word


alone, but yet strong as stone,

but yet i seem alone from my serenity

and shagging from omens, that seem to be accruing in a daily struggle,

so it shall seem,

high as the tide,low as a frown,

sad like a window, time is my crown,

let me shine like the shining, be fourth i lay down,

till the uncompromising era, that moves quickly,

close to its victim, never slows, just as fast as a swift motion,

with the omens passing me along like used subtitles,

till i feel the joy in the seasons to come with no omens in sight

than i shall have my awakening! than i shall be free!

never shall i pass judgement nor judgement be passed upon me!

i seem tired, i must awake soon! can i not dream but yet live!


Submitted: July 24, 2010

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Comments

Capman

Quite a nice write, Interesting images and similes used to portray emotion.
Not sure if you should use 'but yet' twice in the first two lines.
Think you mean high as the tide, not tied.
Did you intend shiny, or shinny?
Oh and before and be fourth don't mean the same thing. Be fourth means to come fourth in something.

Otherwise as far as I can see, top stuff here.

Sat, July 24th, 2010 3:22am

Author
Reply

thanks man,thanks for the spelling mistakes, i changed them, also i meant be fourth i do know the meaning of the phrase that's what i meant but i know how it reads you could intrepid it either way, but thanks man for your comment!

Sun, July 25th, 2010 5:16am

Azaleas secrets

Pretty deep! i dont know whether being able to percieve omens is a blessing or a curse because all can not understand them. Foreknowledge is a torture as well as a bliss. This poem painted a majestic scene and the voice of resolve was unmistakably clear and lucid.

Sat, July 24th, 2010 10:57am

Author
Reply

i know omens can mean many things, in different cultures and also in can be short of different meaning, but its like a sign of warning sign of evil that's the way i think of the word but it also could be a sign of good,or some people think its a spirit or demon but i go by the definition of the word, a sign of warning, some say it could be a angle but i just went with the definition of the word, kinda like demigod which also has lots of many but i went with the definition of the word, well anyway i like your comment as always hope all is well and i thank you for your comment

Sun, July 25th, 2010 5:11am

cloudsgrey

i like the flowing

Sun, July 25th, 2010 3:44pm

Author
Reply

thank you

Mon, July 26th, 2010 6:30am

Shweta

Hmmm...tried really hard..but cudnt get whole of the poem.:-(...but i liked it.And i guess u have done a wonderful job...omens can be bad as well as good.

Wed, July 28th, 2010 10:55am

Author
Reply

yes i know, thank you for the comment,

Fri, July 30th, 2010 2:50am

jeffhzlprk

I liked this poem!

Sat, July 31st, 2010 6:57pm

Author
Reply

thank you

Sun, August 1st, 2010 12:44am

charlamaye

nice peom do you wanna see mine

Mon, May 9th, 2022 12:31am

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