I cowered away. The life around me wasn't what it used to be. It used to be colour, full bright shadow defying colour. But now it rotted into darkness, shadows twining with the wisps of thin air to create a tension that was so nerve shaking that I could hardly stand on my own two feet.
But still I laid there, staring up at the grey sky while watching everything around me drift into slow motion as I died with it. The last of sanity bursting into invisible flames and destroying what used to be the most perfect world.
But 'perfection' was now nothing less but a rumour that had once brushed upon the ears of everyone and everything. It left them enlightened to believe that there actually was such a world that defied the heavens. That completely and utterly defied greatness.
There was never such a world for me. I was always pushed into the shadows of the others, I was nothing but the darkness that followed along behind them. Just so I could get some place else and travel to somewhere that maybe seemed a little more brighter.
But everything was dark.
They'd always laugh and smile. Marking their own happiness above my own like I was nothing but the background. But it wasn't a lie - I was...
People came and went, glaring at me like I was nothing but a stray. Like I was one to steal from others, weakening them from happiness and ruining their chance to have the good things in this distraught world.
But it's them. They stole every ounce of the colour from my world just as well as theirs. And it by far broke my heart to admit that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't grab it back.
The reason for why my world was fading and theirs wasn't - it was because I was an outcast. I wasn't exactly what you'd class as normal. In fact, I was so far passed it, you couldn't see me.
My dark hair was what covered my face. Hiding my appearance from whoever were to walk past and glance in my direction. It was like a barrier separating what was me and the other world. My only protection.
My skin was what showed that I had been hidden in the darkness for far too long. My pale fragile skin being the warning too myself that I was by far so delicate and broken. And the absolute evidence that I was destroying myself.
The green eyes that were mine were what held the hidden tears that had been vowed to never bleed upon my cheeks. After all the promises that I had made to myself that I would never show a sign of weakness ever again.
I was a hole that used to be the ground that carried everyone, but it didn't take long before that piece of support caved into a deep black hole. Part of what was supposedly destroying that perfect world.
I shouldn't have existed.
But when I prayed that all was over and that the world had finally finished dragging me down with it. A face stared towards me, catching glimpses of my teary eyes between the strands of my barricading hair.
I longed to look away from them immediately as my eyes had came across them, but there was something about them that had acted like glue. Controlling my gaze to lock itself with their own.
At that moment I felt ignited.
It was a boy. Although he was part of the other world, he called out to me, walking slowly and almost unknowingly towards my stranded body. Almost like he didn't know what it was he were getting himself into.
I tried to push myself away, trying to create a great deal of distance so maybe, just maybe he'd give up on trying to approach me. But no matter how far I pushed away, he still inched closer.
“Stop it,” I murmured, “you'll hurt me.”
I was genuinely afraid of why he was coming towards me. He watched me carefully, although I tried to avert my eyes away from him. But it was like he had cast some spell, such a powerful spellthat forced us to remain sharing eye contact.
His eyes were blue. Pure like the finest ocean. Gripping tides trying to pull me closer towards him, every time he stepped closer I had to fight the urge to step into that shimmering pool of light. Because I knew he would suffocate me.
“I won't...” he said it like he surrendered. “I swear you have my word.”
There was something there. It made me stop pushing, it made me allow him to proceed to grow closer. I let him reach out towards me, his tanned skin brushing against my glass like flesh.
He was warm, like the sun on a cold winters day. He was the last piece of freedom that was saving this world from being swamped by utter coldness.
That last little piece of heat that heated every vein throughout my body. Giving me the heat that was able to grant me the will of meaning. For the first time in my life I meant something. And it wasn't darkness.
For the first time in my life. I saw a light, and my god it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen for the whole of my existence. Because he was the one who created it.
He asked me, “why do you hide those eyes of yours?”
And I replied, “because there's no point in believing what isn't real.”
He smiled at me. His lips as red as blood pierced from the most pure hearted person who ever stepped foot against the distraught ruins of the planet they lived on. Preferably the one we were standing on at that very moment.
“I'm real.” He smiled, the whiteness from his teeth almost comparing to the light he showed me just before. “Can you believe that?”
“You're just one of them...”
He frowned, “could you ever believe that maybe I'm different?”
No one was different. They were only different through the eyes they stared at me. Some glared, some just gazed in confusion, probably as to why I was faded and they weren't. But none of them had ever approached me before.
I shook my head rapidly, “you're all the same!”
I was afraid, I swear I could feel the slight warning of a tear threatening to roll down my cheek. But as he snatched hold of my right hand everything outside and inside were frozen to a stop.
He held it firmly, so I was unable to pull it away again. My flesh was pinched inside his large masculine hand that sweated with warmth and softness. I had never felt anything like it.
“Look,” he placed my tiny palm against his broad chest, his muscles flexing beneath my hand. “You feel that?”
At first I didn't know, I was confused as to what it was he were trying to show me. I understood his flesh was warm, it tingled at my skin, giving me my first few signs of happiness for what felt like the first time in my whole life.
But then something quivered beneath my fingertips, pacing quickly beneath his skin. I will admit it startled me, I had never seen, heard or felt movement that quick. It was simply astonishing.
It happened again, sounding so much clearer and feeling as if it wanted to be seen by my presence. The ba-bump sensation hammering against the tips of my fingers as I pressed them firmer against his chest.
His hand now took over mine, “heartbeat.”
He wasn't lying, he had showed me nothing less and nothing more than what was the truth. What laid beneath his human flesh.
“Warmth...” I smiled greatly, “you're so warm.”
My smile must have some what enlightened him, because he smiled too. Showing me the same white dazzling teeth as before, letting once again another beautiful light brush against the dust of my cold broken heart.
“I swear to you, I'm different.”
© Copyright 2017 TJShaw. All rights reserved.
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