Valentines Day and an Old Nemesis

Reads: 710  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 2

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

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Please read my short story Valentines Day.

I never caught taxis. I thought the cost was just to absorbitant. Between looking out the window, I would regularly check the price on the meter. It was slowely creeping up, the digital numbers flickering upwards way to fast. I felt panicy.

This was Valintines day though, and catching a taxi tonight was a special treat. It was a thumbnail moon and the lights above the highway moved along the roof of the car like retinal scans. It was valintines day though, I wanted to score love but I vowed this is the last taxi I will ever catch.

I arrived at town and payed the taxi driver his due, not a penny more, by the credit card system. The taxi driver, I thought excited about such a large fair, ran over a curb bumpily as he sped off - around a corner.

I looked for a pub that I thought satisfactory. It was called the quench and purge. And I thought it a likely place. It had high ceilings with chandeliers and couches - with patrons reclining on - amply spread through.

I bought a beer and fully expected love to catch me like a invisible spiders silk, like a well oiled up fly. But first I needed more oil. "Another beer", I said to the barkeep.

I was being a social butterfly fully expecting to be caught in a spiders silk of a one night stand, when my old high school nemisis Deniss McCaw came in.

I was expecting to be approached by sofisicates with dry beauty but instead I had to talk to Dennis McCaw. I wasted that huge taxi fare for this, I'll catch the bus home.

Dennis bullied me at school because one year I had worn turtlenecks. He used to ambush me after school; empty my bag, give me noogies in my hair, or punch me in the sternum. He stopped bullying me though, when I kicked the winning goal in school footy, playing for a team named The Vengeful Seal Pups. I was school hero, yet he still harbored resentment for me.

"What are you doing with your life? I bet he's a loser". He said to his friends smiling a non recipricated smile.

"I am not a loser, I work at the cafe" I said feeling hopelessly that I could be considered a failure.

I decided to leave the pub to get away from Dennis McCaw. I caught the bus home. Valentines day was fruitless. But there are plenty more of those... and life holds a lot.


Submitted: February 15, 2013

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Comments

smircle

It started off well, but it didn't really go anywhere. The person started off sad and lonely and they ended up the same. Nothing was learnt and nothing really happened. A story can't just be a bunch of words strung together; they have to have a meaning, do something to/for the reader.
You're only new here, so read around other people's work and get some ideas and advice. You have good potential and the story could go somewhere.
Good luck :)

Sat, February 16th, 2013 6:25pm

Author
Reply

Thankyou for your comment. Sorry you weren't happy with my story. I will try and work on my endings. I am just trying to write at the moment so I can get better. Thanks.

Sun, February 17th, 2013 5:02pm

writing princess

This story is sad. Plus, I like how the story is realistic. The protagonist pretty much stays the same and doesn't have these supernatural events that happen that just makes everything go great for him so it can correlate to every day life. Great story :):)

Sun, March 3rd, 2013 5:34am

Author
Reply

Thanks writing princess for being my biggest fan. your a very good reader and can't wait to go on you page and check out your writing.

Wed, March 6th, 2013 2:51am

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