Quick finish

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is kind of a sequel to another story i have in mind. I wrote it for a contest when i didn't have any ideas for a short story. Well if someone likes it i might write about the story this came from.

Submitted: January 29, 2016

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Submitted: January 29, 2016



Ugh, we just had to get attacked on our honeymoon.

  • Speak like a man will you. What’s killing a few people now after what we’ve been through?
  • Ugh, you’re a woman act like it. Why’d I have to marry an amazoness like you?
  • Got complaints?
  • Ugh, let’s just get this over with.

If you’re confused about this situation I’ll explain. I am a thief by profession but I’m also extremely skilled at fighting with a knife, the names Aven Hawk. My wife, the woman who talks and thinks like a man, is an amazoness meaning she’s from a tribe of women warriors, her names Alkaia. We met on, or should I say we were stranded on, a deserted island. For some reason we got mixed up in some guys scheme to kill a prince or king or something, anyway for some reason we got kidnapped instead. So we, by that I mean she, decided we should fight. After a week there we managed to kill the guy and escaped but also for some reason I fell for her and vice versa. So we got married and went on a honeymoon, and now we are attacked by some strange guys.

  • Hahahahah. Is that all you’ve got? – She said as she chopped of the heads of two of these guys with her giant battle axe.
  • Ugh, leave at least one alive.
  • Why? It’s easier to just kill them all.
  • Ugh, it’s easier but we need to find out why they’re attacking us.
  • Ooooooh, that’s my man for you. You’re really smart.
  • Waaaaaaaait. Don’t kill me. I’ll tell you whatever you want, just don’t let that monster of a woman near me. - one of the men screamed out just as Alkaia was about to chop him in pieces.
  • What did ya say? I’m gonna kill ya for that.
  • Ugh, wait. Alright goon number 15 tell us who sent you and why.
  • Goon number 15? Ah, doesn’t matter you remember the guy who kidnapped you?
  • Yeah what about him little man?
  • Well you didn’t actually kill him. And he’s coming here now.

Ugh, well that was kind of expected. Well no point of running I guess.

  • So what now?
  • Ugh, kill him, and then we wait for their boss.
  • What? No you said y-
  • Ugh, I never said I wouldn’t kill you. – just as I said that I slit his throat – Also I’m mad for calling her a monster.
  • Awww, that’s sweet are you sure you’re the man from the both of you.

Suddenly a man walked in through the door along with two others. It was the moron that we failed to kill on the island. Just as he was about to begin his evil speech about revenge I threw my dagger at him. It went straight through his skull. It was rather funny how he just flopped down on the floor.

  • Ugh, it’s a little anticlimactic, but I prefer if we just end this now. And I suggest to the two of you to just take the corpses and go.
  • R-r-r-r-right!
  • So what now?
  • Ugh, want to go get something to eat?
  • Sure!

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