What's a real friend?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
What are we looking for in a real friend and are we loyal to our own standards?

Submitted: July 24, 2015

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Submitted: July 24, 2015

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What do you consider as a good friend?
Someone who’s there for you in every circumstances?
Someone who doesn’t judge you but takes you just the way you are?
Someone who’s always there through the lows and the highs?
Someone who covers your back when you really messed up?
Or someone who dares to criticize you when you were wrong?
Someone who dares to turn his or her back on you when you’re heading the wrong direction?
Or is it someone who gives you advice and is always there to talk with you when you’re in trouble?
What do you consider yourself as a good friend?
We have high expectations from other people when it comes to friendship but are we loyal to our own standards when we flip things the other way around?
Would we do the same for one another what we expect them to do for us?
Can we call ourselves a good friend when we only expect but don’t give?
Are we fooling ourselves when we expect other people to meet our standard of expectations if we can’t even meet them ourselves?
If we are not true to our own standard of expectations we shouldn’t complain if other people don’t.
Otherwise we expect them to be doormats we walk over every day.
We would expect the impossible while in meantime we don’t even respect their loyalty and trust.
That also counts the other way around. We would be foolish idiots if we let other people treat us like that. There’s no reason a self-respecting person should ever allow himself to get used by selfish, self-righteous people.
There should always be a base of mutual respect and understanding that comes from both sides.
Everyone should be free in this process to participate or leave.
There shouldn’t be any pressure on friendship or high expectations that can’t be met. Especially if we don’t meet them ourselves.
When friendship is not based on this kind of equality and trust we talk about an abusive relationship between people.
It means one or both parties are using each other to get something out of it that has nothing to do with real friendship or companionship.
The most difficult or dangerous part is when one of the two is not aware of the kind of abusive relationship that’s going on. Or when someone doesn’t have enough self-worth to get out of it. That’s when shit really hits the fan and you’ll get used until you have nothing more to offer because you already gave everything you got without ever getting anything back in return. Even if you weren’t expecting anything except friendship and respect. Be aware of these kind of people and relationships. They don’t bring anything positive to your life and they will take until you’re dried up.
Make sure you never become that person yourself because you will regret when you took from good people and pushed them away out of your life.
When people are only there when you got money and success, it shouldn’t be so hard to understand why they are there.
When people are only there for you when you’re in difficulties it gets a little bit more complicated to see why these people are there for you.
Are they there because they really care about your situation and want to help you somehow or are they only there because they feel comfortable you’re in a bad situation? Be aware of these people cuz they will even drag you down further then you already were. They’re a dangerous kind of people and sometimes they don’t even realize it themselves. They like to hang around with people who are in a bad situation or at least not a better one then their selves.  They can’t stand successful people and that’s why they will get out of their way when they see you successful or moving forward in life. They will hate it and feel jealous all the time. You can’t trust these kind of people. They will backstab you the moment they feel you’re moving on with your life or you’re becoming more successful than they are. Once again, be very aware.
When you have a relationship with people that’s based on economic prospects we’d call this a business relation.
All’s good and well as long as every party realises what they’re up to.
The moment someone feels justified to disrespect the economic conditions because of the so called friendship the party is over.
That’s why you should never mix business with pleasure unless it’s playing in your own cards. Realise there are no real friends when it comes to business and money. You should always be hard-core selfish when it comes to that cuz your opponents certainly will if you fail.
Keep your friendships outside your business cuz it always brings trouble.
Only few people can deal with that and stay respectful and undemanding.
Those are the best people to hang out with as well in business as in private relationships but you will count them on one hand.
So real friends are the ones who look as much after you as you look after them. But a real friend always starts with yourself.
 


© Copyright 2018 Thomas Oliveira. All rights reserved.

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