the nose. Embarrassing! The last thing I needed was to be 'Mommied" by a grown man. I tried not to get too excited by his presence near me but my dick had its own notorious brain and twitched inside my jeans. It hurt like fuck.

 I was willing myself not to look at Peter but my eyes kept darting to him. God he was fucking handsome and those plump lips, so much future for those lips. With every dirty thought I had, my dick grew an inch more inside my pants. I tried to hide the growing little guy by placing a small pillow cushion just above my erection but staring at him made me feel like my dick could even penetrate the fabric of the pillow. Well So much for classy elegant Sam.


The counseling went for more than an hour and both of us lost track of time. I hesitated at first but I poured all my secrets to Peter like I knew him for years. I told him about my 'Queerness' and how my parents disowned me after coming out. I told him how I kept fake girlfriends just so I could fit in. I told him how I went to the gym twice a week to man myself up because dad taught 'Gays' were not man enough. I told him about the break up I had with my long time boyfriend Nick and how I was fired from job without a week's notice which all added to my grief and led to think suicide was the way out.

Baring myself in front of Peter made me feel lighter. His presence was just so comfortable. He understood every letter, every word and syllable. He was taking down notes in between, asking me questions to try and pick my brain to help me.

 Between our sessions he asked Melissa to bring coffee twice which made me feel good because he actually thought about my well being, or was it just what psychiatrists do? I was ridiculously attracted to him that everything he did seemed sincere and loving and caring. I couldn't remember the last time when someone sat with and listened to my worries and offered advices, but here was this hunk of a man, dissolving in my grief himself, trying to help me.

I heard the desk phone ring; Peter stood up from where he was seated and walked towards his desk.


“Yeah, Melissa that's fine."

"Take care, see you tomorrow"

"Okay bye"

He turned and started walking towards where he was seated before the phone call." That was Melissa, she was telling me she had to go back to her apartment. Rain check."

"Oh, she seems like a nice niece though." I offered.

"Yeah she is. Her parents died last year. No one offered to look after her, so I offered"

"Oh, that was so selfless of you. Not many guys like you out there.." I tried to use this moment to pick his brain too."Girls must go crazy for you; I wonder how and why you're still single."

I'm pretty sure I heard him swallow air before responding, "Well yeah, If only I swing that, I haven't told my parents yet though, only Melissa knows, she found my adult magazines." He winked at me with the last word.

I swear on Mary's sweet name my stomach did a back flip and my brain was whacked with the fireworks that were going inside. Did I hear it right? He is gay? Thank you Jesus!

I tried not to seem so excited like a hormonal teen one direction fan. Instead I played it cool.

"Well you should hide your stash properly. Kids these days are better than the CIA"

He chucked, "Yeah learned that the hard way. She doesn't mind though. She's been supportive."


I took out my phone from my pocket and looked at the time. It was 4:48. What? Has it been more than 3 hours? Jeez, times flies when you're having a good time. I involuntarily let out one of those sighs again. Peter noticed and asked with concern on his face, "What's wrong?"

"It's been more than 3 hours; you surely must have other patients. I'm sorry to have taken up your time."

He dragged his seat closer towards me, leaned forward, placed his palms on my thighs and met my gaze.

"It's okay, I asked Melissa to clear out all the other patients today to make time for you."

I didn't know how to respond to that. It was so thoughtful and yet it was a huge loss for his business so I empathetically offered, "I'll pay for the extra hours too."

Then without having time to even blink, his hands cupped my face. Oh so warm and so good. Fuck, his touch was making my little buddy down there restless again. He let his thumb trace circles on my cheek and finally said,

"Hey, It was the least I could do, I don't want the extra money but.."

"But what?" my curiosity was provoked.

"You have to take me out for coffee Mr. Samuel." he grinned.

My heart wanted to erupt and bounce from my chest. My mind wasn’t registering anything. Everything seemed hazy. No! No! Do not faint in front of a hottie. Sam control.

"Are you sure you want to have coffee with a suicidal homo?"

"I'm pretty sure, else I wouldn't have requested. Now, yes or no?" he gave me a half smile that made me feel like goo.

"Okay Dr. Peter Donovan. Coffee, tomorrow after your work?"

"Sure." And as he stood up and stretched, he leaned closer again to my ears and whispered," It's a date" He grinned and looked at his watch and decided it was time to wrap it up.







Sleep came hard. My mind was restless and divided into million different pieces. I turned left, right, laid on my back, pulled the cover way up to cover my head but no tactics worked. My eyes and my mind were connected and awake.

I looked over at my bedside clock and the numbers highlighted in neon red showed 4:45am. Since I couldn't sleep, I decided to jog. I put on my running shoes, my shorts and a tank top. Hooked my mp3 player to an earpiece and placed the mp3 in my pocket and the ear piece in my ears.

I made my way to the kitchen, opened the fridge and chucked some milk. I made my way out, locked the door shut, and started jogging down the stairs.

There was something about the early hours of the day that always played with my curiosity. Everything and everyone were asleep, preparing to tackle the day. How the empty streets would soon be filled by yellow cabs and fuel conserving cyclists. How the breeze of the morning smelled like fresh dew and leaves and how the sun would lazily make its way up the horizon to shine light into the former darkness.

I jogged as Beyonce's 'single ladies' blasted in my ear phones. The song had a catchy tune and rhythm apt for jogging. I reached the central park. It was surprising to even see a lush green park with grass and fountains in a metropolitan city as New York. I jogged 5 laps of the park and decided to head back and shower and get ready for my ' It's a date' with Peter.

Jogging back, my mind raced back to the events of yesterday and how Peter was sitting in close proximity to me. His heat reaching my skin and piercing it making my blood hot and rush to my groin. Thinking of all that made my little buddy wake up, slowly but surely. I was glad I was wearing loose pants to hide the growing erection, or else it would be an embarrassment. Morning wood while jogging.

I managed to reach home without anyone noticing the odd shape of my pants in the groin area. I took out my mp3 and earpiece and kept it aside on my nightstand. I sauntered my way into the shower though the heater was not yet repaired; I dared and took a cold shower to wake myself up.

 The hours of no sleep the previous night was starting to show under my eyes. I got under the shower and braced myself for the cold water and sure enough I made a groan and took a step back when the water first hit my back. It was fucking cold. I rubbed everywhere necessary and started applying the shower gel on the arms and to my back, front, dick, ass cheeks, thighs, calves, and shin.After every inch of my body was thoroughly cleaned by the gel, I started the shower again and rinsed the foam off my body.

I made my way out of the shower shivering. My teeth were chattering like teens spreading gossips. I dried myself with the towel and quickly slipped onto my red and black plaid shirt and my dark jeans. I wore boots that came up to my ankles to hide the excess material of the jeans inside it and topped my look off by applying some hair gel onto my hair. I put a tad more of cologne than required because, let's be real, I needed to smell nice and get Dr.'s attention on me.

Before I left the apartment, I did a once over of my outfit in the full length mirror inside my room, quickly did the, wallet, phone, keys check in my pocket and after being satisfied, I made my way out and locked the door behind me.

As I reached the floor below me, Mrs. Patmore was coming up after taking her dog for a walk. The dog came and smelled me, as If I were something foreign and quickly went inside their apartment.

"Sam, going somewhere? Don't you look handsome today."

"Thanks Mrs. Patmore. Umm Yeah I have a date but I don't want to jinx it."

"It's okay lad, be yourself. Have fun"

"Will sure do, see you then. Have a great day."

"Have a great day" she said as she went inside and closed her door.

[To be continued].























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