Coronavirus and me!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: May 21, 2020

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Submitted: May 21, 2020

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I reflect back to the time before COVID-19 when I was an underemployed online college student leaving with his parents at age 31. Could anything possibly be worse? 

My parents whom I live with are both divorced and the only thing they really have in common is sex and I myself have never known the double edged sword that is a relationship. I was unhappy as an antisocial misfit on Antidepressants. When the hospitals became cowards fearing even so much as a sneeze I lost access to ecitalopram oxolate and I find it just as depressing off the drugs as I did on them if such a thing is even possible. Still the changes outside have brought me fresh new hope.

I am actually greatful for the disease spreading globally despite all the death and economic hardship it has caused. Why do you ask? What could an already emotionally crippled shell of a human being hope to gain from watching a great depression unfold before his own troubled eyes? Let me explain!

As an autistic male with good but mixed academic and employment background I have never felt any kinship towards my fellow man. They came from their perfect families and enjoyed the sexual misadventures of youth while I suffered alone in silence living with an alcoholic father and meth addicted older brother. Their wealthy parents paid for their college while I had to work over twelve dead-end jobs to pay for each credit I earned. All has changed thanks to the disease!

Now the once strong, intelligent, good-looking men and women filled with pride see the nothing that they have become. The self worship of youth has been silenced by the ravages of unemployment like I was after I graduated high school and I hope they suffer just as long as I did.... A full five years with nothing to do but play video games and watch their relatives decend further into madness.

Yes... I can't say I am not a little happy watching all the world slowly die because of this disease.

At my current job as a gas station worker I used to be timid and afraid always fearing that I could be fired over anything or nothing. Customers called me names and each name took away a little of what was left of my humanity. I never smiled, not even once after eight full months. These days since the blessing that is pestilence I find that the customers have become afraid of each other and of me. Just seeing these big, macho construction guys once so cocky with their good paying jobs all become drunks blowing their stimulus checks on scratch off tickets still brings the most evil grin to my face. It's as if God decided that I was right after all. This world is a joke... and everything in it must suffer.

I wear a mask only to appease my meaningless employer but I think they are more afraid of lossing me completely then ever before. Who would clean the toilets if I choose to become a full time student and take out a loan to finish my degree? Who would cook the food and peddle the cigarettes? I do pretty much as I like. Not even my direct supervisor bothers to push me around because he would never lower himself to do half the things I do for that place.

Hearing all this belly aching about lost jobs and lost lives makes me greatful for even the possibility that someone may in fact be suffering worse then me. 

You are all becoming me! All living in fear of what will happen next! All disconnected and alone! This is the Hell you all deserve!


© Copyright 2020 The Darkest Soul. All rights reserved.

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