Deeply Regretted

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is one of my most recent written fiction stories. Hope you Enjoy!!!!!
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Submitted: January 26, 2010

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Submitted: January 26, 2010

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Sometimes mistakes are our best memories. Some times we learn more from our mistakes than from our successes. But when regret comes to our mind we let fear dominate us so much that we refuse to try new things. I strongly believe that it’s hard to accept, but you really can’t change the past. You can’t go back and fix all the mistakes you made because believe it or not… it has made you who you are today. Here is how my experience will illustrate my argument. This story may seem weird to you, although in some cultures it’s normal, but in Haiti it is considered a crime. During my childhood, I always wanted to play the father’s role when it comes to playing family game with siblings. One day, while we were playing that game, father and mother, Christina, my cousin, went out shopping, pretending the store was underneath my bed. Unexpectedly, my real father saw us having sex; he punished both of us so that we could learn not to do it again. As time went by, we realized we were wrong but the worst is I couldn’t apologize for something which I had meant to do because I had never stopped. Sometime I ask for death, I shouldn’t abuse her because she was my cousin, and she was living with us because she was an orphan. Regrets always come late. While growing up, neither of us had any idea of what that really meant until we were both far away from each other, because we were too deeply in love with each other. Sometimes the spirit of love has a force that can drive you through unimaginable habits, it makes you do things you never expect you’d do. That spirit has a power that will never go away, it endures year after year. I am the most brainless person alive; I shouldn’t have committed anything like that to my own blood. Sometimes I wonder what if she was my mother or my sister whom someone had done that to. I could have tried to fight against that criminal thinking that made me think she was the one. I could have even once tried to think of how I would feel if I were in her situation where I had nobody to stand up for me. Still now, the most of what my heart can’t resist is the fact that I always have flashbacks of times when she didn’t want to do it because of her period, I still did it. I still remember times when she reminded me I was her cousin; even so I forced her and lost her virginity. I could have tried not to hurt her that much. There were also times I used to hit her when she refused and wanted to revolt, but my conscience would not allow it because I thought it was ok to make mistakes. After all, I consciously do deserve to be forgiven. I strongly believe confessing now is not an excuse and will never be, because I had several chances to learn from my mistake after I admitted all I had immorally done, but didn’t because it wouldn’t be sincere. The fact that I never did, she always hold it against me. I always thought apologizing in person was too effective even when regrets come to my mind. Words weren’t enough to cure her deep hurt because I because I never really felt guilty. I’ve finally learn the bigger your ambitions, the more dependent you will be on your chances to overcome and learn from your mistakes because it makes you distance yourself from any possible lessons and holds you from moving forward, but if you have the courage to stand up and honestly admit your mistake and be responsible the possibilities for learning and overcoming your mistake will certainly move towards you.


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