Bitter Sweet Bliss

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Saying goodbye is sometimes the hardest, yet most rewarding thing to do.

Submitted: October 18, 2010

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Submitted: October 18, 2010

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“Goodnight My Darling Angel.” I smiled at the sound of my favorite pet name but the joy the name brought was quickly washed away by a wave of sorrow and sadness. I had no idea when I would hear it next, or even his voice for that matter.
Then before I could even finish the thought he had pulled me to my feet. I stared up at him and knew that he could see the pain and worry in my eyes. I hated my eyes; they were the only thing that gave me away. Maybe it’s just him though, maybe he just knows me all too well. It doesn’t matter how he knows, what matters is that he knows and I wish he didn’t. It makes things so much more difficult.
“Mick?” I didn’t notice he had started talking. “Yes?” I answered. “Are you okay?” he whispered. That was a stupid question; I know he already knows the answer. I mumble “Yes.” “You’re lying.” He says with a smile. I knew I was right.
He reached out and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Tell me what’s wrong.” My arms found their way around his neck. “I’m scared.” He pulled me closer. “So am I…” That’s not the answer I was expecting. I hear him laughing to himself, it must be a reaction to my expression, he’s always been able to read me. “I’m scared too, but I know it’ll be okay. We will be okay. We’ve already been through so much; I know we’ll make it.” Wow he kind of has a point…
I lay my head against his chest savoring our last few moments together. “Mick?” I can hear a twinge of pain in his voice, here it comes, the knife. I look up and before I can register what’s happening his lips are on mine. His hands on my lower back holding me tight to his body. It’s our last truly passionate moment, our goodbye.
This is definitely one for the books. A terribly, wonderful, bitter-sweet moment. Shear bliss. Followed by the kind of pain no one should ever have to endure. But I’m not thinking about the pain, I’m not even thinking. I’m just feeling and right now I feel amazing, like I’ve been completely consumed by happiness.
And just like that it’s over. As quickly as it began, it ended. I can see him saying something but I can’t hear it. I assume its goodbye, that’s the only thing left to say. I’m fighting back the pain but the levies are breaking. I’m not going to let him see me like this so I turned to walk away, forgetting he was still talking. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back gently.
How am I supposed to react? Do I run, do I cling to him and never let go? I don’t want to leave! And with that thought my irrational side wins. I throw my arms around his neck, hold on to him with everything I’ve got, burry my face in his chest and beg him not to go. Even though I know it won’t change the outcome, maybe I’ll buy my heart some more time.
That’s it, the fall is cushioned. His hand strokes the back of my hair telling me “It’s okay, everything will be alright. Please don’t cry Sweetheart, I’m here for you. Shhhh, it’s alright Love.” He lifts up my chin and wipes the tears away.
“Mick, please look at me…” I look into his eyes. It’s impossible to look into his eyes without becoming completely submerged in them. They surround you, blocking out everything around you. All the noise, all the people, everything, it’s all gone. It’s just him and I now.
I can see inside of him just like he can see inside of me. The strength he shows on the outside is just a shield now for the pain on the inside he doesn’t want me to see. “Why does it hurt so badly?” I whisper, trying to keep my voice steady. “Because when something is real and nobody believes it except the people involved directly it’s like acid eroding away at a rare gem. The difference is that as much as it burns and strips away our defenses, it can’t destroy us. We, unlike the gem are so much stronger and become stronger rather than crumbling as expected. Just because I have to go doesn’t mean I want to or that I love you any less. I promise you I’m not leaving for good too. I’ll always be with you, in your heart for as long as you want me to be. I belong to you.” Before he could finish I interrupt “And I to you.” “That’s right.” He says with a smile. “I love you Mick, with everything I can muster and I’ll always love you.” “I love you too.” And just as the words fall from my lips, his are there, kissing me. I’m filled with bliss once more. I hear him whisper in my ear, the heat of his breath starting a fire within. “Goodbye My Darling Angel.” I make my way back to reality and he’s gone. I guess I heard those words sooner than I thought.


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