Spencer And Smoking No 99

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
CHILDHOOD. FAMILY. HUMOUR. FLASH FICTION. FROM THE COLLECTION, " BORN UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF SHADOWS." NO 99

Submitted: May 21, 2019

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Submitted: May 21, 2019

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Spencer And Smoking

 

  The only thing Claw don't like about Spencer is that

Spencer don't like anyone smoking when they sit down

 to listen to him. Claw's always smoking, he smokes more

than me, he smokes more than anyone I know. Claw 

even smokes rollies, 'cause it's cheaper to roll your own,

but his metal pincers don't make it easy for him to do it.

  So one day Claw gets the shits when Spencer's standing

on his step ladder cracking jokes with the crowd, telling 

jokes with his pommie accent, and Claw's laughing too,

smoking away, and then Spencer points to him and 

tells him to stop smoking or leave the crowd, that he won't

have no-one who smokes listening to him 'cause smoking

gives you cancer, and Claw turns real red, 'cause he's

embarressed, and he turns away and tries to say something

to me, but I can't hear, and Spencer yells at him with his

oily hair brushed hair falling over his face, and over his ears,

he yells at Claw " Why don't you suck your boyfriend's cock?

 It's better for you than smoking bloody cigarettes, and it's 

a lot more pleasurable, and it's a lot safer too! "

  And all of Spencer's audience is laughing, laughing at Claw,

and his good hand is shaking as he lights another cigarette

for his nerves, and he doesn't know where to hide when

Spencer calls out to him again, " Didn't you hear what I 

just said, smoking will kill you, why don't you suck your

boyfriend's cock instead, he'd really like that, and you won't

be killing yourself! "

  Me and Claw never go to see Spencer again, Claw reckons

he's heard all the jokes a million times, and anyhow he's a

poof, isn't he?

 

 

 

 


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