Submitted: April 23, 2009
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So excotic,exquisite so magnificent is the tree,I paint,harvest to manifest with-in the void of my imagination.my ink is her seed,my blacken abyss of creativity is her soil.So
magnanimous,so towering in comparison to the grievous tree,which grows in your back yard.But can you hold my tree,can you hermitage under her with in the rain. Your tree struggles,strives,ages
,breathes,my tree simply lingers for eternity in non existence.
Dreams,thoughts,words merely poisons.Bleaching away,eatting away at our umbilical cords,which connects us to our drifting spirits.Those whom have found passion through words,but not through flesh.We bleed out the bad gomers,through ink and not blood.Unaccepting the emptiness,the loneliness with in the verisimilitude of existence.
Creativity is a pond,we all go down to drink.Some washes their hands,some become adicts of it's saccharine taste,and some build rafts seeking drifting salvation from which they can hold.
by to the world a black balloon
"So pretty" exclaimed Emily from beneath the August night's sky.Lying with in a field of over growned dandy lions.A blanket of yellow to cover her from night's brisk touch.The
humid August night breeze,acting has the hand of ragnarok. Taking,leading the expired dandy lions to their heaven.Like stars that came down to earth,to dance,to kiss Emily's nose to flutter of
into the devoid of night.
The night's sky,god's greatest painting, stars shimmering like glitter.God's promise that there's more then that of nothingness that holds Emily's hand.Twinkles,the extirpation
of galaxies beheld in a blink of her eye.The prays of inamorata,from little girls to this very night sky.
"Do you know what stars are,Emily" whispers her only friend.He waits for her responds,after a few seconds of silence ,whispers the answer.In a voice as pure as the first words by a
father to his daughter ,he says."They are tears,tears of the angels.They weep themselves to sleep every night.Do you know what they weep for Emily?Do you know why the angels cry".
In the pure innocence of a child,she answers."because they are sad?"
"Right Emily,they weep because they are sad.Why are you sad Emily?"
"Because my dad doesn't love me anymore"Emily says as tears,like water from a broken pitcher,spills down her face.Losing the struggle against yesterday's memories.Like oil mixed in
water,it always floats to the surface.Words echoed through a sheet of empty beer bottles.On the hard wooden floor of her room,day dreams of a life,a story in which the father loves his
Her friend glently puts his white gloved hand on her shoulder.Her eyes light up like a stray cat.Waiting for the touch to become a grib,affection to become suffering,like it always
does.There's no martyrdom in his touch,only the kindness her father could never find in this life.
"Are you my guarding angel?" asks Emily.
"Clear simple and plain that's just fine that's just one of my names".His red lips widdens to revival his perfectly white teeth.He stares into Emily's eyes, harbor in a sea of
soreness,torment,and nights cried to sleep from a broken heart.His royal blue eyes,shine brighter then sirius,that glistens through the glass ceiling above their heads.His words are
slow,virtuous,and honest as he brushes away her golden threaded hair,to gently,warmly breath in her ear ,"couldn't love you more,you have a beautiful taste."
Distance,the chiming of marble bells hanging from his multicolored harlequin suite.The summer draft,reminds us it still there,listening to his words,astonished and lost with in the kaleidoscopic worn as his suite.Green,red,orange,yellow.purple,pink they twist and shift,jingling marble bells orchestrate his dejected tragedy.Dandy lions sway left to right,little girls in yellow rain coats lost in a emerald sea.Through a painted smile,he says "remember Jitters Emily,remember you're dog".
Much like drowned bodies,the memories wash to the surface of Emily's reminiscence.
"Daddy,Daddy"calls a charming little girl,not yet tarnished my her fathers malevolences.Her golden pig tails bounce up and down,retained by her mothers only gift,scarlet ribbons.In a yellow dressed badly need of tailoring,dirt stained face badly need of washing.
"Daddy,Daddy"repeats the blanch faced girl,"where's Jitters,I've called for him all day and he's not under the porch I looked."
Emily's father (another name seems unimportant) twiggy,drained of all mirthful by failed ambition,left with the burden of caretaking this unwanted child.Comfort.cheer,joy humor
patched by amber liquor.Eyes mimiced to black coals,embracement mirrored to a bed of nails.Speaking slowly,with out guilt "I told you Emily,God dam it I told you.I didn't want that flea infested
mutt running around here.I told you once I told you a thousand times.Last week when he tore up my work shoes,I told you Emily that dog had to go.Didn't I tell
you that Emily?"
With a heavy head of seeping tears,Emily finds that stamina to nood,yes.
"And how you would let me sleep with you at nights.I told you not to ,God dam it Emily look at me God dam it when I speak to you!!I told you not to didn't I!"
Did he ever kiss her goodnight,did he ever stay beside her,until the unknown drifted into sleep?A little girl can only be a little girl,but a father can be
flagitious.Not wanting to see the dried blood under her fathers finger nails,trying not to envisage frighten claw marks beneath his flannel sleeves.Jitters tail,stopping like
a wind-up toy,his tongue never to kiss her checks,the only affection she ever knew,the only love ever shown to her.A father to melancholy to even notice her,a dog taken away by hands that only
"God dam it"says the voice of self satisfaction,"I told you Emily I fucking told you,you bring these things on yourself girl.God dam it I told you"
(more to come...just posting it piece by piece sorry)
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