The Bright Star

Reads: 315  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 5

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Wrote this for my girlfriend (now my ex). tell me how you like it. editing tips are always accepted! :)

There are millions of girls out there

But I'd pick you over them a million times

I want to make sure that's known

Even if it takes a lifetime

Every time i hear your name

I get butterflies and smile

Every time i see your face

You make this time worthwhile

Your the bright star

That outshines the moonlight

When I'm next to you

That feeling feels just right

There aren't enough words

To describe how i feel

Because to me

Your way too surreal


Submitted: November 10, 2011

© Copyright 2021 TheManBehindThePen. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

BurningGlory

That was really cute! :) The rhyming shceme is perfect, the word choice outstanding! I enjoyed this~!

Thu, November 10th, 2011 3:06am

Author
Reply

thanks!!! :D check out my other stuff :)

Wed, November 9th, 2011 7:49pm

Ice Winifr3d

that is so cute...haha it actually made me blush a little bit :) So cute..good job!

Thu, November 10th, 2011 3:12am

Author
Reply

:) thanks! check out my others! not really great but i could use some tips!

Wed, November 9th, 2011 7:42pm

TheManBehindThePen

haha yay thanks! :D love great feed-back. to bad she broke up with me right after i gave her this!

Thu, November 10th, 2011 3:16am

Silvermay

So sweet
You are really good at poetry all the words work well together and it actually makes sense
!

Thu, November 10th, 2011 3:40pm

Author
Reply

haha thanks! :)

Thu, November 10th, 2011 10:00am

bobthebuilder

Very nice. Great flow and so meaningful. You came up with some really memorable lines, too. Oh, last line, should be "too"

Sun, December 18th, 2011 9:17pm

Author
Reply

thank you!! lol

Sun, December 18th, 2011 1:21pm

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