I spoke with Simon Pegg. We discussed John Candy and Ray Charles.

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nonsensical rambling

Submitted: June 27, 2013

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Submitted: June 27, 2013

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I use Twitter, as embarrassing as that is. I’m horrible at it. Really, really bad. For reasons I cannot fathom (because they won't answer me) The Beatles and Yoko Ono follow me. I’m not kidding. I’m also not bragging. I'm puzzled. It’s downright confusing because they apparently have nothing to say to me, personally, nor do they listen to me when I say things. Such is life, I suppose. None of it makes much sense to me.

Another person who follows me is Edward James Olmos, which I understand because I've seen Blade Runner (and For Love of the Game, which is a totally underrated baseball movie). He also seems to follow everyone who follows him and is super concerned with “Fracking.” In case you don’t know what that is just rent the movie Promised Land, starring Matt Damon, Frances McDormand, Hal Holbrook and Jim Halpert. I’m sure some of the movie is fact and some is "creative license," but it's a decent watch nonetheless. Or just follow Edward James Olmos and he will follow you and together you will morph into a fracking Ouroboros. Or not. It's your world, boss.

Back to Twitter, I’m terrible with 140 characters. Look at the paragraph above and you'll imeediately know why. <-- There's another reason. Typos. I know how to spell the word immediately, but sometimes my fingers can't keep up with my brain on a real keyboard. When I tweet from my phone it's even worse, because I'm tapping EMPTY SPACE each time I want to say something. Why did I ever want a phone with no buttons? I'm a moron. My fingers constantly slip and produce typos. Also, my phone hates me, probably because I badmouth it so much. The bastard takes words like "fuck" and turns them into “duck” or (once) “fucki." When I use voice-to-text it f****** censors me. All of these issues make me look like a partially brain-dead nincompoop who can’t work a piece of technology ... which is mostly accurate.

I notice many people use Twitter to talk to their friends or market themselves in a social network, marketing-trend blah, blah, blah. I use it for news, mostly, and follow people I think are interesting. I don't hash tag. I don't shit talk. Every so often I chirp out a tweet about whatever, just because. Or maybe I'll send something to someone I appreciated in a movie or song or whatever, because that's what I do. For instance, the guy who plays Thomas Wayne in Batman Begins also plays Vincent Van Gogh in a BBC special and he’s fucking phenomenal in it. Like really, there are times where he drifts in and out of sanity, but he always carries himself with an edge of "Holy shit, this guy is INSANE. What's he going to do next? Eat his oil paint? Chop of piece of his ear? Paint the word HI in red pain on the roof of a house in one of his paintings? What the hell?! HE DID ALL OF THOSE!"

Sometimes the actor looks like James Franco. It's weird how that happens, right? One time he even looked almost exactly like Heath Ledger ... or Joseph Gordon Levitt. Are we sure they're not the same person? What if they are? That would mean 10 Things I Hate About You is, in reality, the most brilliant film ever made and Heath Joseph Gordon Ledger Levitt is the greatest actor of all time. This can't be right. I know. But seriously, it's uncanny. And this is where my brain goes. Back to the guy who played Thomas Wayne. I sent him (Linus Roache) a message saying he was excellent, like, “Hey … you were good,” like Shoeless Joe Jackson to Archie Graham when he turned back into Burt Lancaster and walked into the corn. I don't know why I sent it. Just because, I guess. Maybe for the same reason Joe said it to Moonlight at the end of Field of Dreams. Sometimes you just want people to know they're good, even though they probably already know. It's a strange thing, this life.

While Field of Dreams is fresh in your mind, get this: I talk about Bob Dylan often. No shit. I’m a fan of his and hope that maybe one day he stumbles onto this and sees me say something like ... "If I had never listened to Highway 61 Revisited or Bringing it All Back Home or Planet Waves I wouldn’t know any more or less than I do right now, but I don't think I’d enjoy life quite as much. So thank you for your music, from start to finish. Even the stuff I don't like.” ... But back to the point, Bob Dylan is from a little town in Minnesota called Hibbing. The town directly next to Hibbing is Chisolm, which happens to be the town where Archibald “Moonlight” Graham of New York Giants baseball and Field of Dreams fame was from. The town Ray Kinsella went to with Terrance Mann where he traveled back in time. That one. And there’s a huge iron mine up there. And the source of the Mississippi river is around there, vaguely. That leads down into Hannibal, MO, which is where Shoeless Joe Jackson was from in "Damn Yankees." And Mark Twain was from there. And he came in and left on a comet. Do you know who plays Mark Twain all the time? Hal Holbrook, from Promised Land, which as I said earlier is about Fracking. I don’t know what any of this means. Likely nothing, but maybe something, but probably nothing. Coincidences are just coincidences.

But Twitter. Back to Twitter. One famous person I follow is Simon Pegg. I like his movies and he’s been an influence in my writing. One day he posted something about something and I took a picture of John Candy in Planes, Trains and Automobiles (which I was watching) and sent it to him just to be random. Pegg replied. He said “He’s doing the mess around," which is funny, because he was doing the mess around, and check out the lyrics of that song in the picture below. Chalk it up to another coincidence. Anyway, I laughed at his reply, then I picked up my phone and called my Aunt. “Hi, Aunt B? I know we haven't spoken in ten years, but Simon Pegg, the ACTOR from Run Fatboy Run, just replied to something I said! Seriously, I may be the most important person on the planet. Right. Yes, Aunt B., a Golden God. Robert Plant and Russell, from Stillwater. Ok. Good talk."

I didn't do that. I don't think anyone would, would they? That’s fucking nutso. That's like, "Hey look, there's The Beatles ... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" *FAINT* No. And I’m not special, nor are he and I friends. He’s just a dude in England who talks about dogs A LOT and apparently likes John Candy. And really, who doesn't? What kind of person wouldn’t reply to a picture of John Candy? The man was brilliant. Here’s how brilliant he was. In Super Bowl XXIII, the San Francisco 49ers were losing 16-13 to the Cincinnati Bengals. They had the ball on their 8 yard line and had to go 92 yards in something like three minutes to win the Super Bowl. Montana walks out to the huddle with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and what does he say to his team? To Jerry Rice and several other Hall of Famers?

“Hey … that’s John Candy over there in the stands.”

TO RECAP: Joe Montana, in the most “important” moment of his life up to that point, not only noticed him in the stands, but told his teammates about it. I can only imagine everyone turning, slowly, as John Candy smiled and waved at them the way he did to John Belushi in The Blues Brothers. And that makes me smile. That’s how awesome John Candy was. He still makes me smile. He's immortal. He’ll always do the mess around. And so will I. And so will everybody who likes to smile.


© Copyright 2018 Thomas Sorrell. All rights reserved.

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