Hedonism

If you aren't laughing,
You're crying.
I,
Your secret advisor,
Sits behind the lines.
Waiting, watching,
Untill you slip.
And you come to me,
Expecting me.
Me, of course.
To solve your each and every problem.
Your secret best friend.
Anger,
Rages within me.
Yet I hold it.
Everytime I'm about to blow.
Cause you say,
'I'm all you've got.'
Are you blind?!
Or just stupid?
Cause you are surrounded.
Every second and minute,
Or your useless life.
I always,
Am on the sidelines.
There for you.
Yet,
I could scream.
All night.
For your help,
And you'd never.
Never come to my aid.
I dream.
Of the day.
I'd just walk away.
And ignore your pathetic pleads.
But,
I know.
I'm not strong enough.
To just run from you.
You're always off,
With your naivity.
Then come asking me.
'Where I've been?'
"Why I wasn't with you?'
Well,
Here's the thing.
I'm sick.
Sick and tired.
Of being your shadows,
And being pushed away.
Like you didn't give,
A shit.
You call on me.
As if,
As if I was your butler.
Or worse.
Your slave.
Sometimes,
No, always.
I wish I could just,
Smack your dumb face.
But I know,
It's better,
To lie low.
Be invisable.
Like I've done all these ruthless years.
I'm so,
So pissed.
With you,
And your self-absorbed royalty.
And of my being,
Your joker.
A mere entertainer.
Serving you at,
Any time you wish.
We swore,
To give each other,
Out trust.
But never,
Never will I trust you.
And you shouldn't,
Trust me.
You've wrecked me.
You've ruined me.
I've worn so thin.
I'm not sorry.
But,
My paper skin,
Can't hold much longer.
Goodbye,
This is it.
No fairytale ending.
Wish you the best,
Without me.
So,
You won't come running back.
I've let go.
Now why can't you?
You're just hurting yourself,
You know.
Once more.
Goodbye,
Haha....
The End.