Dear Nightmares.........

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
A Moment in the mind,
memory and thoughts of a worn out warrior

Submitted: December 31, 2012

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Submitted: December 31, 2012

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When it all started I was pointed in the direction of the “White Horse”.

Before I knew it, I was deeper into the emersion that I realized….as I sunk…farther and farther into the dark. 

Knowing I was on a course to save the white horse, I diligently focused on the task.

Knowing I was on a course to save the white horse, I diligently focused on the mask.

Too far away to turn back, too close to the prize to cut myself any slack.

I have seen the white horse stumble and fight to remain on course.

I have seen the black clouds shroud the path in darkness without remorse.

I have been so deep I could taste the beginning.

I have felt my heart rate eclipse the movement of time.

I have felt panic, despair, anger and pain.

I have gone days without sleep, weeks without contact and years without joy.

The nightmares, the daydreams, the what-if’s and the guilt consume me.

I have prayed, cried, screamed, run and fought.

I have returned, comeback, watched, listened and pined.

I have done bad things, good thing, deplorable things, and magnificent things.

I have seen the perverse mind in full Technicolor.

I have seen the righteous go down on their feet.

I have stood by and watched, jumped in and acted.

I have held my tongue, spoke my mind and cursed God.

I am an old broken warrior now.

I am a Husband, a Father, a friend and a priest.

I am regret, I am pain, I am failure.

I have loved, laughed, enjoyed and held tightly my dearest loves.

I have seen the delicate balance of life and I fear for my loved ones daily.

I have accepted my remorse, occupied my insecurity and accepted my experience.

I am what I am, and it is what it is.

 

Please release me from your grasp. Let me live again. I have paid my penance. I have paid with interest. I have even paid others debts.  I am ready to rest now.


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