Her shoulders shook uncontrollably as I stared coldly into her eyes. It was like trying not to grimace when thrown onto astake of fire. Her clear blue eyes penetrated my soul, in ways it should've been illegal.
"You don't have to go," she whispered through her streaming tears. I looked away, breaking myself from the trap of her eyes that mesmerized me, and stared relentlessly to the ground as her voice sent waves of sorrow crashing over my numbing mind.
Of course Ihad to let her go. She had to live her life without me. I was hindering her future, just as her father had said.
"You're only going to make things worse, Austin." I tried to argue back, defending myself as hard as I could.
"I love her! I can't live without her!" His sneer was a slap to the face. Her father had never liked me. Even when we were friends, he always scolded her for talking with me. Because I was low class, an insignificant boy who would never reach the limits of our town's skirts. And she was Upper class. . . fabulously wealthy, with beauty that could surpass the brilliance of a millions galaxies colliding together. Her love was enough to have me falling on my knees, and her touch could have taken any stubborn man. She had chosen me, for some reason, beneath the extreme ordinary appearance, and found my heart appealing.
But she deserved so much more than me. Her talents went without saying, and her mind was extraordinarily gifted.
And now that finally had her, I was letting her go. In order to leave her, I was going to have to break her heart.
My heart twisted and thumped blindly against my chest.
The silence was absolute, almost as if it clarified what I was doing.I grounded my teeth and prepared myself for the lies I was about to say. The disgust I felt for myself almost seemed like it could be heard in large volumes. Beyond the silence it screamed from within my empty body.
"Yes, I do! How could I have fallen for someone as ignorant as you! You're only holding me back, Emily! You're only deluding yourself into thinking I would have gone with you." Her sob bubbled from her throat, ringing through the rain that pounded on outside her apartment.
Instinctively my hand reached how to hold her. It was far worse pain, beyond what I could imagine, seeing her cry. I was the reason for her suffering.
"I'm s-sorry--sorry, Austin. I didn't m-mean to hur-hur-hurt you." Another round of sobs rolled from her mouth.
I warred with myself asI watched her cry. You're doing this for her benefit, you're doing this for her benefit, I kept chanting to myself.
"I don't want your apologies," I snapped. "I need to leave. I don't need to say anything else, Emily. Enough has been said." I whirled around, gripping my hands as the urge to turn around rammed into me. To turn around and beg for her forgiveness and love.To grovel on my knees until they bled. But this as me, saying I loved her more than anyone else ever had. Because I was creating a place where she wasn't held back by me. Her future was clear now.
I was gone.
I half-expected for her to grab my coat, and twirl me around, and keep begging, but she didn't. My hand hesitated on the doorknob, pleading with silence for it to be interrupted but it's clarity rung with flinching accuracy.
The door closed with a soft click, but it rang with the magnitude of whatI had just done. I watched as my heart shattered to the ground, as if glass. Shards flew in all directions, into millions of crystals that would never be put back together. And so I unwillingly left the love of my entire existence behind me, along with the grovel of glass that once was my heart.
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