The Cruelty Of Unrequited Love, poem by ThePseudoMe

Reads: 216 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 1

Poem by: ThePseudoMe

Like
Shelfit

More Details

Status: Finished | Genre: Romance | House: Booksie Classic

Add to Read List

I wrote this piece from personal experience. Thinking back to when I was younger and 'In Love' with that 'Someone Special'. It's about how she treated me.

Submitted: April 02, 2007

A A A | A A A

Submitted: April 02, 2007

A A A

I can draw you in my mind

I can feel you in my Heart

I can smell your sweet perfume

But cruelty keeps you from my touch

I can see you standing by me

I can almost hold your hand

I can see the sunshine in youe eyes

But cruelty steals your kiss

I can taste the kisses on my lips

I can feel your soft caress

I can feel our bodies become one

But cruelty steals the dreams

I can see the child, our joy

I can see his mother in him

I can see the Love in your eyes

But cruelty, again, steps in

I can see us old together

I can see our Great Grandchildren

I can see us as in Love as the day we met

But cruelty lost you forever

Like
Shelfit

Romance

Add Your Comments:

Sign in to write a comment

Comments

EdwardJBradleySr

Comment | 145 words

Mon, April 2nd, 2007 9:01pm

ThePseudoMe:

Well written. Quite good theme and treatment of same.
Gave it a "5".

Think you may be posting too many poems at one time. Write them at any pace or speed you wish. But to build a readership it will work better for you to post one every few days or week. Sometimes, even longer time intervals can work better for you. People have only so much time and will have many other people to read.

It is more important to concentrate on quality than on rushing to post everything you may have done. People will get a better sense of you if allowed to develop their opinions over time.

Reading and commenting on the work of others, along the way, is part of the working relationship with others as well. It is not easy and takes time.

Just my opinion.

Happy trails,

Ed Bradley.