The Boss's Banquet (Embarrassing Spouses)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Please read my short story The Boss's Banquet (Embarrassing Spouses).

Dawn was going to have dinner at her bosses house. She had a husband, Robert, who was going to accompany her, but she was worrid about her spirited, imprudent husband drinking to much and saying things that were insensitive.

"I wont drink to much," Robert said, in his over-bearing voice, "I will be on my best behaviour - scouts honer - and will be quite the social butterfly."

"That's what I am worried about," said Dawn, disparingly, "just keep your mouth shut and don't drink a thing. I know you, when you've got a few drinks under you belt, you'll think your the life of the party, and with little regard for the importance of making a good impression with my boss, you'll gossip, you'll rave drunkenly and you'll come out with all crude and shovenistic narrative, as humanly possible.

Dawn was a pretty lady, and her husband was a handsome man. He was very witty, had a big belly from excess indulgence. This wit and large belly combined to produce a tendancy of the most rip-roaring, jiggling, painful belly-laughs. He got extreemly caught up in his own wit and would have episodes of utter oblivion not stopping until he had released all secrets. He was very handsome for his bucksome disposition, very likable - a sweet man, and Dawn loved him.

He adjusted his gold-rimmed specticals and smiled and his red, alcohol-bloodshotted cheeks showed from jowls of limp flesh.

"Darling Dawn, I am sorry, sometimes, that I am a bit vulgar, and crude, but I love you, still, even if I do sometimes drink to much, and blabber to much. I will try and only have a few drinks when meeting, this person so important to you, your boss."

"That's all I ask," said Dawn, but she wasn't hopeful. The proof would be in the pudding.

Dawn was wearing a blue, woolen skirt and matching blue jacket, and a white blouse as they made their way to the car that evening. Robert a suit with colourful tie.

At length, they drove to the bosses house and were knocking at his door.

"Hello Dawn, and this must be Robert." The man said, holding out his hand, for a shake.

"Good guess," Robert said, letting out an awfully loud laugh.

"Quickly lets go to the dinner table before the food gets cold," said the boss.

The boss had a red-head wife with a long nose. The boss introduced her as Kath. And, himself, as Mr Benheart. The boss was a very civil, polite man, indeed, but his wife let out long, terrifying nasal laughs. He wore a suit, with bland tie, and, she, a purple and yellow striped woolen skirt and jacket.

They sat at the table and Kath, the bosses wife, served beans, roast potatos, and roast lamb, with lots of gravey. Robert, with his usual excessive movements, poured a red wine.

"A red wine to wet the belly!" he said.

The bosses wife let out a thunderous, un-timed, terribly-nasel laugh. The boss, Mr Benheart, looked ashamed.

Kath finished her laugh and sighed, "Ahh, to wet the belly, very funny! very funny!"

"I must congratulate you on your tie," Robert started laughing, and tried to muffle it, "it's as plain as plain-flour - and that's plain."

Kath let out another nasal laugh. Mr Benheart and Dawn were discusted, and ashamed of their spouses. Robert promised not to drink, and now his drinking bucket loads, like a pig at a trough and, telling these untasteful jokes.

Dinner was over.

"That was nearly better than Maccas," Robert said. Then, this comment, was again, followed by Kath's roaring nasal laughter.

The two sober ones and the two drunkards didn't feel very civil to one and other.

"Let's go to the sitting room," Dawn's boss said.

Dawn was relieved separating from her embarrasing husband. It was a great idea. They sat in the sitting room:

"Oh, my wife is so embarrasing," the boss said.

"No. Hardly as embarrasing as my husband," Dawn said.

"I hardly noticed," said the boss.

"Oh, well, he was crude and shovenistic and a utter embarrasment."

"My wife laughed to much."

"But, not as bad as my husband."

"Lets agree to disagree, we both have crazy partners."

After that they had quite a good evening. They talked of work and business. Occasionally, they would hear, crazed laughter from the other room. At this they just shook their heads. The evening wasn't a total loss, they did salvage some mature conversation from it.


Submitted: August 20, 2013

© Copyright 2020 The Sheep. All rights reserved.

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