Cry, my dear.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is the feeling/ the thought of a girl who was trying to calm her male friend down from being very upset.

Submitted: November 10, 2011

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Submitted: November 10, 2011

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"being a man, I should not cry!". He says to me with tears on his face- I feel my shoulders and my back get wet. He leans his face on my back, does not let me turn around to see him!
 
 
 
"who said that?". I resolutely turn my whole body 180 degrees. My eyes touch his eyes- the red and wet eyes. It is said that tears are words the heart cannot express... I kiss those eyes. I feel the words, "the summer shower of soul"- I wishper.
 
 
 
"If you are happy, you smile. If you are unhappy, you cry. That is a human nature..." The eyes point to another direction, avoid my look. I hold his hands, tighter and tighter. I suddenly stubbornly want to break what they call "the law of life". 
 
 
 
Who said the color we see is black, or white, or blue? Who said they are colors? Those are just consents or ceonventions! Who said men are dominant and women are subordinate? Who said men's job is to go out and earn money while women's jobs are cooking and children? Who said right brained people should not go to tech? Who said younger men should not fall for older women? Who said when you get depressed or extremely sad about things, you should still carry your fake smiling face to meet other people?
 
 
 
WHO SAID MEN SHOULD NOT, OUGHT NOT TO, OR ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CRY?
 
 
 
All the words in my mind are not able to be spoken out. Perhaps I am such a sensitive and defensive person... Whenever it gets to the point I am sensitive enough, the only thing I can ever do is being quite. It is not because I have not tried, I did try, my lips moved... and the movements were so soft that no voice came out. 
 
 
 
Apparently, the silence and the reach from heart to heart for now is enough. My dearest friend, please remember that when you talk you have my undivided attention, when you laughed you have my urge to laugh with you and when you cry you have my urge to squeeze your hands, to touch your heart, and to hold you tight in my arms- although these arms are not big enough for you.
 
 
 
The Christains have their Jesus to lean on to help them get through the hard days. The Jews have their Yahweh to help them get through bad moments. The little kids have their mothers to lean on when they get bad grades or after theirs fights with friends at school. The wives have their husbands as well as the husbands have their wives to lean on when dissapointments keep coming. Some people look at me and they can say I am an idepepndent girl, I will look at them, smile and say: "no body is completely independent". Personally, I have been bugging a guy for 3 years- knowing that we can never get together- because I need him to lean on when I feel alone. Everybody needs at least a person- one way or another- to lean on. That is why I know this crying man is in a big need of someone. I suddenly think, he is a big boy, big boy... only in shape.
 
 
 
It is marvellous when we let ourselves smallen and weaken as we are beside the people we trust.
 
It is marvellous when we can see through a person's soul as we just sit and look at each others.
 
It is marvellous like a piece of music, or a movie which can touch to the deepest area of our hearts.
 
 
 
I write about what I feel, what I hear and what I see. I am given a heart to love and I should never stop loving people, lives, beings. I still learn to love even though this life sometimes is full of hatred and cold looks. I learn to love because love eases any border between ages, skin tones, eastern- western, northern- southern, genders, money, and social classes.
 
 
 
My friends can say: "you are so asian." I usually smile: "asian or european, we are all people. Asian food or european food, they are all food." They can reply:"but there are differences."  The differences make the beauty and give the colors to lives and thoughts. Why does everyone have to be the same? Why does everyone have to isolate themsleves? Why does everyone think they should try to be similar to get more involved in this world? Why does everybody compare themselves to others when nobody can do a better job of being themselves than them? 
 
 
 
I have been traveling to too many different places, experiencing too many things- which are enough to set myself on a limit. I learn to accept different points of views, different hobbies, just as easy as accepting that my roomie loves scutter and I do not- I enjoy watching her roaming around with it though...
 
 
 
The reach through his heart causes me to settle down, as I want to listen more, learn more about this personality. From being an active, happy person, he is now a little child, who could not prevent the tears from coming out.
 
 
 
I am a normal human, and I live with a spirit, a soul. Do not tell me to act different. You can change yourself, but you cannot control/ change people! 
 
 
 
"To me, when you are strongest is when you are brave enough to cry. As your tears run deeply through your soul, for sure, you will be in a greater spirit after those tears dry. Cry, my dear."


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