Reflections of the Madame

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
This poem was written in July of 2006. I finally got free of the abusive relationship in August of 2005. By the summer of 2006 I had an entire winter of silence in the stairwell to think it all over....these were some of the thoughts.
Thoughts involving a neighbor that was also in the same boat as I was. recovering from his own traumatic relationship.
Thoughts about how neither of us had the courage to step forward toward one another and give it shot.
He returned to his messy relationship.
I moved on.

Submitted: July 24, 2009

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Submitted: July 24, 2009




I keep on standing here

Waiting to see

If you or anyone else

Is just gonna turn around

And look right at me.

I keep coming up empty

So much so, that I cease to even care

Whether you can feel me

Or even that I am still the only one standing here.

In the beginning I cried

In the middle I demanded

In the end I just got numb

Not allowing myself to feel anything at all

Stranded and deafened in the silent hum.

I sit on the empty stair

Thinking it all over again

Knowing that eventually I'll just return to Mad Hatter land

I ask myself, what is the sense

In exposing my broken heart and opening my empty hand?

Would it be for some great big dream in the sky?

'Cause that is exactly what I've made you into in my mind

Maybe it's for all the world's wisdom,

You have to die to ever find.

Exposure will never change the past reality

Of all the times I needed you to stay

But you went instead

And it won't change

The weakness in me that needs you to fix the broken space inside my head.

Just once I needed you to look over here

I needed to just know

That you were still there

That you saw right through me, past the infernal wall

Through all the flash, all the fire, the endless show.

But you've never been able to really see me

Just as I close my eyes when I look at you

And more than anything, just this once

It was all I wanted and needed, but couldn't do.

© Copyright 2020 The Mysterious Serious Madame. All rights reserved.

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