Comfort in Drowning

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Written 02/28/09

Submitted: May 17, 2010

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Submitted: May 17, 2010

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I've choked back the sadness and suppressed the tears once again. Never let them see you cry, I tell myself. Everytime I feel I'm getting closer to what I want most, the bearing is severed and my heartache is restored. The fragile hope of my existence is fading away under the crashing waters of time. I stand neck-deep in sorrow, fighting to keep my head above the confusion. I briefly allow my mind to drift into the open skies overhead, where my labored breaths cease, and the heavy weight on my heart is lifted. I spread my wings and let the warm ocean breeze pass through my feathers. The wind raises me higher, away from the broken figure slipping below the surface of the tide. My body pleads with my soul to return. I don't want to come down from my uncaged happiness, but an aching pain seeps into my being, and the laden pressure forces my mind to retreat back to my flesh.

I find my hands reaching out, searching for someone to take hold, and pull me from my enduring demise. But Life is how she has always been, and my grasp returns empty. Why then, do I continue to be the hand others are searching for? Why do I compromise my own well-being for these selfish creatures? My only explanation is not one that satisfies my agitation. I pull others from their foreseeable ends, while drowning in my own. I always expected my generosity to be the death of me, but never so soon. Once again I try to escape the reality of my situation.

My wings were torn from my back by the vultures who have taken advantage of my kindness. This time, when I close my eyes, I feel gentle hands on my shoulders. The familiar touch nurses my battered spirit, washing the blood from my pride. He presses his lips to mine and cradles my head in his hands. I lean my tired body against his, appreciating the support and remembering how perfectly we seem to fit together. The feeling of safety and comfort rushes through me for the first time in what seems like ages. I feel myself slipping into his welcoming soul, but it was all too adept to be real. I lift my eyes to see his face but he had already faded back into the depths of my memories.

A hazy line between consciousness and sleep sharpens, and a dark storm twists around me. I salvage what I can from the wreckage that was once my well-organized life, and begin to tread the water thats now deep enough to cover my head. Finally, I feel the end approaching, and with it an unexpected sense of relief. My suffering is soon to cease permanently...


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