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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A the tragicly hillarious (almost) true story from years ago. It's one of my older works, so please excuse any bad editting.

Submitted: March 09, 2008

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Submitted: March 09, 2008



This is the almost true story of a man one fateful April day in 2000. Only the names are changed to protect the almost innocent.

A young man by the name of Peter, was carrying a few of shopping bags and walked into a pet shop one afternoon. He was finishing up his rounds and all that was the pet shop. Tim the sales clerk, also a young man, stood up and asked "Is there anything I can help you with today sir?"

Peter set down his bags and replied "Why yes. I'm looking for a cat. Do you have any cats?"

"You're in luck. We have lots of cats. Not to many people are buying right now. What kind are you looking for?" Tim asked. He could taste the sale. "Well, it has to be grey and white. I can't remember the name of the breed... aaaaah. I'll just show you what it supposed to look like." Peter answered as he reached into a bag. Tim looked down, expecting to see a picture. Peter instead dropped a dead cat on the counter. "It has to look like that. It's my roommate's cat. He's visiting his mother in TO and the cat met with an accident. Can you help me out?" He asked.

Tim, in shock, asked "An accident?"

"Ok, I killed it." Peter confessed. "Now, about the replacement."

"You killed your cat?"

"Yes. We've established that, and it wasn't my cat. It was my roommate's cat. I'm going to have a hard enough time training the new cat. I don't need more trouble from you. Now about the animal."

"Why should I sell you one?"

"Because it's your job. I say, the customer service here is attrocious. You're just lucky I didn't buy the cat here or I'd make you guys replace it." Peter yelled. "Now, do you have any cats for me?"

Tim ran his fingers through his hair and sighed "Well. We do have grey and white cats, but they have longer fur."

"Hmmmm. Do you have any scissors or electric razors for animals?"

"You're gonna shave the cat? That's cruelty!"

"Now you're just knit-picking."

Tim got angry and pointed to the door. He yelled "Get your stinking carcass out of here, and take the cat with you!"

Peter waved his hands about and said "Oooooooo. Witty Tim. Funny man. Well the joke's on you. I'm going to call your manager." He picked up the cat and his bags and left.

Peter walked out to the parking lot. He held the cat by the tail and growled "Aaaawww hell with this! I'll just tell him the thing ran away." He held it above a garbage can when he got an idea.

Peter stood on the road in front of his main floor apartment and left the cat on the road. "Heh heh heh!" He chuckled. A truck sped down the road and he got out of the way. "Problem solved."

The End

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