A Fly's Romance

Reads: 429  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is a quirky little piece I did about some flies. It's not great, but...what do you think?

A Fly's Romance

 

 

 

My armor glistened, green and blue highlights jumping off my back, as the sun beat down on me.  I enjoyed the feeling of a warm sun massaging my chitinous exoskeleton, and the cool breeze that was the result of my high speed flight.  An ocean of grass below me, cut into neat little squares by the humans transportation routes, waved hello as I passed overhead, on my way to me some friends at a near-by stream.

" Judas!," Rob cried, nodding his head to beckon my approach, " Where the hell have you been? We been waiting here for hours."

" Sorry, I found this sweet puddle of soda.  I couldn't resist, it looked so inviting."

" Inviting, eh? You wanna hear inviting?  Charlene asked about you. heh..heh!," Rob teased, knocking me off the blade of grass where I was perched.

" She did?," I fluttered, darting immediately to his side.

" I'm tellin' ya, she's got it bad for ya!," offered Tony, another one of my buddies.

" I told you it would pay off, all these months of doing nothing but coming out here to scope out the babes!," Rob added.

And it was true, he had said that. In fact, it was his idea for all of us, Rob, Tony, Ringo, and myself, to come out here to the stream every afternoon and check out the local damsel flies.  We were all a bunch of single happening flies, so we figured by hanging around , we were sure to pick of some babes eventually.  Ever since our first outing, though, I had my sights set on one lovely lady in particular.  Charlene, for some inexplicable reason, had become my hearts desire. I loved everything about her, the way her sultry wings fluttered about, ever so gracefully, and the way her magnificent yellow eyes seemed to glow, even in the noon of the day.  And, boy did she have a set of legs. Actually she had three, and for a fly, that's a real turn on!  Anyhow, I'd tried every way I could think of to get her attention.  I attacked a frog once, trying to impress her with my bravery. I almost got myself eaten, only to find out she wasn't even watching.  So I decided to try the direct approach.

" Hi, Charlene," I stumbled across the words, " I think your the most beautiful fly I've ever seen and your wings look lovely today and the way you style your antennae is absolutely..."

 " Judas?," she interrupted, " You're rambling!"

" Oh, sorry!  What I mean to say is, I really like you and I was just wondering if I could call you sometime?," I finished, feeling that I would blush if weren't so damn arthropodic.

" Call me?," she questioned, a puzzled look in her eyes, " How do you plan to call me?  We're flies, Judas, not humans! We don't make phone calls, we fly.  That's why we're flies. Get it?"

I did. So, I hovered away, half-embarrassed and half-offended, but completely heart-broken.  I actually sat on a bug-light for three days straight, waiting for some human to turn it on.  But they never did.  Turns out the family who owned the light was on vacation that week.

Needless to say, my luck with the ladies was in serious need of help.  So the last thing I expected, was to hear that Charlene had actually asked about me!

" So she did? She really asked about me?," I quivered with excitement.

" Nope.," Ringo answered plainly.

" What? whaddaya mean, 'nope'?," I demanded.

" April fools!," Rob laughed, reminding me more of a hyena than a fly.

" She hasn't even looked out way since we got here!," Tony added, " I say forget her. Who needs dames anyway?"

" I do," I thought silently to myself as I looked over at Charlene, hovering gracefully above the stream.  She was a thing of beauty, and, it seemed, well out of my reach.

" C'mon, let's get out of here!," Rob, cried leading the charge, as, one by one, we all darted away from the stream, crossing the divided ocean of grass, and returning safely home. 

" I can't believe you guys did that to me! You know how I feel about Charlene!," I said, as we landed on a picnic table to rest.

" That's why we did it!," laughed Ringo, rubbing his front legs together.

" You guys are such bastard's!," I laughed.

Suddenly, the table shook with incredible force, like an earthquake, only smaller.  I quickly took to the air, and in seconds, I was twelve feet in the air.  I looked around me and saw Ringo and Rob. 

" Where's Tony?," I worried, looking frantically about.

" He was with us?," Ringo answered.

" I know, nut where is he now?"

" I don't know," Rob replied.

I looked down to observe the table where we had been perched.  There at the table, I saw a little sandy-haired boy, armed with a stick in one hand.  In the other hand, he had Tony by one wing.

" He's got Tony!," I shouted, " What'll we do?"

" Nothing we can do, bro! If we go down there, he'll get us too!," Rob pleaded.

" There's gotta be something we can do!," I cried.

" What seems to be the problem?," I deep voice called to us from behind. It was Alistair, a local honeybee who was just passing by.

" That little boy down there had got our friend!," Ringo explained.

" I think I can help.  Humans are scared of bees like me. Watch this!," Alistair shouted as he swarmed toward the little sandy-haired boy.

I watched intently as Alistair buzzed eerily around the boy's head.  The boy swatted and swatted,  to no avail.  Still in his grasp, though, was Tony.  Alistair continued his assault, and was joined by a friendly wasp.  Perseverance prevailed in the end, however, and Alistair and the mysterious wasp were able to drive the boy away.  But not before he had ripped one of Tony's wings off and tossed him into the ocean of grass.

" Tony!," we shouted as we raced to find him.

In a matter of mere moments, we found him, lying on his back, motionless and absent one wing.

" If only you weren't so damn slow!," I lamented.

" Awww, no! He's not...I mean he's gonna be......okay? Right?," Rob murmured softly.

" What're we gonna do?," Ringo wondered, struggling to maintain his composure.

Just then, the ground began to quake once more.

" Now what?," I cried out, frustrated and angry.

" I think we best not hang around, folks," Alistair suggested, " A patrol of ants is on its way.  Though we have the size advantage, they have strength in numbers. There's nothing we can do for your friend now!"

We took flight, just in time to watch a horde of black ants, their ebony cuticular bodies glistening horrifically in the noon hour sun, steal away with Tony's lifeless form. We never spoke a word of that day after that, choosing to keep to ourselves the memory of the awful events which transpired.

 

One day,  on our way the stream, we saw a house.  It wasn't the first time we had seen a house, far from it.  But this one was different.  There was a large for sale sign in the front yard.

" What's that all about?," Ringo asked.

" It means the humans are moving out of this huge construct!," I answered.

" So, then, w could have the place to ourselves, eh?  Free to have whatever crumbs they leave behind for our own?," Rob grinned with sparked interest.

" Yeah, I guess," I agreed.

" Then let's do it. Let's move in," Ringo decided for us all.

" Okay," I consented, " But Let's wait until they start to move out. Or else we'll end up like....let's just wait okay?"

We agreed to wait for the day of moving, and went about our business.  However, our peace was short-lived.  A group of Dragonflies showed up to give us a hard time. Actually, they showed up to give me a hard time.

" We hear you been hangin' around the stream, scoping out my babe!," cried Seth, the largest of the group.

" What are you talkin' about?," I replied.

" Charlene! She's mine! And I'll kill any of you's I catch hangin' around her.  You don't touch her, you don't talk to her, you don't even look at her! Or I'll find you wherever you are!"

" Just what's your problem, eh? I'll take on all three of ya by myself!," Ringo boasted in vain glory.

" Ringo! Wait! Don't go doin' something stupid!," I call to him.

" Ringo?," Seth chuckled, " Ringo?  He thinks he'd a beatle, boys!"

" I was....er...in another life!," Ringo darted back.

" Yeah, well, either of you come near my girl and we'll see about the next life!," Seth warned as he turned to fly away.

" Buzz off!," I muttered under my breath.

" Don't worry about them," Rob instructed, " They're full of hot air. That's all."

The days passed quickly by, and we spent them as we always had. We'd cruise around, spongin' up what food we could find, and then we'd head on over to the stream to check out the babes.  I was determined, at least for my part, that no dragonfly was gonna threaten me off. I wasn't afraid, so I called him on his bluff.  Turns out, though, he wasn't bluffing. 

 

The next day, I found Rob crawling about on the concrete below, beaten, bruised, and wingless. 

" They tore my wings off, the bastards!," he screamed in rage, " The bastards yanked 'em right off!"

" Will you be okay?," I asked.

" I'll be fine. I know a family of potato bugs who'll let me crash at their place in exchanged for my help in gathering food. I can't hang with you and Ringo anymore, though!"

" So this is it, huh?  I'll never see you again?," I questioned.

" I guess so.  But this isn't it! You gotta avenge me, somehow!  I don't wanna wake up in the morning, and know that I lost 'em in vain.  Go kill the bastard that did this to me....and then, go get that girl. 'cause you're good enough man! You are!"

" Thanks, Rob.  I won't let you down," I shouted, as I flew off to meet my destiny.

I knew what had to be done.  I had to find Seth, and challenge him to a duel.  I went to the stream alone, I didn't want any more of my friends to get hurt.  Of course, Seth was not had to find.

" Seth!," I called, glaring at him with all my multiple eyes.

" I thought I told you to stay the hell away!," he answered, hovering closer to me.

" Shut up, Seth! I'm through playin' games.  I challenge you to a duel, to the death," I yelled in defiance.

" How stupid is that?," I laughed to his friend.

" Scared are we?  But not scared enough to go ripping the wings off of folks!," I answered.

" Alright! You wanna piece o' this? Fine!," he shouted as he zoomed up high above the stream.

I followed him up, lunging at him as my fastest speed.  He merely floated gingerly upward, then responded with a three-legged kick to my back.

" You oughtta know better! Ordinary houseflies can't much aerial skill with dragonflies! We're just better!," he taunted.

I lunged again, missing once more and receiving another kick for my effort.

" Bastard! Hold still!," I yelled angrily.

" Sure! Why don't I just rip my wings off for you!," Seth responded with sarcasm.

" Good idea!," I answered back, lunging once more.

This time, his kick sent me hurling to the ground.  I lay there dazed for a moment, surrounded by tall blades of grass.

" Pssst!," I heard someone whisper, " Over here!"

Looking around, I found Ringo, lurking under the cover of a clump of grass.

" You need help! He's too, fast, too strong! But, we're houseflies. We're smarter!,” he suggested.

" You...have a plan?," I asked.

 " Of course!  Here's the deal.  Get him to chase you, fly low, near those tall weeds over there.  There's a spider-web over there.  You're small. stay close to the right side of the gap between the weeds, and you'll be fine.  But he'll never make it! Bingo! We win!," Ringo explained. 

" Okay, but I hope this works!," I doubted.

I rejoined Seth in the air, and lunged a few more times.  Then I made a mad dash for the grouping of weeds Ringo showed me.

" Come and get me, dumb-ass!," I shouted, as I sped hurriedly toward the weeds, and the awaiting spider-web.

" Haven't you learned yet? I'm bigger, stronger, and faster than you!," Seth cried as he took pursuit.

I was getting close enough to the weeds that I began to look for the spider-web.

" I don't see it!  What was it he said...keep to the right! Here goes!," I thought to myself as I zoomed through the patch of weeds, and back up into the air.

" I'll catch you yet....what the? what the hell? a spider-web? I'm caught in a spider-web! Help!," Seth yelled, newly ensnared in the deadly arachnid trap.

"It worked!," I uttered allowed.

" Of course it worked, it was my plan!," Ringo took credit.

" I hate to leave unexpectedly, but I gotta run!," I yelled to Seth, as Ringo and I flew off.

 

Once we were safely back in our old familiar surroundings, we found a safe place to rest. 

" You heard about Rob?," I asked.

" Yeah! He told me what you were gonna do.  I figured you might need a hand, or a wing, an extra set of compound eyes, something!," Ringo answered.

" Hey, look!," I cried, nodding my head toward the house we had seen.

" It looks like they're moving out today!," I cried.

" Yeah, let's go and check it out.  We'll do it for Rob!," Ringo offered.

 

We zoomed past a large moving van in the driveway, and came to roost on the front porch light.  Peering in through the window, we could see that all of the furniture was gone already.  Ah, but there was a prize to be had. 

" Look at that, on the counter!," I cried.

" A mouth-watering bowl of fruit.  And an apple, with a bite missing!," Ringo exclaimed.

" Let's do it!," I shouted, leaving my perch, and flying in through the open front door.

Together we entered the kitchen, landing directly on the once-bitten apple.

" This is good stuff, brother!," Ringo said, his sponging mouth-parts absorbing sweet nectar from the apple's exposed flesh.

Suddenly, the ground began to quake, a feeling I was becoming all to aquatinted with.  I quickly took to the ceiling, hiding behind the now still blades of a ceiling fan.  Ringo flew over to his left, burying himself in an open box of better cheddar's.

" Ringo!," I shouted, " Up here! They'll find you!"

" Sssssshhhhhh!," he answered back.

" Why are you ssssshhhhing? They can't hear us?," I asked, " Come on up here before they find you."

Just then, two humans entered the room. One picked up the once-bitten apple and began to eat it.  . The other one grabbed the box of better cheddar's, and place it in another larger box, which he then carried out of the room.  The other human followed him. Carefully, I followed them both.

" Ringo!," I shouted, " You've got to get out of that box!"

" Why?," he cried, " These are good!"

" Because if you don't, you're gonna end up moving with the humans!," I answered.

" What!?," he yelled, not realizing where he was.

The man carried the box into the moving van, and placed it snugly into a reclining chair.  He proceeded to exit the van, and began to slide shut the door.

" Ringo!,I pleaded," For God's sake, hurry up! They're closing the door!"

I could see him inside the van's cargo area, flying as speedily as he could toward the door. Then the door was closed, and I couldn't see Ringo anymore.

" Ringo! You dumb bastard!," I shouted, watching as the van pulled away.

I had the house all to myself now, but somehow, it didn't feel like much of a victory without someone to share it with.

 

So, I flew back to the stream to be alone for awhile.  It had been a rough week for me; in that short amount of time I had lost two friends.  So, I was feeling a little out of sorts. 

" Hey, stranger!," A soft voice called out to me.

I turned around to find myself face to face with Charlene.  She smiled at me, as she perched deftly on a blade of grass opposite mine.

" Wow," I said, amazed, " So you can be friendly sometimes after all, eh?"

" Yeah, I can.  With Seth gone, I can do just about anything I please," she added.

" But...I thought you guys were, like, together or something? I mean, at least that's the impression that I got from Seth.  As a matter of fact, that whole fight was kind of about you!," I said, slightly confused.

" C'mon! I should think you'd credit me with having better taste than that! Seth was a very possessive guy.  He asked me out once. I said no.  Ever since then, he'd threaten any and everyone who even came close to me. He was a nut!," Charlene explained.

" That he was!"

" Look, Judas!," Charlene began, " I know I was a little rude to you the last time we talked.."

" A little?," I chuckled.

" Okay, alot! The point is, I'm sorry.  I was angry because Seth wouldn't leave me alone, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry," she continued.

" So, does that mean I can call you?"

" Not exactly, we're still flies! We fly, see," she said as she buzzed over to the blade of grass I was perched on.

" So what does it mean?," I asked.

" It means you can still come and see me every day. Only from now on, there'll be no more Seth to give us a hard time!"

Just then, I heard a familiar voice calling me.  The voice got louder, the closer it got. 

" Judas!," the voice yelled repeatedly.

Suddenly, out from behind some brush across the stream, Ringo zoomed out.

" Ringo!," I shouted, flying up to meet him, " How did you escape?"

" Escape?  No need to escape! Those humans only moved two streets over.  Is that stupid or what?," Ringo related his tale.

" So much for seeing the world, eh?," I laughed.

" Yeah, really.  So, uh, Judas.  What's this?  Did I miss something? Since when are you two hittin; off so well?"

" Since about right now!," I answered.

" See? It's just me and Rob have said all along.  She's got it bad for you!," he continued.

" Please!," Charlene squawked, " I think it's the other way around!"

" Well I happen to have it on good authority that you are exactly right!," Ringo came back.

" Hey," I shouted, " I just thought of somethin'! Whay don't we go check out the empty house, no that the humans are gone?"

" Great idea! Let's go!," Ringo lead the way.

" Coming Charlene?," I turned to face her.

" Wouldn't miss it!," Charlene answered, stunned that I'd invite her.

" Well, then, c'mon dear.  That house won't stay empty for long!,”

 I replied, as the three of us flew off to the empty house.

 

 


Submitted: July 21, 2010

© Copyright 2021 Timothy D Paschall. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:


Facebook Comments

Other Content by Timothy D Paschall