1-800 Marketing

So sick and tired of all those marketing calls

Accent is mid-western or a southern drawl

Calling me at meal time; boy, they have the gall!

Each annoying speech makes my epidermis crawl

Blocked numbers keep blowing up my phone

Wish I was someone else; act like I been cloned

Tempted not to answer; fake like I’m not home

I give in and answer; now my cover’s blown

“Is the lady of the house in?” starts their argument

“She is not available”; throw them off the scent

Ignore me completely; start talking from a script

Pitch everything from burial plots to vacation trips

They just keep on talking, so I lay down the phone

Pick up a minute later; they still rambling on

No use to beg or plead; they won’t go away

Then the final insult, they put me on auto-play