These Things I'll Never Say ... And I Only Asked You 1.000 Times!

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fan Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
OneShot SongFic JP/LE.

Lily breaks out of her denial, and realises that she is madly in love with James. But how does she tell him?
And will she say yes, when James asks her out for the 1.000 time?

Using the song 'Things I'll Never Say' by Avril Lavigne (Bella's favorite song).

Written by Avery (Longs).

Submitted: May 31, 2010

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Submitted: May 31, 2010

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A/N: To reach full emotional effect from reading this, listen to the song while reading. -Avery-

These Things I'll Never Say

Written and Edited by Avery

Lily Evans was staring at the celing. Her mind was filled with fuzz, and she was tired. She mostly wanted to sleep, but she knew that would not be possible. Because today she realised something. Something that had changed everything she ever believed in.

She was madly in love with James Potter.

The same James Potter who always pulled her hair when they were firstyears, the one who sent her a singing toad in second year, the one who asked her out in third year fourth year fifth year sixth year ... but not seventh year. And it bugged her. A lot.

That James.

And now she was all fuzzy and warm inside, but she didn't know how to tell him that she liked him. Fancied him. Was in love with him.

She actually kind ofrealised this just before summer break, when he had asked her out the last time. She realised that she cared enough to count the times he'd asked her out.

999 times.

999 times!!!

She stood out of bed, decided to go for a walk. She knew that she shouldn't break the rules, that she was Head Girl and all. But she just needed to calm her head. She took on a too big creme sweater, a couple old blue jeans, and a bathrobe, as odd as it sounds.

She slowly tiptoed down to the commonroom. Everyone was asleep. She snok out the portrait hole, not wanting to wake the Fat Lady.

She sighed with relief when she finally reached the school grounds.

The cold wind hit her face, and the moon weakly reflected in her emerald green eyes. The fresh breeze blew some of her aburn hair away from her eyes, and let her see the beautiful black night sky. She slowly moved towards the lake, towards the tree where students were usually studying when the weather allowed it. She truly hoped that she was the only one who was out here tonight.

But she was wrong.

Under the tree, she saw James Potter. He was looking across the lake, peacefully smiling, like he was thinking about something nice. She just stood there for a moment and watched him, before she spoke.

"James?" she said softly. He turned his head towards her, and his ees widened in surprise.

"Lily." he said and smiled happily.

"Can I join you under the intrigiung tree?"she asked. He chuckled.

"Sure."

Lilysat down next to him.

Maybe I should tell him now ...ahe took a strand ofher hair betweenher fingers, and examined it.

I'm tuggin' at my hair
I'm pullin' at my clothes
I'm tryin' to keep my cool
I know it shows

"You okay?" he asked.

"Uhm, yeah."she awkwardly answered.

"So, what are you doing here?"

"Couldn't sleep." she answered.

She accidentaly looked at him. His hazel eyes met her for a second, and she blushed a deep red. James smiled, he enjoyed making her blush.

I'm staring at my fate
My cheeks are turning red
And I'm searching for the words inside my head

"So why couldn't you sleep?" he asked. Lily sighed as she thought about the reason. The words came and dissapeared in her disturbed lovesick teenage-girl mind.

"Emotional dilemma." she answered shyly.

"Emotions can be tricky, but the easiest thing is to try and ignore them, and hope they go away. In some cases they never fade though." he said sadly. Lily curiously looked at him. He sounded like he'd experienced this himself.

"I've been ignoring them for a long time, but they never seem to fade. They grow stronger every day, and they are all I dream about at night." I said.

"Exactly." James said. "It's like a lot of things you want to say, but never will. And if you do, you somehow manage to ruin everything."

Lily nodded.

"It's like you're trying to be so perfect for this one person, but he never notices that you try the hardest you can."

"And when you finally decided to tell them, you feel so bloody nervous, and then you just blurt something random out." he said.

"Or you shout them in the face." Lily said.

'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it
Yeah ...

"You know something James?" Lily asked him. He looked at her.

"I know a couple of things, but you probably have some new exiting information to share." he replied.

"You have asked me out ninehundred and ninty-nine times."she said. He looked at her, his hazel eyes were wide in surprise.

"You counted them?" he asked.

"After the fifth time you asked, I started to count."Lily said.

"Why the hell did you do that?"

Lily shrugged.

"No idea." she lied.

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you--away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could see what I want to see
I want to see you go down--on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

"James?" Lily said again.

"Mmm?"

Tell him.

Tell him ...

Tell him!

But what does he care? thought Lily. He dosen't care if I fancy him.

But Lily, a tiny voice in her head said. If you're not telling him, you're not going anywhere.

It don't do me any good it's just a waste of time
What use is it to you what's on my mind?
If it ain't comin' out, we're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care?

'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it
Yeah...

If I could say what I wanna say
I'd say I want to blow you--away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could see what I wanna see
I want to see you go down--on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say ...

James looked at Lily. He admired her stunning emerald eyes, and her beautifully curled hair, her delightful pale skin and her cheeks who, when the flushed, had the most adorable faint shade of pink. Lily Evans didn't often blush, but when she did she looked prettier then ever.

Lily looked at James. Why couldn't she just spill? Why the bleeding hell couldn't she just say what she wanted to say?

I'm doing it! the voice in her head shouted.

Lily opened her mouth, but after a minute she closed it again.

(What is) What's wrong with my tongue?
These words keep slipping away
(I stutter)I stutter (I stumble)I stumble like I've got nothing to say

'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it
Yeah ...

Why couldn't they both just tell eachother what they felt?

James looked down at Lily, and suddenly their eyes met. His hazel eyes were glued to her green ones for a long moment.

"What's you favourite colour?" she asked whispering.

"Green." he murmured, a smile appeared on his lips. "Yours?"

"Hazel." she wispered.

They slowly leaned closer ...

I guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you--away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could see what I want to see
I want to see you go down--on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

These things I'll never Say ...

"Lily Evans, do you want to go out with me?" James asked. They were laying in the grass, he had his arms around her.

"Yes." she mumbled.

Right then a shooting star flew across the sky ...

"And it only took me one thousand tries."

The End!


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