Casa De Amor

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
What happens when you throw the Magical World of Disney together? Well, you get this shenanigan.....

Submitted: February 22, 2014

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Submitted: February 22, 2014

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Scene One

 

[Scene opens and the prince is seen standing by the couch, the Prince is wearing a flannel button up but only one sleeve is on. In one hand the Prince is doing curls and on the other he has a stuffed animal. The host enter shortly after]

Host: Welcome to another season of Casa De Amor where three lucky princesses are selected to get the chance to live happily ever after with this stunning young man.

Prince: Uh, yeah. happily ever after blah blah blah.

Host: So tell me, what do you expect from these group of fine ladies?

Prince: (Sets down weights and stuffed toy) I just hope they’re better than the last set, my ears are still ringing and I think I’m still frostbitten on some parts of my body. Look I’ll show you.

[There is a knock on the door]

Host: Ok, I think thats them, Lets go meet the ladies now, shall we?

[Both men proceed to walk towards the door (stage left) as they near the entrance, the doors fly open and Sleeping beauty jumps on the Prince]

Prince: Security!!!

Host: um, I think thats one of the princesses.

Prince: Oh, Um, Hi.

Sleeping Beauty: Oh my god, like I can’t believe I’m here. I’ve been like waiting my whole life to meet you, which is like since I woke up.

Prince: Uh, nice too meet you too? I guess.

[Singing is heard coming from outside.]

Rapunzel: Hello, oh hello Prince charming. (Hugs the Prince and giggles)

Sleeping Beauty:(slightly angry) Oh my god, like who are you? Why did you invite her to this party?

Host: That is Rapunzel, everybody knows her for her long beautiful hair.

Sleeping Beauty: Uhhh, I knew that, I just didn’t recognize her because her hair is so short and ugly, like where did you get it done? Fugly R’ Us?(laughs)

Rapunzel: Hey thats really mean, my mom cut it, well she isn’t my mom, but I didn’t know it at the time.

Bell:(wanders in from the back reading a book and bumps into host) Oh hello, I couldn’t find the front door so I snuck in through the back. (Hugs the Host) are you the Prince? You’re a lot skinnier than I thought.

Host: No, I’m the host, thats the prince. (Gestures at the Prince)

[Princesses turn to look at the prince who also turns, then realizes his mistake and tries to play it off]

Prince: Hey ladies. (waves but only Sleeping Beauty waves back, Rapunzel is fiddling with her hair and Bell is staring off into the distance)

Host: So now that you ladies are here, lets have the Prince step out so we can continue on and start with the Interviews.

Prince: Yeah, I’ll go do that. I need to hit the gym anyways.

[Prince exits and Sleeping Beauty waves after him]

Host: So your majesty's lets have a seat at the sofa and we can begin. (everyone moves towards the couch)

Sleeping Beauty: Like whats a sofa?

Rapunzel: I think its a lumpy.. green.. mattress.

Bell: I think he means the couch.

[The Princesses all sit down and look at the host]

Host:(Opens envelope) Okay, questions here we go. We’re starting easy, Tell us about yourself. Bell?

Bell: Well, Um, My name is Bell.  I have two sisters, and they’re the nastiest things ever.

Sleeping Beauty: Nasty? You’re dating that big hairy dude.

Host: Bell please continue.

Bell: Uh, where was I? Oh yeah, my sisters are horrible but my dad loved us all so when he lost all his money, he wanted to sell the rest of his business to get the three of us presents. They asked for dresses and jewelry and I asked for a rose.

Rapunzel: Why a rose?

Bell: I didn’t want to make my dad lose everything so yeah. As he was going to his ship, he found out that all his stuff had been repossessed and he got really sad so he wandered into the woods. In the woods he runs into this house with all this good stuff like food and stuff, he eats a bunch of the food and takes some of the stuff, as he is walking out he sees this rose bush and he takes a rose, suddenly a beast comes out from nowhere and gets all angry at him. Anyways the beast told him he was gonna kill him but my dad said he only took the stuff for us, so the beast made him a deal, my dad was supposed to give me to the beast so the beast wouldn’t kill him.

Host: Wow, that is horrible. What happened to the beast?

Bell: Oh, I cried on him and he became ridiculously hot.

Host: Um, ok. So moving on. Rapunzel tell us a little about yourself.

Rapunzel: Hi my name is Rapunzel and Bell our stories are slightly the same, see my dad was stealing a plant for my mom and it turns out that the plant belonged to a witch, she was also going to kill my dad if he didn’t give her his first born daughter which happens to be me. Anyways after he gave me to the witch she kept me locked up in a tower until a prince set me free, he left me though after he realized the witch had cut my hair.

Host: Sad, Sleeping Beauty? Uh where did she go?

[Earlier in the the scene Sleeping Beauty had fallen asleep and fallen of the couch, she hears the host calling her name and she sits up from her sleep]

Sleeping Beauty:(rubs eyes) Whaaaaaa? (yawns)

Host: Tell us about yourself?

Sleeping Beauty: Um, my name is Sleeping Beauty, and I have problems.

Host: No, tell us your story.

Sleeping Beauty: Fine, on my birthday my dad invited everyone except for this one lady who like ends up crashing the party and cursing me.

Host: Okay, moving on to the next question. What do you prefer in men.

Rapunzel: I like it when guys are really nice.

Sleeping Beauty: As long as they give me food, I’m ok.

Host: Like seriously.

Sleeping Beauty: Fine, I like guys that watch me sleep.

Bell: Hair, lots of hair.

Host: Ok um, I guess thats it for now. The house is open for anything, you can choose what ever room you want, just remember no talking to creepy old ladies.(Host exits stage left)

Rapunzel: Hey Bell lets go see the rooms.

Bell: Ok, Sleeping Beauty?

Sleeping Beauty: You can call me Rose, and no I think I’ll wait for the prince to get back.

Bell: Ok suit yourself, lets go Rapunzel.

[Bell and Rapunzel exit stage right]

[Prince enters wearing workout clothes and drinking a muscle milk]

Sleeping Beauty: Hey I’ve been waiting.

[The Prince screams in fright]

Prince: What the, hey Sleeping Beauty. what are you doing with all the lights off?

Sleeping Beauty: Please, call me Rose.

Prince: Uh, Rose what are you doing here, alone, with all the lights off.

Sleeping Beauty: Waiting

Prince: For what….

Sleeping Beauty: You.

Prince: Thats not creepy at all um where are you?

Sleeping Beauty: We’ll talk later I’ve got important stuff to take care off.

[The lights turn on and the Prince is alone, Sleeping Beauty is seen hiding behind the couch. Though the Prince fails to notice her.]

[Bell enters]

Prince: Bell, hey I was just looking for you.

Bell: You have?

Prince: Yeah, I wanted to ask you something.

Bell: Sure, what is it?

Prince: Can I take to to lunch sometime?

Sleeping Beauty:(still hiding behind the couch) WHAT!

Prince: What?

Bell: I didn’t say anything, it was the couch.

Prince: So about lunch.

Bell: Sure I’d love to go with you.

Prince: Great. Um, I’ll see you tomorrow then.

[Bell exits stage left Prince Exits Stage right]

Sleeping Beauty:(stands up from the couch) Game on Bell. Game on.

 

Scene Two

 

[Bell is sitting on the couch reading a book when Sleeping Beauty comes along and sits next to her.]

Sleeping Beauty: Hey um, whats your name again?

Bell: Belle but everyone calls me Bell.

Sleeping Beauty: Oh, right. So what are you up to.

Bell: Reading a book.

Sleeping Beauty: Cool what book?

Bell: Fifty Shades Of Grey

Sleeping Beauty: Is it good, I haven’t read it yet.

Bell: Yeah, I guess, hey listen can I tell you something.

Sleeping Beauty: Sure, we’re like friends right?

Bell: Are we? Well anyways the prince asked me out on a date what should I do? Should I go with him.

Sleeping Beauty: Sure why not?

Bell: So you’re not mad or anything? Cause, you seem really unstable to me

Sleeping Beauty: (laughs awkwardly) Nah, why would I be?

Bell: Well you seem to really like him.

Sleeping Beauty: I could care less about the prince. Where is he taking you?

Bell: Um, he said he’d take me to a place called Olive Garden.

Sleeping Beauty: Oh ok, um I have to go so I’ll see you later.

Bell: Um, yeah sure. I have to get ready anyways. Bye

[Bell gets up and exits, Sleeping Beauty is left sitting on the couch]

Sleeping Beauty: Olive Garden, hmmm I’ll be there.

[The lights dim and fade. Once they turn back on the scene has changed to a restaurant setting, Bell and the Prince are sitting the a table.]

Waiter: Good afternoon, may i take your order?

Bell: Hey aren’t you that Host guy from the other day?

Waiter: I have no idea what you are talking about. Can I take your orders though.

Prince: Yeah, I’ll have steak and mashed potatoes, and she’ll have a salad.

Bell: Two steaks, a side of fries and a whole fried chicken.

Prince: Yeah, No she’ll have a salad.

Waiter: Ok, and for drinks?

Prince: I’ll have a water. NO ice.

Bell: Same. But can I get it with ice. Oh and with a hint of lemon, and sugar and-

Prince: Just water.

Waiter: Ok, I,ll be right back with that.

[waiter exits]

Bell: Soooo, tell me about yourself.

Prince: Hm, what do you want to know?

Bell: Anything, do you have any hobbies?

Prince: I like working out and lifting weights, I also like long walks on the beach, and sunsets, oh I love sunsets.

Bell: Cool.

[Waiter enters with two glasses of water.]

Prince: Is that ice, WHY IS THERE ICE IN MY DRINK?

Waiter: I’m sorry I’ll be right back with with your water, and the food will be ready in about ten minutes.

[Waiter exits]

Prince: Ten minutes my butt, they never have it ready that fast.

Bell: I know right.

Prince: Oh, hold on I have to go to the little prince’s room,  had too much muscle milk.

[Prince exits, as prince exits Sleeping Beauty enters and sneaks up behind Bell.]

Sleeping Beauty: Hey Bell.

Bell: Oh hey Sleeping Beauty, What are you doing here?

Sleeping Beauty: I told you call me Rose, and I saw you and the Prince so I thought I should say hello.

Bell: Well hello.

Sleeping Beauty:(Drops something into Bells water) Hey, and well I have to go Rapunzel is waiting at the salon getting her hair done. Bye Bell.

Bell: By Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty: IT’S ROSE!! [exits]

Bell: Weird, (drinks water) Hm, that tastes funny, Kinda like cyani…..(collapses)

[Prince enters wiping hands on pants]

Prince: Hey is our food ready….. Bell? Hey, Bell? (shakes Bells) Damn it, again? (pulls out phone)

[lights dim and scene changes]

Host: And welcome back to Casa De Amor, In last episode we got to meet the bachelorettes and their Prince. Sadly one of the bachelorettes was taken by a mysterious disease and with that we’d like to take this moment of silence for Bell.

[Everyone is silent]

Rapunzel: Will Bell be ok?

Sleeping Beauty: Bell is dead.

Host: Shhhhhhhhhhh, it’s a sad moment.

Sleeping Beauty: I am sad.

Rapunzel: You don’t sound very sad.

Sleeping Beauty: Shut up or you’re next!

Prince: Next for what?

Sleeping Beauty: Nothing!

Host: Alright, tonight is the Princes Question segment, he can ask whatever he wants to who ever he wants. Take it away buddy.

Prince: Um, Ok… What do you find most attractive on a man. His abs or his pectorals.

Sleeping Beauty: What are pectorals?

Prince: A chest.

Sleeping Beauty: Oh, I love chests, especially if it has gold.

Rapunzel: He means muscles genius.

Sleeping Beauty: Shut Up! I knew that. Um, I like guys with big chests.

Prince: Rapunzel, what about you?

Rapunzel: I’m sorry what was the question?

Prince: What do you find more attractive, pecs or abs?

Rapunzel: I like abs because they’re nice looking.

Prince: Hm, interesting. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Rapunzel: Well I like long walks on the beach, and sunsets. I love sunsets.

Prince: Really?! Same here, I love sunsets.

Sleeping Beauty: Yeah, yeah, yeah, what about me?

Prince: Ok, Rose. Same question.

Sleeping Beauty: Well I like it when I wake up and an weird dude is staring at me, I also like knowing that he has been watching me sleep. I would love him forever if he woke me up with a kiss, like I might know him at all but i think that it's really romantic when a guy does that.

Prince:(Looks really creeped out) Ok, Moving on to the next and final question. What is the best leg day workout in your opinion?

Rapunzel: Um, I don’t know?

Prince: Like Squats, or Jack Knives?

Sleeping Beauty: I like Jack Knives.

Prince: Really? Why is that?

Sleeping Beauty: I like knives and stabbing things, what did you think silly.(giggles)

Prince: Um, not creepy at all.

Rapunzel: I like squats.

Prince: So do I (laughs)

[Sleeping Beauty growls and mutters under her breath]

Host: Ok thats all for today on Casa De Amor. Join us next time when we reveal the winner.

Prince: Don’t you think it’s a little early for the winner?

Host: Excuse me?

Prince:I don’t know why all the princesses that I like always end up dying. I mean seriously Bell was the best option but she just died, Rapunzel, she’s ok but she seems way too normal, and don’t even get me started on Sleeping Beauty, that girl is beyond weird, like David Copperfield meets David Blaine weird. Anyways I better be off, Its leg day. I don’t know. I mean this isn’t a really long script, and Mrs. Forrester asked us to have character development, and this just seems really sudden you, know? I’m just saying-

Host : WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?

Rapunzel: Whos Mrs. Forrester?

Host: OKAY, So join us next time when we reveal the winner… On Casa De Amor

[Lights fade out]

 

Scene Three

 

[Rapunzel and the Prince are talking on the couch neither one notices Sleeping Beauty behind the couch.]

Prince: So, I was thinking.

Rapunzel: Um hm.

Prince: Would you like to go catch a movie with me later?

Rapunzel: Yeah, that’d be nice, what are we watching?

Prince: Tangled.

Rapunzel: I haven’t seen it.

Prince: Neither have I, That’s why we’re going.

Rapunzel: Ok, (laughs) It’s a date.

[Sleeping Beauty is heard silently screaming]

Prince: Did you hear that?

Rapunzel: Hear what?

Prince: Never mind, so I’ll pick you up after i get back from the gym?

Rapunzel: Sounds Good!

[Prince exits and Sleeping Beauty rises from behind the couch. She sets her hand on Rapunzels shoulder Rapunzel screams and jumps from her seat]

Rapunzel: Oh, it’s just you Sleeping Beauty.

Sleeping Beauty: Didn’t I say to call me Rose.

Rapunzel: Yeah, I’m sorry you just scared me.

Sleeping Beauty: Yeah, I do that, I’m sorry.

Rapunzel: It’s ok, Hey the Prince asked me out on a date.

Sleeping Beauty: Yeah I heard. (steps closer to Rapunzel)

Rapunzel: You did?

Sleeping Beauty: Yeah, and didn’t I say shut up or you’d be next?

Rapunzel:(takes a step back, and slowly answers) Yes?

Sleeping Beauty: But you didn’t listen. No, you didn’t and neither did Bell, so I had to get rid of her. Like I’m about to get rid of you.

Rapunzel: But why, I- I don’t understand.

Sleeping Beauty: You don’t understand, of course you don’t. But I have to do this. This moment is mine and mine only. You don’t understand how long I’ve waited, planning, plotting this whole thing out bit by bit.

Rapunzel: I- Who are you.

Sleeping Beauty: Me? My name isn’t relevant, just know that it was hell impersonating the princess that I cursed a long time ago. It was hell.

Rapunzel: Why, why would you do this?

Witch: Because, how many opportunities do you get to have all these princesses in one place at the same time. It’s makes my job of killing them much more simple. Of course there's a hiccup here and there but its nothing that I can’t fix.

[The Witch draws a knife and steps closer to Rapunzel]

Witch: The Lannisters send their regards. (stabs Rapunzel)

[Lights go out the Witch exits then the lights come back on, the Prince enters]

Prince: Hey I forgot my milk have…..(stops mid sentence when he sees the body, Prince slowly walks to body.) Why does this always happen to me. (trips over own foot and spills milk) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, my muscle milk!!!! WHY!!!!!

[The sound of a mop is heard, a janitor enters and sees the body, he walks over to the body and prods it with the mop.]

Janitor:(sighs) I don’t get payed enough for this. (Drags body away while Prince still mourns over the loss of his milk, Janitor comes back and starts to mop up milk)

[Lights fade out]

 

Narrator: And so it was,  the evil Witch got her victory in the end. With two princesses dead, a frost bitten meathead prince is still looking for love. Or was it the perfect Leg day workout? Hmmm, I don’t know. But hey they don't pay me to know things. They don’t even pay me at all (laughs then groans at the realization that he is not getting paid)

The End

 


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